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Relationships & Sexuality Advice? I-Told-You-So's? Confusion? Rabid Parents? Stick it in here and smoke it. Boys welcome too!

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Old 02-04-2006, 11:22 PM   #1
once_dreaded
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Best Lines or the Corniest

C'mon people...I want to see your best & worst lines you can come up with.

Worst: Knock knock. "Who's there?" Frito "Frito who?" Frito can I lay ya?
^Reference to Frito Lay chips

Best...okay...not THE best...but it worked: I'm new in town and lost, can you direct me to the best Lessie spot?
^Got a dancing-date out of that one LOL
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Old 03-04-2006, 12:30 AM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Administrator #2
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"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"
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Old 10-04-2006, 06:55 AM   #3
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Last night I was witness to a line from a couple that caused a monster make-out session (I of course was NOT apart of this session because I know how to behave...either that or I'm just a prude).

Alexis (shouting to BJ & Linda, Alexis was DRUNK) - Are you two poly????

Linda (looking at BJ...BJ looks back eyebrows raised) - No...we're open.

Laura (also DRUNK and shouting) - So what does that mean???

BJ (doesn't realize yet how far this convo will go) - It means that we're in love with each other but not closed to the idea of inviting others into enjoying our intimacy.

Alexis (leans over to BJ) - So...you'll kiss me then?

BJ (looks at Linda & gets a nod) - SURE, why not.

The rest of the night was spent with me trying to get Alexis away from BJ on behalf of Alexis' twin sister Hillary who informed the whole table that Alexis' GF was at home ill & Alexis shouldn't be partaking in that kind of activity. I also had to referee Laura (who is str8 and married???) and Alexis because they were fighting over Linda & BJ. *shrugs* I had fun entertaining the table with my campy performances of the Karaoke songs but found myself being envious of the freedom from morals that drunk people enjoy LOL.
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Old 10-04-2006, 08:13 AM   Lifetme Service Award Officer #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandy
"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"
Does this relate to the hookerboots you said you own, in any way? :icon_bigg I suppose my oldschool Adidas trainers don't quite have the same effect...
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Old 10-04-2006, 08:35 AM   Officer #5
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"Your clothes look very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming, too."
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Old 11-04-2006, 08:08 PM   Officer #6
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Quote:
"Your clothes look very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming, too."
Hahahaha. I've never heard of that one. It's good.

Some of the worst I've heard (that have actually been employed in my presence):

"You here alone?" I know, this one doesn't seem that bad/corny, but picture a guy inquiring this aloud to a girl who is standing near another male whom she was JUST seen coquettishly mingling/canoodling with. Or to a girl who is clearly part of a large party.

"Can I buy you a drink?" Again, seemingly not such a bad pick-up line (hell, this is one of my dream lines... just make it a Red Stripe or a Bellini, please), however, this was said to me in the conspicuous presence of my boyfriend who was SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME at the bar. Why do some guys do that? Do they automatically assume that they can steal a girl away from whomever she's currently with?

"So, when do you turn 21?"/"How old are you?"/"What're you doin' after work?" I was asked this countless times by a multitude of malodorous proletariats while I was working as a waitress.

Ohh, yes you Sam Shepard-esque, middle-aged, lunch-bucket worker. Please wait for me outside in your barely-functioning, begrimed, pale blue Ford pick-up. I can't wait.

"That's a really nice picture. I mean, reaaaaally nice. *head nod*" The teenager working at my local video store said this to me upon seeing my driver's license. Maybe he was being genuine?

"You have to be the prettiest girl here tonight." Okay, this is extremely cheese-laden, but it was said to me about four years ago at a local concert and, hey, it worked! We're still together today. Granted, I was (as far as I could see) one of the only females within the vicinity, but I'll take what I can get.
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Old 11-04-2006, 08:27 PM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Senior Registered Member #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leonie
Does this relate to the hookerboots you said you own, in any way? :icon_bigg I suppose my oldschool Adidas trainers don't quite have the same effect...
Yeah...um...it has nothing to do with the shoes.

"How'd ya like to have some pizza and some sex?"
"What?!?!"
"I'm sorry...you don't like pizza?"

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Old 11-04-2006, 08:29 PM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Administrator #8
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"I'd hate to see your future walk away from you." Then you see him walking away.

That was probably the most clever one I've experienced.
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Old 11-04-2006, 08:33 PM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Senior Registered Member #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandy
"I'd hate to see your future walk away from you." Then you see him walking away.

That was probably the most clever one I've experienced.
Surely you've had creepy old men take it to Gouda level at the casino.
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Old 11-04-2006, 09:54 PM   Senior Registered Member #10
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Old 12-04-2006, 01:56 AM   #11
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^ Ewwww image-causing line Ewwwwww gross gross gross I need a good mind scrubbing.

"Are you dancing with anyone?..Would you like to dance with me?"

Hey, I can't resist when I'm asked to dance so of course I danced with Heidi from Ohio, she was cool and I had fun.
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Old 17-04-2006, 12:26 AM   #12
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"Wanna taste my oatmeal cookies?" *sexy smirk*
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Old 17-04-2006, 04:34 AM   Senior Registered Member #13
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This is my favorite to use on all the ladies:

"Wanna fornicate?"

I just thought of another good one:
"I bet you twenty bucks I could pop my load with you in under five minutes."

If she takes the bet you get laid, and you get 20 bucks. Well I'd get the 20 at least. My highest duration is 00:00:34 (hr/min/sec)
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Old 17-04-2006, 11:44 AM   KKWiki Contributer Senior Registered Member #14
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Excuse me, would you like to come home with me,
cook me dinner and give me a blowjob you cumcatcher
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Old 17-04-2006, 12:38 PM   Senior Registered Member #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ranman
Excuse me, would you like to come home with me,
cook me dinner and give me a blowjob you cumcatcher
If you go to a dominant/submissive fetish meeting, that would probably work. :icon_err:
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Old 17-04-2006, 02:10 PM   Senior Registered Member #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandy
"I'd hate to see your future walk away from you." Then you see him walking away.

That was probably the most clever one I've experienced.
I actually like this one.

Here's one of the most stupid I heard:
(keep in my mind that I hadn't said a word)
"hey, you have a beautiful voice, are you a singer, you should be, you got me totally enchanted" blablablabla
I had a hard time not laughing at this one.

Last edited by marine; 18-04-2006 at 07:42 AM.
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Old 17-04-2006, 04:01 PM   KKWiki Contributer Senior Registered Member #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DefyingGravity
If you go to a dominant/submissive fetish meeting, that would probably work. :icon_err:

What?

How do you think I got engaged?
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Old 17-04-2006, 04:14 PM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Administrator #18
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Old 17-04-2006, 07:36 PM   Senior Registered Member #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marine
I actually like this one.

Here's one of the most stupid I heard:
(keep in my mind that I hadn't said a word)
"hey, you have a beautiful voice, how are you a singer, you should be, you got me totally enchanted" blablablabla
I had a hard time not laughing at this one.
You should have pretended you were mute, then flicked him off and walked away. He would have felt stupid.

(Do people use the middle finger in France?)
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Old 17-04-2006, 10:28 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacoby
(Do people use the middle finger in France?)
Yes, haha, it's universal. i saw it a couple times when i was there.

Your dad must be a terrorist, cause you're the bomb


Yeah.... someone at school told me that one. haha.
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