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Old 20-06-2007, 03:47 AM   First Class Member Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! KKWiki Contributer Administrator #1
Digital_Ice
 
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McJob Application

This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?

Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?

I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?

I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?

On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?

Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?

Yes Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries
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Old 20-06-2007, 07:40 AM   Senior Registered Member #2
michael22
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Usually just take the free foo and frisbies they hand out with job aplications. Then I mak a paper airplane and hit them with it.
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Old 20-06-2007, 05:12 PM   Senior Registered Member #3
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:icon_eek:

Please tell me the giant "M" fell on top of his head as he entered the place.
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Old 20-06-2007, 07:59 PM   First Class Member #4
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At least they know he has a sense of humor when they hand him his paycheck.
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Old 20-06-2007, 08:17 PM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Administrator #5
Mandy
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Great, I'm craving McDonald's now.
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Old 20-06-2007, 10:30 PM   #6
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Haha, i would hire him .
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Old 21-06-2007, 12:52 PM   #7
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My question is: was he hired as a president or vice president ?
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Old 25-06-2007, 01:28 PM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Senior Registered Member #8
peach
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Atleast he's honest. I wouldn't think anyone who works at Mc Donalds have big plans in staying there for a long time. But maybe he will learn how to be a bit more professional when writing an application next time.
I read on back of the paper that comes with the tray when you go to MC Donalds that it helped young people get a job in the future if they had a summer job or spare time job at MC Donalds.
Perhaps it helps it get a bit closer to his big dreams.
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Old 25-06-2007, 04:45 PM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Senior Registered Member #9
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Most stand-up comics worked in fast food restaurants. It is an absolute gold mine for material.
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