Twisted Wish - Page 4

hasselbrad · 18-05-2010, 04:03 AM

Granted... you are locked inside a footlocker.

I wish the NBA playoffs would just end.

Hazzle · 24-05-2010, 07:49 AM

Granted. The NBA playoffs end because every active NBA star comes around to your house and gang rapes you, and once they're all convicted and sent to prison they can't play professional basketball. Your arse is sore for days.

I wish my coffee was stronger.

eelliiinn · 24-05-2010, 06:54 PM

Granted, it's stronger, it's too strong. End of story.

I wish next weekend will be as awesome as last!

michael22 · 27-05-2010, 08:15 PM

Granted it is, too bad you are not alive to witness it.

I wish dvd licensing in the USA extended into Canada.......

Hazzle · 28-05-2010, 09:57 AM

Granted. In fact all American laws are extended into Canada. Including the Patriot Act. They find stuff on your computer and decide to raid your home during the night, whisking you off to Gitmo where you're waterboarded.

The last thing on your mind is DVDs...

I wish shaving didn't irritate my skin so much.

hasselbrad · 28-05-2010, 03:13 PM

Granted... shaving now causes an orgasmic sensation all over your body. You stay in the bathroom, shaving every square inch of your body and eventually die of starvation.

I wish I was playing golf.

Hazzle · 08-06-2010, 09:29 AM

Granted. You're playing golf. Only it's against Tiger Woods. And the loser is going to be mauled by a pride of hungry lions who haven't eaten in days. Oh, and you have one arm tied behind your back and no handicap. Good luck Brad!

I wish the World Cup would just bloody start already.

hasselbrad · 08-06-2010, 03:14 PM

Granted... the World Cup has started with a spectacular United States victory over England (3-0), and Rooney, Gerrard and Lampard have all managed to get sent off as well.

I wish someone would plug that goddamn hole that's spewing oil in the Gulf of Mexico.

Hazzle · 09-06-2010, 03:11 PM

Granted. The government intervenes and saves the day, but in order to cover the expenditure, taxes go up 25%. You can't afford to keep your house so you sell and move. Unfortunately for you, at that precise moment the measures to stop the oil spill cause a gusher of oil to open up right below the house you've sold, the value of which has now just increased tenfold. Oops.

(Oh, and btw, I'm not an England fan, fully expect the USA to get at least one point out the game with England and would love it if Rooney, Gerrard and Fat Frank, being key players for Arsenal's rivals, all got Ebola and died. I am, and have always been, a Brazil fan. I'm worried about a North Korea upset.)

I wish I could find a perfect Twitter client that did everything I needed.

eelliiinn · 21-06-2010, 09:19 PM

You find your client, he does everything you need, and more, and He decides you need some... rough love

I wish I was allowed to wear nail polish at work -.-

hasselbrad · 23-06-2010, 04:36 PM

Granted... you are now allowed to wear nail polish at work, but nothing else... you are now an "exotic dancer".

Shake what your mama gave ya!

I wish the referees would stop making so fucking hard for the United States in the World Cup.

eelliiinn · 23-06-2010, 10:35 PM

Granted, but only through bribery. The truth comes out and they're disqualified.

I wish I could move out today.

michael22 · 29-06-2010, 07:04 PM

granted you move out, and you relize what a horrible mistake it is before you have a large amount of cash.

I wish that my summer cold would go away.

hasselbrad · 30-06-2010, 03:33 PM

Granted... your summer cold has gone away. You now have AIDS.

I wish I still had some sort of rooting interest left in the World Cup.

Hazzle · 01-07-2010, 05:10 PM

Granted. The you're now a Paraguayan and having "enjoyed" Japan v Paraguay you now have to watch your team take on Spain. Paraguay get three men sent off, including both central defenders. Spain are given five penalties as they run out 10-0 winners, the new all-time record. You bet your life savings on the game and are now homeless.

