Articles Archive

[Pearl]

What does he care? He looks like exactly like Orlando but with shaggier eyebrows. I bet Keira can't tell them apart and thought she was kissing Rupert when she was really kissing Orlando.

[Digital_Ice]

From todays Sun newspaper;

Slinky, Kinky Keira
Keira Knightley claims she loves dressing up in kinky clothes for sex. Well, she's hardly going to disclose to journalists she wears an old winceyette nightie and tells boyfreind Rupert to "pull it down, love, when your finished" now is she? Methinks the lady doth protest too much. Actresses dressing up for sex is a busman's holiday. They spend their entire working lives being sewn into uncomfortable outfits, laced into corsets and buttoned into crinolines. the last thing they dream of doing for fun is dressing up. They play French maids and policewomen at work - and get paid for it. Why on earth would they do the same at home for free? Keira, eat a cake and stop winding us up.

"Keira, eat a cake and stop winding us up." - heh, i love it

[Hazzle]

Originally Posted by Pearl

thought she was kissing Rupert when she was really kissing Orlando.

More likely the other way round.

[Pearl]

Atleast we know she's not a virgin.

[michael22]

only very sad people are virgins after 18.........
edit: (I should be one to talk)

[Digital_Ice]

MOVIE REVIEW: 'Pirates of Caribbean' sequel walks plank
'Dead Man's Chest': Plotless, essentially characterless and purposeless
By Robert W. Butler
McClatchy Newspapers

Hollywood's smart guys predicted producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Gore Verbinski were sailing into disaster with 2003's "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl."

After all, no swashbuckling pirate movie had made money since the 1950s. It was a film based on a theme park ride, for Pete's sake, and was cast mostly with unknowns - except for Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush, neither of whom ever had starred in a monster hit.

We know how that turned out. "Black Pearl" grossed $340 million, buoyed by its pirates-as-ghost-story plot, endless special effects and especially by Depp's off-the-deep-end performance as the gloriously fey Captain Jack Sparrow.

Here's the weird part: The "Pirates" sequel, "Dead Man's Chest," is precisely the disaster they were expecting from the first movie.

Plotless, essentially characterless and purposeless (unless you count the desire to make a load of money), the second "Pirates" (a third already has been filmed) has been beautifully shot, impeccably edited and is a veritable master class in technical craftsmanship.

It also makes no sense, is leadenly paced, has only a handful of so-so laughs and chronically mistakes big for better.

Painfully self-indulgent, it runs for 2½ hours and feels like an endless version of the theme park ride that inspired it. Worse, it's open-ended. To see how it's resolved, you have to go to the next installment scheduled for release next spring.

The plot? Well, as far as I can tell it involves Jack Sparrow's efforts to recover a chest that contains the heart of Davy Jones. Yes, that Davy Jones, the demonic ruler of the sea and scourge of sailors. As played by Bill Nighy, Jones is the squid-faced captain of the Flying Dutchman and presides over a crew of condemned seamen's souls.

Apparently, Jones holds a note for Jack Sparrow's soul as well, and our mincing hero figures that if he can destroy Davy Jones' heart, he can escape his grim fate.

Also involved in the chase are Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley), whose wedding is delayed by their arrests on charges that they helped Jack escape His Majesty's justice in the first movie. Their happy future depends upon their returning Jack to justice.

The wildly episodic screenplay by Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio features sequences that never quite coherently mesh. There's a long passage in which Jack is hailed as a king by a tribe of cannibals, another in which Will discovers that his late father (a barnacle-encrusted Stellan Skarsgard) is one of the enslaved crewmen of the Flying Dutchman, a segment in which Elizabeth hitches a ride on a merchantman by disguising herself as a boy.

Periodically we are treated to attacks by the kracken, a huge tentacled sea beast that at Davy Jones' command pulls entire ships down into the depths. There's a big battle with this brute; it serves mostly to allow the special-effects guys a chance to show off. After a while, all the hacking and crashing becomes wearisome.

Knightley and Bloom are reduced to blandness. Depp, meanwhile, is saddled with a joyless script that requires him to work overtime to come up with a few amusing moments. (Comedy doesn't work if you can see them straining to be funny).

Mostly, this is a runaround movie. Everyone runs over here. Then, they turn around and run over there.

Verbinski's direction suggests he's bored with the whole enterprise. Even his love of outsized machines (remember the fight in the blacksmith shop in the first movie?) feels muted and perfunctory. There's a sequence in which Jack Sparrow's crew is imprisoned by cannibals in a giant wicker ball hanging over a chasm; they escape by using their cage as an oversized hamster ball and rolling to freedom. Then, there's a sword fight atop a giant water wheel careening through the jungle.

Sad to say, those scenes are more fun to envision than to actually watch. Moments that should fill us with delight simply sit there.

Despite its glossy look and masterful special effects, "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" is a bad movie. Fans deserved better.

http://www.grandforks.com/mld/grandf...t/14992670.htm

Johnny Depp Opens Huge: 'Pirates' Number One of All Time?
By Cris Bergman
Jul 8, 2006

Superman Returns never had a chance. The industry buzz for weeks has been that Johnny Depp and the gang of 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest' would open with huge numbers. But some believed that the run time of well over two hours may make it more difficult.

But LA Weekly's Nikki Finke reveals that her sources are saying that Depp and company may blow Spidey's all-time record - how would you say - out of the water.

