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Old 08-05-2006, 04:35 AM   #41
Jess
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doesnt matter. none of ur stories are really that interesting to begin with buddy.
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Old 08-05-2006, 07:02 AM   Lifetme Service Award Officer #42
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I'm going to spell it out for you once more. C-o-n-s-t-r-u-c-t-i-v-e. If you just want to bitch, start a PMS thread.
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Old 08-05-2006, 07:30 AM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Administrator #43
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This is starting to become a "oh, everyone else says it sucks so I'll just agree" thread. Because now newcomers are joining in. BE YOUR OWN PERSON.
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Old 09-05-2006, 06:22 AM   Senior Registered Member #44
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You want constructive here goes.

The story reads like a users manual, there is nothing to drag a reader into the story and make them want to read it, needs a hook.

None of the characters show traits that make them interesting, why sympathize or even hate them? They have no dimension to them.

Too much background information, stories should not be like encyclopedia entry's and not everything needs to be revealed at the same time.

Focus on the characters with all the big battle/political stuff happening in the background. My personal preference is stories about people not events.

Too much detail, not everything needs to be described, readers like to create their own visuals in their heads, when every little detail is laid out it reduces some of the joy of reading.



KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE know what the people where you post like to read, if what you post isn't what they normally read do not be surprised by their reactions


For everyones information, I do write for our local theatre group on a regular basis http://www.cloudcrofttheatre.com/CLOC%20History.htm, you'll find my name(Robert Wright) as writer or co-writer of several of the murder mysteries and I write some for the local paper. I am not someone who just dabbles in writing, I do profit a little from it.
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Old 09-05-2006, 06:25 AM   #45
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and and and..rob helped me write a story that i came up with and its being published in a local magazine...what now!!!??? lol. i duno how that is pertinent in any way..but yeah!!!
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Old 09-05-2006, 09:34 AM   Lifetme Service Award Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Retired Administrator #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob The BLack Douglas
For everyones information, I do write for our local theatre group on a regular basis http://www.cloudcrofttheatre.com/CLOC%20History.htm, you'll find my name(Robert Wright) as writer or co-writer of several of the murder mysteries and I write some for the local paper. I am not someone who just dabbles in writing, I do profit a little from it.
Not that I dispute your authority on this topic, but writing narratives for theatre is different to novel-style writing. Novels must spend more time developing characters so the reader can visualise more effectively; with theatre this is done for the audience.

You would hugely increase your right to talk out of your arse on the topic if you posted some links or scans of your published work. People could then judge your writing skills for themselves.
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Old 09-05-2006, 03:29 PM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liam
Not that I dispute your authority on this topic, but writing narratives for theatre is different to novel-style writing. Novels must spend more time developing characters so the reader can visualise more effectively; with theatre this is done for the audience.

You would hugely increase your right to talk out of your arse on the topic if you posted some links or scans of your published work. People could then judge your writing skills for themselves.
In fairness to Rob, I have read some of his work and it is very good.
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Old 09-05-2006, 07:17 PM   Lifetme Service Award Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Retired Administrator #48
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Nobody else has though.

I'm not trying to be an arse about it, I just think this whole argument would be a lot more fair if people could judge his writing for themselves.
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Old 09-05-2006, 11:57 PM   Senior Registered Member #49
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Not to sound like a dick to you Liam but i've read a couple of Rob's stories and thought that they were very good.
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Old 10-05-2006, 12:02 AM   KKWiki Contributer Senior Registered Member #50
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Well Liam we proved one thing, Swordsman's an idiot
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Old 10-05-2006, 12:09 AM   #51
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Originally Posted by Ranman
Well Liam we proved one thing, Swordsman's an idiot
*scratches head*

Did I miss something? I agree with him that Rob is a very good writer and his comments/critiques of my writing make good sense.
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Old 10-05-2006, 12:56 AM   Senior Registered Member #52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liam
Not that I dispute your authority on this topic, but writing narratives for theatre is different to novel-style writing. Novels must spend more time developing characters so the reader can visualise more effectively; with theatre this is done for the audience.

You would hugely increase your right to talk out of your arse on the topic if you posted some links or scans of your published work. People could then judge your writing skills for themselves.

There's a ton of material in the gallery, not my fault if you haven't see any of it.

Rob
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Old 10-05-2006, 12:59 AM   Senior Registered Member #53
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Oooo, sorry to crush your boner Ranman by having an opinion.
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Old 10-05-2006, 01:21 AM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Administrator #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob The BLack Douglas
There's a ton of material in the gallery, not my fault if you haven't see any of it.

