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Relationships & Sexuality Advice? I-Told-You-So's? Confusion? Rabid Parents? Stick it in here and smoke it. Boys welcome too!

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Old 01-10-2004, 11:48 PM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2004
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Let's talk about sex

So today during lectures, I took it upon myself to reflect upon the nature of human procreation. Some people like to frown upon those who would enjoy it, and others would call it a dirty act. I call them hypocrites. If women could just understand how powerful the act of sex really is, why, they could control the world. Alas, they are too busy calling each other hoes and whores. I wonder why it is that women are so quick to be so judgemental. I think jealously has much to do with it.

Sex. Now I could have sex anywhere and just about any time of day. Most women generally have trouble with this. It would appear that women need to be in "just the right mood," whatever that means. I mean, take this from a logical standpoint. A woman has three holes: mouth, vagina, and anus. Now, to have sex, a woman just literally has to stand there. That's it. I suppose one could argue that they need to produce their "natural lubricants," however, if you just take some oils and apply it where it's necessary, it all works the same. Now a man needs to have a fully erect penis. This requires some concentration. Some men need to concentrate harder than others, *cough* duckula. And furthermore, there are others who can't even get it up at all, *cough* spire. And I feel really sorry for those people. Nevertheless, blood must be transfered from other parts of the body to accommendate a sudden growth of the penis. This, of course, requires energy.

So you might then ask, well, why is it that women need to be "in the mood" and men do not? I don't know man. The world just doesn't make any sense at all.

I could just call women retarded like most morons would do and just leave it at that. But me being a man of higher intelligence sought to figure out the source of this problem. I read articles which taught me erroneous zones on a woman's body other than just her nipples and clitoris. I watched some instructional dvds which taught me how to massage a women's breasts, back, and feet. And I read articles and watched dvds on how to properly give a women fantastic oral sex (contrary to popular belief, good oral sex requires not only the tongue, but both hands and all ten fingers...).

And I think I've got it. I find that if I used these techniques I've learned and couple that with some cheesy porn lines, women melt in my hands like puddy. Then I realized something, it's not the women's fault at all. I mean, sure she could just stand there, but that would just be wasting her time. I think the fault lies in us men being so ignorant on how to properly please a woman. Most of you women here are still in high school and some of you just starting college. You probably won't understand the meaning of what I just said. But when you reach 25+ years of age, you'll begin to realize that men are such clumsy idiots. All they want to do is go "in and out" then drink beer and fall asleep. And then you'll begin to resent having sex.

Me? I think I'll just go about my business and make this world a happier place, one woman at a time.

PS If you have any objections, rather than making yourself look like a bumbling jackass, why don't you post a counter arguement? I would be intrigued and delighted to read your replies.
I against I,
flesh of my flesh,
and mind of my mind,
two of a kind but one won't survive,
my images reflect in the enemies eye,
and his images reflect in mine the same time,
--Mos Def
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Old 01-10-2004, 11:53 PM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Moderator #2
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Originally Posted by NearokA
Let's talk about sex.
Let's not.
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