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The Story of KKW
How we got into this mess in the first place


Sometime back in the dim and distant past
a quiet and unassuming young designer spent an evening piecing together a test design for his new portfolio of graphic design work.

Stuck for a name, a theme, suitable content of any sort and having seen Bend It Like Beckham a few months before he half-jokingly decided to mock-up a Keira Knightley fansite.

"All this Keira stuff will be removed once I get my real content ready", said Ermintrude.

So for three busy weeks galleries were constructed to test layout ideas, contact pages were uploaded and every day Keira crept a little further into this unsuspecting portfolio concept site...

At a speed just a little more than that of glacial movement, the Keira fans started to arrive. Hearing word of a new fansite in a sparse market caused a number of tents and campfires to spring up around the server. When the time came to make the chop and remove the Keira content, the now somewhat bemused campers cried in a fit of outrage: LET THERE BE KNIGHTLEY! And there was Knightley. The fans saw the Knightley and it was good.



Resigning himself to an impoverished life in the servitude of Keira Knightley's adoring masses, the rather surprised designer decided he must recruit a helping hand to keep the update-monkeys at bay. After searching far and wide our weary traveler happened across a dingy back-alley jazz bar in Sydney, Australia, purely on the advice of a 200-year old wiseman named Winston McStoat.

With all the agility of a split beanbag he cut a path to table six, his footsteps muffled by the sound of dentures falling from the mouth of the black saxophonist on the stage. Blind as bat, he was.
Rest in peace Bleeding Gums Murphey.

Noticing a 'reserved' sign at table six, our intrepid designer hovers close by the man he is here to recruit. The man's name was Liam.

As the man's friends leave the table he overhears Liam whisper to the barman "I've left half a kilo in the gents toilet for now, that's forty you owe me. We'll count the Edam as a free sample... oh, and fetch me a Vic Bitter".

Spying a small magazine-cutout of Keira Knightley's head in the man's wallet left no shadow of doubt that this was the ideal candidate for the job.

Noticing that Liam must be the most unsavory of all characters, a cheesedealer AND university student (from the beans-on-toast at the table), he knew this would be an easy deal. Slamming a full carton of Ariel Automatic onto the table, the designer introduced himself as Barrington and proposed the deal.

As they left the bar for the subway Barrington couldn't help but feel cheated. Had he REALLY gone and agreed to do this Uni students washing for a whole year in return for some help on a website? The heavy atmosphere of finest garden skunk-smoke in the bar had obviously clouded his judgment. No time for second thoughts now, though. They were both hungry.



After feasting on rotten fruit in the park bins, Liam and Barrington zig-zagged their way back to the office to start building Keira Knightley Wavefront. Cracking open a fresh bottle of Stella Artois for every page they finished would go a long way to explaining the slow development of fresh material...

For many months they toiled long and hard into the cold nights to produce The First Wavefront. The galleries were maintained by hand, the people started coming and the first Keira Knightley forum planted a seed of community in the hearts of many fans.

The little website started life on a free server at Prohosting. The server was called Wavefront. And so we began life as "Keira Knightley At The Wavefront"

After nearly a year of finest quality operation, the website was getting a bit too big for it's own good. Barrington opened a fresh white sheet of Photoshop paper and painted The Second Wavefront. Around this time an opening was had at a celebrity hosting company and the move was made to bigger, more cavernous digs, to better serve the fans with burgeoning content. The name of our previous home stuck but made little sense now - the website became "Keira Knightley Wavefront!"

It wasn't long before The Second Wavefront began to creak and groan under the weight of thousands of fans visiting every day. Extruding every last packet of energy from his Keira-addled mind, Barrington once again took to Photoshop to create his masterwork: The Third Wavefront, Wavefront Indigo as it's known now. And lo it was good.

With Indigo came the move to database-driven content and galleries. We needed yet more help.




A crack team of trained stoats left the KKW headquarters one night and used their portable rocketpacks to jet their stoaty little selves to Belgium. There they found Titooy. Catching the poor chap unawares, they dosed his Cheese toasties with LSD and taunted him the whole night long with stoats in bikinis dancing the Lambada with Kazoos. It wasn't long before he caved and agreed to work for the Wavefront, adding his own gallery website to our own in KKW's succesful merger with Keira Knightley Multimedia Resources. The KKMR banner still sits proud at the bottom of KKW today.

But it wasn't enough to sate the great undead hordes of KKW visitors.

With great consternation it was discovered that Stoats are only good for single-use missions. We had to buy a whole new array of Ninja Penguins for the next job. Entering the United States disguised as a consignment of Yucca Plants, the ninja penguins found their man committing an act of gross indecency with a 5-buck hooker in a wheelie-bin by Taco Bell. The hooker's name was Gertrude, but that doesn't matter now the child support agency's gone. The man was Oencross.

This keira-scannig fanatic was agreed a private harem and free whipped cream for a year if he worked for us. He got to the KKW office before the Penguins did for work on monday. Eager, that lad.


So times were wonderful. The forums were huge, thousands of members, the site grew every day and everyone was happy. The Golden Year we called it. But someone always pisses on your parade on the internet. A disagreement with the host left us alone and cast adrift on the high seas of the information backroad.

We were scooped up by a strange figure called Glare. He was the great saviour for a few months before he took an overdose of Fanta one morning and morphed into a schizophrenic basket-case. We had lost the database for the forum that served us through the Golden Year. The community was in tatters and we had to start almost from scratch to rebuild the Wavefront.

But slowly they returned to their home. The community began to grow again and now rests at just under one thousand registered fans. Still half of the previous total, but growing every day.

Soon after The Great Crash, Administrator Liam left on a global jaunt of international drinking. A space on the board of directors was open for an up and coming young executive hustler. Passing the rigorous and gruelling selection week in Bognor Regis' pouring rain was Apoggy. The northern scally was just the man to add a touch of iron-fisted fluffiness to the management team.

The Wavefront soon left behind Glare and bought their own server with a friendly hosting company in America. They cut us a frighteningly good deal in return for Keira's phone number. It was a no-brainer of course.

So now, after a long and turbulent past, the Wavefront is safe for the future. Staffed by hardworking individuals that genuinely care for the community and work hard to make us the best.



The Cast So Far:

Barrington - Oversees the Wavefront Foundation, performs housekeeping on the website and answers emails when he can.

Apoggy - Manages the forums, chief point of contact for admin duties, liaises with everyone on everything. A bright future indeed.

Liam - Last seen clutching a torn map of The Netherlands, gently burbling to himself at a webcam.

Oencross - Maintains all our galleries and sources new material. Exceptionally hard-worker. Is owed many beers by the company.

Titooy - Built our galleries and provided around half of the content we have today. Seems to be missing in action of late. We salute you sir.

 

Legal Notice | Original Material © 2003-2006 Wavefront
Site Map Powered by the Wavefront Snaffle EngineNews supplied by Paul Fisher's excellent KeiraWebGalleries based on Titooy's Keira Knightley Multimedia Resources (KKMMR 2003)