Ex-es

[Kelsey]

I just saw Little Black Book (which, btw, is really good - less cliched, and *much* less predictable than the average romantic comedy), and really got to thinking. Basically, without giving the story away, Brittany Murphy's character feels compelled to find out about her live-in boyfriend's ex-es. By the end of the story, I was completely caught up with her feelings, knew exactly how she felt, blah blah blah. So I was wondering, would you expect your current boyfriend/girlfriend to tell you about their past relationships? If he was still keeping in touch with them, would you want him to tell you? Would you just prefer to remain oblivious about it, or would you want to know everything?? And if the latter is your choice, to what lengths would you go to find out everything you want to know.

Post your thoughts and answers, and if you have comments on the movie, I guess feel free to post them, as long as you stay on topic and *please don't post spoilers*. This is one of the few romantic comedies where you can't predict the ending in the first ten minutes, so let's not ruin it.

[barrington]

I'd want to know why their previous relationship ended - beyond that nothing really matters too much. I suppose you might also want to know how similar you are to their previous partners; makes it easier to predict the outcome of your current relationship.

[Ashlyn]

Same as Baz... Knowing anything more than that could get a bit awkward I think.

[gracie]

i dont care very much, it comes up, but its not like a need to know thing.

[Pygmalion]

Well I know about all my gf's past relationships-all guys-and she knows all mine-all guys lol-the information is generally used to pay each other out haha.

[kilyncw]

well my gf and i both still kinda talk to our exes, i pretty much stopped because my ex cheated on me twice but she still calls me to ask how i am doing and stuff, but i tell my gf everytime just for her security. and she does the same, like her ex gets thrashed and will call her or whatever but she always tells me. so we work it out like that.
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[hasselbrad]

It's not so important in the beginning, but as time goes on you'd better be prepared to deal with stuff. If it all comes up in the first two weeks of dating the relationship is probably doomed to failure anyway. That's usually too much shit to deal with if you haven't really shared anything else significant.
As the relationship grows, more of the backstory is going to be filled in, and that's where you have to either be willing to deal with the information, and understand that this person is with you...and not their ex...for a reason, or act like a pre-pubescent child, and pout over every passing reference to an ex.
I have a solid relationship with my ex-wife. We have a child, so that makes it that much more important that our relationship stays on solid ground. I try and be upfront as possible about this with women I have dated, but it absolutely amazes me how bunched up some of their drawers get if they hear me talking with my ex. Tantrum...followed by break up. I usually chalk this up to someone looking for a reason to break up, but some of them have been downright immature, and in retrospect, were probably unable to deal with the situation like an adult because they were still mired in a high school mentality when it comes to relationships. (No offense to those of you in high school, as many of you display maturity far in excess of your ages, and certainly in excess of some of the "women" I have dated)
One actually confronted me with my past in the context of me wanting to get back together with my ex-wife...who lives in another state...and is re-married. If you are in a relationship with someone that insecure, by all means, run in the opposite direction as fast as you can.