I wish there weren't these annoying "rest days" during the World Cup.

hasselbrad · 01-07-2010, 08:22 PM

Granted. The tournament is already over... and Spain won.

I wish I was on an around the world cruise.

eelliiinn · 05-07-2010, 04:49 PM

Granted, you're on a shitty boat with nothing to do and no food. This sad excuse of a boat takes you around the world without ever stopping anywhere.

I wish I didn't have a fucked up toe.

michael22 · 12-07-2010, 12:41 AM

granted your fucked up toe becomes gangrenous and your foot must be amputated. Your fucked up toe is no more.

I wish that I did not buy disintegration by the cure at a garagemsale for five bucks. the album is messing with my mind.

eelliiinn · 12-07-2010, 10:21 PM

Granted, you bought it for 50 bucks.

I wish I didn't have such a bad fucking sunburn!!

Hazzle · 17-07-2010, 07:44 AM

Granted. You don't have sunburn. Because some psychopath madman has kidnapped you and peeled off all your skin.

While you're still alive.

I wish I could go see Inception today.

18-05-2010, 04:03 AM	#61
hasselbrad Senior Citizen Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Sugar Hill, GA... finally! Civilization! Posts: 4,590	Granted... you are locked inside a footlocker. I wish the NBA playoffs would just end. __________________ "Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham." I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter.

24-05-2010, 06:54 PM	#63
eelliiinn Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 298	Granted, it's stronger, it's too strong. End of story. I wish next weekend will be as awesome as last! __________________ Don't fear death, fear the unlived life.

27-05-2010, 08:15 PM	#64
michael22 eternally screwed Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 843	Granted it is, too bad you are not alive to witness it. I wish dvd licensing in the USA extended into Canada....... __________________ 88 member of the KK posse, A high powered mutant of some kind to weird to live, to rare to die.-Hunter. S. Thompson The concept of wuv confuses and infuriates us -lurgh

28-05-2010, 03:13 PM	#66
hasselbrad Senior Citizen Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Sugar Hill, GA... finally! Civilization! Posts: 4,590	Granted... shaving now causes an orgasmic sensation all over your body. You stay in the bathroom, shaving every square inch of your body and eventually die of starvation. I wish I was playing golf. __________________ "Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham." I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter.

08-06-2010, 03:14 PM	#68
hasselbrad Senior Citizen Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Sugar Hill, GA... finally! Civilization! Posts: 4,590	Granted... the World Cup has started with a spectacular United States victory over England (3-0), and Rooney, Gerrard and Lampard have all managed to get sent off as well. I wish someone would plug that goddamn hole that's spewing oil in the Gulf of Mexico. __________________ "Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham." I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter.

24-05-2010, 07:49 AM	#62
Hazzle Sponsored Cunt Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 5,168	Granted. The NBA playoffs end because every active NBA star comes around to your house and gang rapes you, and once they're all convicted and sent to prison they can't play professional basketball. Your arse is sore for days. I wish my coffee was stronger.

28-05-2010, 09:57 AM	#65
Hazzle Sponsored Cunt Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 5,168	Granted. In fact all American laws are extended into Canada. Including the Patriot Act. They find stuff on your computer and decide to raid your home during the night, whisking you off to Gitmo where you're waterboarded. The last thing on your mind is DVDs... I wish shaving didn't irritate my skin so much.

08-06-2010, 09:29 AM	#67
Hazzle Sponsored Cunt Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 5,168	Granted. You're playing golf. Only it's against Tiger Woods. And the loser is going to be mauled by a pride of hungry lions who haven't eaten in days. Oh, and you have one arm tied behind your back and no handicap. Good luck Brad! I wish the World Cup would just bloody start already.

