|26-06-2007, 09:21 PM||#1|
Join Date: Feb 2005
Why God Never Got Tenure
heh, seeing as theres some random religious shite going on atm. I thought i'd post this.
Reasons why God never got tenure;
* Had only one major publication.
* Publication was in obscure languages.
* It had no references.
* It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
* Some doubt authorship.
* It may be true that God created the universe, but what has God done for the program since then?
* God's cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
* Does not participate in departmental committee meetings.
* When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects
* The scientific community has had a hard time replicating God's results.
* Has never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
* When subjects did not behave as predicted, they were deleted from the sample.
* Refuses to grade on the curve...everything is Pass-Fail.
* Rarely comes to class, just tells students to read the Book.
* Some say son teaches the class.
* Expelled first two students for learning too much.
* Although there are only ten course requirements, most students failed test.
* Offices hours are infrequent and usually held on a remote mountaintop.
Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
|26-06-2007, 09:25 PM||#2|
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Dorothyville, USA
|26-06-2007, 09:48 PM||#3|
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Sugar Hill, GA... finally! Civilization!
When you get struck by a bolt of lightning, I don't want to hear any complaining.
"Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham."
I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter.
|26-06-2007, 10:41 PM||#4|
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Traveling the world
my response is in the quote thread
My mother told me every girl wants my body, and moms don't lie.
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