McJob Application

Digital_Ice · 20-06-2007, 03:47 AM

This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida – and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?

Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?

I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?

I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?

On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?

Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?

Yes – Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries

michael22 · 20-06-2007, 07:40 AM

Usually just take the free foo and frisbies they hand out with job aplications. Then I mak a paper airplane and hit them with it.

Porcelain_Doll · 20-06-2007, 05:12 PM

:icon_eek:

Please tell me the giant "M" fell on top of his head as he entered the place.

DanMan · 20-06-2007, 07:59 PM

At least they know he has a sense of humor when they hand him his paycheck.

Mandy · 20-06-2007, 08:17 PM

Great, I'm craving McDonald's now.

Norseman · 20-06-2007, 10:30 PM

Haha, i would hire him

.

mongoose · 21-06-2007, 12:52 PM

My question is: was he hired as a president or vice president ?

peach · 25-06-2007, 01:28 PM

Atleast he's honest. I wouldn't think anyone who works at Mc Donalds have big plans in staying there for a long time. But maybe he will learn how to be a bit more professional when writing an application next time.
I read on back of the paper that comes with the tray when you go to MC Donalds that it helped young people get a job in the future if they had a summer job or spare time job at MC Donalds.
Perhaps it helps it get a bit closer to his big dreams.

hasselbrad · 25-06-2007, 04:45 PM

Most stand-up comics worked in fast food restaurants. It is an absolute gold mine for material.

20-06-2007, 03:47 AM	#1
Digital_Ice Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 3,741	McJob Application This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida – and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE? On the job no, on my breaks yes. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? Yes – Absolutely. SIGN HERE: Aries __________________ Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man. -- Friedrich Nietzsche

20-06-2007, 07:40 AM	#2
michael22 eternally screwed Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 843	Usually just take the free foo and frisbies they hand out with job aplications. Then I mak a paper airplane and hit them with it. __________________ 88 member of the KK posse, A high powered mutant of some kind to weird to live, to rare to die.-Hunter. S. Thompson The concept of wuv confuses and infuriates us -lurgh

20-06-2007, 05:12 PM	#3
Porcelain_Doll little-miss-smut-for-brains Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: River of Painted Birds Posts: 1,429	:icon_eek: Please tell me the giant "M" fell on top of his head as he entered the place. __________________ "There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense." Elizabeth Bennet musings and ramblings, aka: my blog

21-06-2007, 12:52 PM	#7
mongoose Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Romania Posts: 270	My question is: was he hired as a president or vice president ? __________________ Don't argue with idiots. They drag you to theyr level and beat you with experience. MySpace 100+3 member of keira posse

25-06-2007, 04:45 PM	#9
hasselbrad Senior Citizen Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Sugar Hill, GA... finally! Civilization! Posts: 4,590	Most stand-up comics worked in fast food restaurants. It is an absolute gold mine for material. __________________ "Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham." I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter.

20-06-2007, 07:59 PM	#4
DanMan Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Indiana, USA Posts: 209	At least they know he has a sense of humor when they hand him his paycheck.

20-06-2007, 08:17 PM	#5
Mandy Honourary Brit Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Dorothyville, USA Posts: 3,400	Great, I'm craving McDonald's now.

20-06-2007, 10:30 PM	#6
Norseman Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 81	Haha, i would hire him .

25-06-2007, 01:28 PM	#8
peach Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Sweden Posts: 238	Atleast he's honest. I wouldn't think anyone who works at Mc Donalds have big plans in staying there for a long time. But maybe he will learn how to be a bit more professional when writing an application next time. I read on back of the paper that comes with the tray when you go to MC Donalds that it helped young people get a job in the future if they had a summer job or spare time job at MC Donalds. Perhaps it helps it get a bit closer to his big dreams.

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