What Do You Look For?

[Kelsey]

So my boyfriend and I are officially broken up. We broke up last Wednesday, but since it's now been an entire week, I'm assuming we're completely, officially, 100% done. Anyways, after 7 days, calling and hanging up, tears, a little too much alcohol, and all the drama, I have finally come to the for-sure conclusion that he was all wrong for me. Well, obviously. Cue Haz saying 'I told you so'....

Anyways.

Which brings me to my question. What do you look for in a potential boyfriend/girlfriend. Physically and mentally. And, should you decide to share more, please tell us about your significant other and whether or not they meet all of your initial expectations. I'm always curious to see who is attracted to whom, and in what way.

[Pinkfairy]

Sorry to hear the sad news.
My boyfriend and I have been on and off for the last year. I've learned that there are several aspects that are important in a relationship. I'm still debating whether love is enough.
Compatibility is obviously important, as well as trust. I realized that after he cheated on me, it's been hard for me to trust him. That's a really bad sign. I do know he's sorry, but I don't know if he'd do it again so we're working on that. Now he and I have really good chemistry. I'm figuring stuff out myself, so I guess he and I are off. I did learn something: guys love their space.
basically, I just look for someone who I can have fun with, good chemistry, and who I cannot stay mad with for more than 24 hours.

[Ashlyn]

hope you're doing okay
i think an interesting personality and a sense of humour are very important, i cant stand boring people or people who have nothing to talk about. someone you can have fun with and who you feel comfortable with all the time. and obviously a nice guy who is caring and all that.. as for looks, (i dont know what to say without sounding shallow) but looks are important to a certain degree - certainly not the most important thing though.
my boyfriend at the moment - well we're on and off, i dont know what's happening. he's a great guy and i really like him, but something doesnt feel right, i dont know what it is.. we have a strage relationship, i cant describe it. (this is making no sense)
i'd say he 'meets my expectations'.. he's everything i could want in a guy and i can see myself with him for a long time, we just need to sort some things out first.

[ryan]

The traits, qualities, etc. of the ideal girlfriend, for me, are actually found in someone I've had the pleasure of talking to these past few days. She knows who she is. It's really kind of strange that someone out there has such similar interests and such as myself.

Anyway, to elaborate on this, there are quite a few qualities in a female that I seek out. They include:
a fun, energetic personality
sense of humor
physical attraction
lack of arrogance and/or being stuck up
open/communicative
intelligence
athletic ability
similar hobbies or interests
maturity
and, obviously, an interest in me is a plus

[MeggieHoops]

Originally Posted by ryan

The traits, qualities, etc. of the ideal girlfriend, for me, are actually found in someone I've had the pleasure of talking to these past few days. She knows who she is. It's really kind of strange that someone out there has such similar interests and such as myself.

Anyway, to elaborate on this, there are quite a few qualities in a female that I seek out. They include:
a fun, energetic personality
sense of humor
physical attraction
lack of arrogance and/or being stuck up
open/communicative
intelligence
athletic ability
similar hobbies or interests
maturity
and, obviously, an interest in me is a plus

I have to say...Ryan has it all down. I agree with him completely on everything.

Coincidentally, I've been talking to someone new lately as well...and THEY have all of the qualities that I look for in the perfect guy.

[hasselbrad]

...is preferable. That way I don't have to spend so much time breaking them down. I am pathetic, and I don't want some broad thinking she's better than me 'cause she's got her shit together. :icon_roll
Kidding.
That's what I do. I kid around a lot, and yes Freud, my self-deprecating humor is probably some sort of defense mechanism, but if you don't like it, you can just go back to thoughts of buggering your mother (that is directed at Freud) :icon_wink . I just know that I'm a lot happier now that I can laugh at myself than I was when I couldn't. Therefore, a sense of humor would probably be pretty high on the list. My ex-wife had a problem with me poking fun at myself (weight, college dropout, you name it) and this led to friction. Humor is very important, as is the ability to laugh at oneself.
This sense of humor usually takes care of the laid back, easygoing personality. I want to be with a woman who can be satisfied with where they are and what they are doing. That doesn't mean I want a couch potato, because Lord knows I need someone to get my lazy ass going. I just don't want some kind of type A personality for whom constant change and upheaval are neccessary.
I want a woman who's interested in some things that I'm interested in, say movies and music, for instance, but then also has interests of her own. Too many common interests can be smothering.
Oh yeah, a tall woman would be nice. I've always lusted after tall women. I'm 6' 5", and for some strange reason I've never had a long term relationship with a woman over 5' 6". My ex-wife was 5' 2". Hmm.

