Why God Never Got Tenure

Digital_Ice · 26-06-2007, 08:21 PM

heh, seeing as theres some random religious shite going on atm. I thought i'd post this.

Reasons why God never got tenure;

* Had only one major publication.
* Publication was in obscure languages.
* It had no references.
* It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
* Some doubt authorship.
* It may be true that God created the universe, but what has God done for the program since then?
* God's cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
* Does not participate in departmental committee meetings.
* When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects
* The scientific community has had a hard time replicating God's results.
* Has never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
* When subjects did not behave as predicted, they were deleted from the sample.
* Refuses to grade on the curve...everything is Pass-Fail.
* Rarely comes to class, just tells students to read the Book.
* Some say son teaches the class.
* Expelled first two students for learning too much.
* Although there are only ten course requirements, most students failed test.
* Offices hours are infrequent and usually held on a remote mountaintop.

Mandy · 26-06-2007, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Digital_Ice

* When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects

LMAO. Indeed, that's one of the main reason I've never respected the guy.

hasselbrad · 26-06-2007, 08:48 PM

Roofles.

When you get struck by a bolt of lightning, I don't want to hear any complaining.

Ranman · 26-06-2007, 09:41 PM

my response is in the quote thread

26-06-2007, 08:21 PM	#1
Digital_Ice Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 3,741	Why God Never Got Tenure heh, seeing as theres some random religious shite going on atm. I thought i'd post this. Reasons why God never got tenure; * Had only one major publication. * Publication was in obscure languages. * It had no references. * It wasn't published in a refereed journal. * Some doubt authorship. * It may be true that God created the universe, but what has God done for the program since then? * God's cooperative efforts have been quite limited. * Does not participate in departmental committee meetings. * When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects * The scientific community has had a hard time replicating God's results. * Has never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects. * When subjects did not behave as predicted, they were deleted from the sample. * Refuses to grade on the curve...everything is Pass-Fail. * Rarely comes to class, just tells students to read the Book. * Some say son teaches the class. * Expelled first two students for learning too much. * Although there are only ten course requirements, most students failed test. * Offices hours are infrequent and usually held on a remote mountaintop. __________________ Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man. -- Friedrich Nietzsche

26-06-2007, 08:48 PM	#3
hasselbrad Senior Citizen Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Sugar Hill, GA... finally! Civilization! Posts: 4,590	Roofles. When you get struck by a bolt of lightning, I don't want to hear any complaining. __________________ "Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham." I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter.

26-06-2007, 09:41 PM	#4
Ranman KKW's Therapist Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Traveling the world Posts: 2,065	my response is in the quote thread __________________ My mother told me every girl wants my body, and moms don't lie.

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