09-06-2010, 03:11 PM	#69
Hazzle Sponsored Cunt Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 5,168	Granted. The government intervenes and saves the day, but in order to cover the expenditure, taxes go up 25%. You can't afford to keep your house so you sell and move. Unfortunately for you, at that precise moment the measures to stop the oil spill cause a gusher of oil to open up right below the house you've sold, the value of which has now just increased tenfold. Oops. (Oh, and btw, I'm not an England fan, fully expect the USA to get at least one point out the game with England and would love it if Rooney, Gerrard and Fat Frank, being key players for Arsenal's rivals, all got Ebola and died. I am, and have always been, a Brazil fan. I'm worried about a North Korea upset.) I wish I could find a perfect Twitter client that did everything I needed.

21-06-2010, 09:19 PM	#70
eelliiinn Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 298	You find your client, he does everything you need, and more, and He decides you need some... rough love I wish I was allowed to wear nail polish at work -.- __________________ Don't fear death, fear the unlived life.

23-06-2010, 04:36 PM	#71
hasselbrad Senior Citizen Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Sugar Hill, GA... finally! Civilization! Posts: 4,590	Granted... you are now allowed to wear nail polish at work, but nothing else... you are now an "exotic dancer". Shake what your mama gave ya! I wish the referees would stop making so fucking hard for the United States in the World Cup. __________________ "Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham." I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter.

23-06-2010, 10:35 PM	#72
eelliiinn Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 298	Granted, but only through bribery. The truth comes out and they're disqualified. I wish I could move out today. __________________ Don't fear death, fear the unlived life.

29-06-2010, 07:04 PM	#73
michael22 eternally screwed Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 843	granted you move out, and you relize what a horrible mistake it is before you have a large amount of cash. I wish that my summer cold would go away. __________________ 88 member of the KK posse, A high powered mutant of some kind to weird to live, to rare to die.-Hunter. S. Thompson The concept of wuv confuses and infuriates us -lurgh

30-06-2010, 03:33 PM	#74
hasselbrad Senior Citizen Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Sugar Hill, GA... finally! Civilization! Posts: 4,590	Granted... your summer cold has gone away. You now have AIDS. I wish I still had some sort of rooting interest left in the World Cup. __________________ "Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham." I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter.

01-07-2010, 05:10 PM	#75
Hazzle Sponsored Cunt Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 5,168	Granted. The you're now a Paraguayan and having "enjoyed" Japan v Paraguay you now have to watch your team take on Spain. Paraguay get three men sent off, including both central defenders. Spain are given five penalties as they run out 10-0 winners, the new all-time record. You bet your life savings on the game and are now homeless. I wish there weren't these annoying "rest days" during the World Cup.

01-07-2010, 08:22 PM	#76
hasselbrad Senior Citizen Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Sugar Hill, GA... finally! Civilization! Posts: 4,590	Granted. The tournament is already over... and Spain won. I wish I was on an around the world cruise. __________________ "Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham." I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter.

05-07-2010, 04:49 PM	#77
eelliiinn Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 298	Granted, you're on a shitty boat with nothing to do and no food. This sad excuse of a boat takes you around the world without ever stopping anywhere. I wish I didn't have a fucked up toe. __________________ Don't fear death, fear the unlived life.

12-07-2010, 12:41 AM	#78
michael22 eternally screwed Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 843	granted your fucked up toe becomes gangrenous and your foot must be amputated. Your fucked up toe is no more. I wish that I did not buy disintegration by the cure at a garagemsale for five bucks. the album is messing with my mind. __________________ 88 member of the KK posse, A high powered mutant of some kind to weird to live, to rare to die.-Hunter. S. Thompson The concept of wuv confuses and infuriates us -lurgh

12-07-2010, 10:21 PM	#79
eelliiinn Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 298	Granted, you bought it for 50 bucks. I wish I didn't have such a bad fucking sunburn!! __________________ Don't fear death, fear the unlived life.

17-07-2010, 07:44 AM	#80
Hazzle Sponsored Cunt Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 5,168	Granted. You don't have sunburn. Because some psychopath madman has kidnapped you and peeled off all your skin. While you're still alive. I wish I could go see Inception today.

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