...OR...

I want a girl
With a mind like a diamond
I want a girl
Who knows what's best

I want a girl
With shoes that cut
And eyes that burn
Like cigarettes

I want a girl
With the right allocations
Who's fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack

She's playing with her jewelry
She's putting up her hair
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack

I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnng jacket......

I want a girl
Who gets up early
I want a girl
Who stays up late

I want a girl
With uninterupted prosperity
Who uses a machete
To cut through red tape

With fingernails
That shine like justice
And a voice that is dark
Like tinted glass

She is fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack

I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnng.... lonnng jacket

(Instrumental break)

I want a girl
With a smooth liquidation
I want a girl
With good dividends

And at the city bank
We will meet accidentally
We'll start to talk
When she borrows my pen

She wants a car
With a cupholder arm rest
She wants a car
That will get her there

She's changing her name
From Kitty to Karen
She's trading her MG
For a white Chrysler LeBaron

I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnggggggggg jacket

[acliff]

Originally Posted by ryan

The traits, qualities, etc. of the ideal girlfriend, for me, are actually found in someone I've had the pleasure of talking to these past few days. She knows who she is. It's really kind of strange that someone out there has such similar interests and such as myself.

Anyway, to elaborate on this, there are quite a few qualities in a female that I seek out. They include:
a fun, energetic personality
sense of humor
physical attraction
lack of arrogance and/or being stuck up
open/communicative
intelligence
athletic ability
similar hobbies or interests
maturity
and, obviously, an interest in me is a plus

The problem with that list is, that is what absolutely everyone is looking for. Who wouldn't want all these qualities in their other half? Hopefully there is someone out there like that for me, it is a big world after all.

[ryan]

Originally Posted by acliff

The problem with that list is, that is what absolutely everyone is looking for. Who wouldn't want all these qualities in their other half? Hopefully there is someone out there like that for me, it is a big world after all.

Not completely Cliff. I know a lot of people who could care less if their signifigant other is intelligent, athletic, or funny. I however think very highly of those traits.

I'm convinced there's someone for everyone, no matter who the person is. I'm sure there's a Mrs. Cliff out there somewhere.

[Flightfreak]

Originally Posted by ryan

Not completely Cliff. I know a lot of people who could care less if their signifigant other is intelligent, athletic, or funny. I however think very highly of those traits.

I'm convinced there's someone for everyone, no matter who the person is. I'm sure there's a Mrs. Cliff out there somewhere.

I care, i am searching in a girl the same qualities like u do.
I'm also convinced there's someone for everyone. :icon_wink

[Pinkfairy]

I believe in looking for someone who I'm compatible with, but I don't believe in soulmates.

[Hazzle]

Originally Posted by Kelsey

Cue Haz saying 'I told you so'....

I'm actually sorry to hear about it...and no, not even I'd be so cruel as to say "I told you so"...especially as I never did. My approach has always been to give advice but respect the other person enough as an adult to make up their own minds and make their own decision.

Anyway...can't really say what's attractive...hmm. Physically...nothing really stands out. I mean for me beauty is the amalgamation of lots of things, y'know what makes one person beautiful may not suit another person. Eyes are important, physically, as for me they're a window into the soul, when people are trying to hide their true feelings their eyes often give it away. But yeah, other than that, I love all women, tall, short, long hair, short hair any colouring...doesn't really matter much to me.

I'm much more of a personality person, and even there it's hard to put my finger on specifics. Assertiveness is a must, an ability to argue back at me is essential otherwise it'd just be too boring . In addition if they're to argue with me they have to be very opinionated, I wouldn't say arrogant but opinionated for sure, stubborn and also some similar interests over which to argue.