Rob
Yeah but if he's anything like me, he can't be fucked reading a shitload of story on a computer screen. If I'm going to read something, it's in a published book.
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Old 10-05-2006, 01:42 AM   #55
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Originally Posted by Mandy
Yeah but if he's anything like me, he can't be fucked reading a shitload of story on a computer screen. If I'm going to read something, it's in a published book.
The problem is that its very hard to get published and it doesn't matter if you're a good writer. You need a lot of connections. If we could published (thus making money), would we really post our stuff for free on a public website?
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Old 10-05-2006, 02:00 AM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Administrator #56
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My point is, I only take the time to read what is guaranteed to be DECENT writing.

Not saying Rob is a bad writer, I'm saying that I haven't read any of his stuff to determine whether he's a good writer.

I was also directing this statement towards the fact that Rob has posted his stories in the gallery, but I'm just not the kind to sit for hours reading a computer screen.

I'm also not all hyped about reading fan-fiction. I understand there's also non fan-fiction, but ahh well. Still can't be fucked.

It hurts me to read long posts let alone stories.


^^^^^^
Even this one is freaking me out a little.
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Old 10-05-2006, 06:49 AM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Administrator #57
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Yes I am double posting. I just read a part of one of Rob's fan fiction stories in the gallery. Do British people really use "mate" in just about every single sentence? And did a monkey proof read your story? No wait, a monkey could probably do better.

I dont see how you can have all this pride with yourself and display your "work," knowing there are SO many spelling and grammatical problems. I just ran a paragraph through spell check and my computer shat itself.

So yeah....nsper, more power to ya.
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Old 10-05-2006, 06:51 AM   Lifetme Service Award Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Retired Administrator #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob The BLack Douglas
There's a ton of material in the gallery, not my fault if you haven't see any of it.

Rob
I've read some of your material that was posted in the gallery, yes. I don't consider myself a writer per se, so I didn't feel it prudent of me to comment on style. However, was any of that published? Did you make profit from any of it? If so, could you class it as 'making a living'?

To be bluntly honest, and I've now given up trying to tread lightly around the subject as you seem to have decided not to afford me the same courtesy, the praise of a few young people (themselves not qualified to call themselves writers) on an internet forum does not a qualified author/playwright/poet make. Thats like calling myself a graphic artist when all I have done is created a few well received 'skins' for games and knocked up a few pretty websites. Its a crock, plain and simple.

I pulled this line at random from one of your posts:
"Jaime peered around the corner towards Keira's trialer the box of chocolates nervously clutched in his hands. Finally the door of the trialer opened and out stepped Keira all ready for her next scene."

Its 'trailer', not trialer. There should be a comma after the first trialer. There should be another one after 'Keira' in the second sentence. Your post is dotted with punctuation and spelling errors. There is no need for a new paragraph every two sentences. Questions don't have question marks. The word 'mate' is horribly overused. The story itself reads like a typical 16 year old's quest to fulfil all the testosterone fuelled fantasies he lacks the cojones to contemplate in the real world. Violent fist fight scene? Check. Passionate snog with beautiful woman? Check. Are you 16?

For starters, dont develop an attitude with anyone if you are still writing fan fiction, cause thats laughable. Second, you should ensure your writing is at least punctuated correctly and put through a spell checker before you go mouthing off criticising other people's work (which incidentally, was far better in those departments than yours.)
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Old 10-05-2006, 07:22 AM   Lifetme Service Award Officer #59
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If any of your "poetry" got published, could you please tell me who publishes that kind of stuff? I think I may have a shot at being published after all. Poetry isn't a bunch of words chucked together cause they sound nice and form one long adverbial sentence with odd line breaks.

I mean, more power to you if you manage to get that stuff published, you obviously slept with the boss or something, but sweet jesus, don't go assuming you know everything there is to know about writing if what you quote as an example of your work is that shite in the gallery. There's a reason I never commented on it. I didn't want to be rude. Clearly, you don't feel the same way about other people's attempts to produce writing, so I thought I'd give you a taste of your own medicine (and I could start summing up my credentials, but yeah... can't really be bothered).
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Old 10-05-2006, 07:43 AM   Senior Registered Member #60
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I want him to keep posting this stuff....
I don't know why, though. I haven't actually read any of it. I just like the idea of it.
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