Otherwise...a kind heart, genuine nature and basically every other "nice" personality trait that I lack would be good too as it'd make up for my lack . Positivity to negate my negativity...and basically anything else that I'm not. But above all else it's not specifics but that unknown quantity...the thing that makes them...THEM...y'know? You fall for the person, not traits.

Originally Posted by Pinkfairy

I've learned that there are several aspects that are important in a relationship. I'm still debating whether love is enough.
.

I'd say no, myself, relationship savant that I am, having had the grand total of zip relationships to date.

Originally Posted by Pinkfairy

I believe in looking for someone who I'm compatible with, but I don't believe in soulmates.

I don't believe in soulmates either. There isn't someone out there for me, of that I'm convinced, but meh...what can you do, eh? I think when you do find someone, you have to work hard at it, overcome the obstacles that stand in the way and of course love one another...but no two people are just destined to be together...you gotta put something IN.

[Kelsey]

Haz - I was giving you the opportunity to admit [for once] that you were right. And you didn't. I'm disappointed.

[acliff]

Originally Posted by Kelsey

Haz - I was giving you the opportunity to admit [for once] that you were right. And you didn't. I'm disappointed.

Giving him the benefit of your doubt, is rarely a sensible thing. The only benefits he gets are from the government, as his level of ugliness is considered a disability...

[DragonRat]

Basically, I'm looking for someone that can make me feel good about myself around them. And everyday I am with that person, I am whole, I feel completed. And everyday that I am not with that person, I remind myself of those days that I were. I look for someone to inspire me to better myself as a person. Like a Muse that inspires me to write poetry, I want that certain someone to inspire me in life.

[Kelsey]

To answer my own question (wierd, who would have thought...), I've been told I have high standards, but I don't think so. Physically, it varies. I have preferences of course, but I could like one thing on one person, and not like it on another person. Eyes and smile are most important to me. As for personality, it gets a little more complicated, though [of course] I'm not completely, 100% set on anything. Confidence is a huge deal for me. I want someone who is going to be confident and secure with himself [and me], but won't limit himself either; realistic, but capable of dreaming. And just as important, someone who will keep me grounded, yet doesn't kill my dreams and goals (no matter how unrealistic they happen to be). Someone who doesn't mind spending an evening at home - watching TV or a movie, ordering pizza or chinese; just hanging out - but would also be up for things like going camping for a weekend in Lake Tahoe or driving to Disneyland at the spur of the moment (that's also important....he can't think he's too good for Disneyland ) Someone who understands me: like if a book or movie makes me cry (which is quite often), don't tease me about it, just understand, and if I'm pissed off, don't do stupid things to piss me off even more. Also, someone who goes out of their way to do the simple things that are really nice. I used to stay at my ex boyfriend's house a lot, and when we would leave for school on cold mornings, he would go out to the car first and turn the heater on. That's sweet. And someone who argues back. Don't just take it, argue with me! 1) It's sexy, and 2) I won't feel so bad afterwards. Anyways, that's part of my list, I think I could go on an on. In conclusion, someone who makes me happy, is comfortable with himself and with me, and doesn't have to put too much effort in to have a good time.

[Hazzle]

Originally Posted by DragonRat

Basically, I'm looking for someone that can make me feel good about myself around them. And everyday I am with that person, I am whole, I feel completed. And everyday that I am not with that person, I remind myself of those days that I were. I look for someone to inspire me to better myself as a person. Like a Muse that inspires me to write poetry, I want that certain someone to inspire me in life.

Yeah, feeling..."complete" is what I'm after too...hence I look for someone with whom I..."fit".

[duckula]

I'm looking for an attractive girl I can tolerate for longer than 5 minutes.

[KeirazBabe]

Originally Posted by duckula

I'm looking for an attractive girl I can tolerate for longer than 5 minutes.

You sure you not looking for a girl that can tolerate you me dears? tee hee

xXx

[duckula]

Originally Posted by KeirazBabe

You sure you not looking for a girl that can tolerate you me dears? tee hee

xXx

That too.

[Hazzle]

Originally Posted by duckula

That too.

Oh well...Ducky's single for life then