***

Finke reports:

I'm told already that, based on today's matinees, Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest will have the biggest opening of any movie in history.

Since May 24th, Finke has been predicting that it was gonna kill everything at the theaters this summer, and then, based on the early tracking, that it was going to be the all-time record-breaker. Now Pirates 2 is set to steal away Spiderman's No. 1 opening gross of $114.8 million.

***

Nikki reports that she has been told the movie could take in $45+ million more on Friday if the shows from (Thursday) night are included in the total. Right now, matinees are headed that way.

***

Friday's full numbers will leak out today (Saturday) and that should give a more complete picture, but Finke seems to get these predictions right quite often.

Can Depp, Orlando and Keira take home the all-time Hollywood number one box office booty?

It seems very likely.

http://www.nationalledger.com/artman...27266919.shtml

Depp, 'Dead Man's Chest' seaworthy despite some leaks
By Barry Caine, STAFF WRITER

THE PIRATE ALPHABET: "Aaaaaa!" "Aye!" "Arrrrr!"

Michael Nesmith, the coolest Monkee, paraded the concept in his classic video "Elephant Parts."

Pirates are ripe for satire.

Check out the hyper-coarse cuttroats in old swashbucklers such as "The Black Pirate" and "Blackbeard."

Even the sea-going rapscallions in "Treasure Island" are exaggerated, although what real pirates sounded like is anybody's guess.

("Oh Captain, my captain, would you be so kind as to share some of that lovely booty?")

Director Gore Verbinski and his like-minded writers milked 2003's "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" for as much pirate silliness as they could, while making sure to leave plenty for its sequels.

In "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest," remnants of the pirate alphabet pop up throughout the dialogue. In fact, some of the "aye"-ing and "arrrr"-ing scenes get so over-the-top that the picture resembles a kids-oriented comic book — or the theme-park ride that inspired the "Pirate" films.

The sequel absolutely refuses to take itself seriously, which is what you want in a Grade-B popcorn movie.

For instance, Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) uses nonsense syllables and baby talk with cannibals. When he says, "Lum, lum, eensie weensie," they jump. (And people got paid good money to write that.)

In "Dead Man's Chest," Depp puts more swash into his inept, swashbuckling pirate captain, especially during his runs along beaches.

The comedy grows broader with sight gags such as a sword fight atop a runaway wheel.

The lampooning should keep kids in the crowd hanging with the humor rather than the horror. Long-dead, barnacle-clad crew members drip seaweed, tentacles and goo. A monstrous sea creature swallows what it wants without bothering to carefully chew each piece.

The dastardly denizens appear when it's time for Jack to pay his debt to legendary Davy Jones (Bill Nighy with a face of writhing tentacles) to avoid enternal damnation.

Elsewhere, newcomer Lord Beckett (Tom Hollander) threatens to execute Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and his fiancee Elizabeth (Keira Knightley), Jack's cohorts in the original.

Only Will's finding Jack and taking Jack's mystical compass will save them from the gallows.

The land-based scenes with Beckett et al numb the story.

Granted the need for exposition — and enough plot threads to set up next year's sequel — but dull is dull even in pirate lingo. ("Aye, ptooie!")

The film perks up when Knightley's on screen as feisty Elizabeth, wielding a sword and flirting with Jack. Their scenes sizzle.

Bloom is more charismatic than in the original. Maybe he learned from the criticism levied at his tepid portrayal in "Kingdom of Heaven."

The heroic trio breathes life into its the encounters with enemies old and new during the quest for happily ever after.

At more than two hours, "Dead Man's Chest" is about as long as the original, but it feels longer.

Director Verbinski keeps a tight ship, then he lets go of the wheel and allows the film to drift with the currents. By the end, it drags.

On the other hand, the picture contains many entertaining parts along with its appealingly bemused narrative. And the visuals look terrific.

Despite the flaws, "Pirates" is colorful and funny. Aye, and for a couple of hours, it whisks you away from the heat and into a world of cool winds, choppy seas and giddy adventure.

Aye! Arrrrrrr!

http://www.insidebayarea.com/business/ci_4022999

[kingdumbass]

Keira to Take A Break From Acting?

I've seen this on other sites, as well, besides The Sun:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,5-2006310460,00.html

Keira has revealed she is terrified she will end up hating her job if she carries on with her hectic filming schedule. With a string of successful movies and an Oscar nomination under her belt, Keira yearns to spend more time with her family and go travelling.

She says: “I know I’ve been like a workaholic and I really don’t have time for much.

“My greatest fear is that I’ll wake up at 50 and will have worked a lot but won’t have lived.

“The last five years have blended into one. I can’t tell you what was last year and what was the year before. It’s just been one big, long, film set.

“In some ways that is wonderful. I love my job. I really love what I do.

“But I’m quite frightened that if I continue at that rate I will start to hate what I love.

“I don’t want that to happen. So I think I need to step back and do a sort of sabbatical, go away and learn a bit more then come back. Then, hopefully, I’ll have moved on to the next step, whatever that is.”

A good idea, although I wonder how long of a break she's talking about.

[Hazzle]

Good idea for Keira. But there's no way a POTC sequel designed to be even sillier than the original deserves to nick Spiderman's stop spot, when that was actually a good film, not just merely entertaining, but actually quite clever.

[Pearl]

Keira should just stop taking every role that is offered to her. I think she'll find that once she just selects roles here and there, the work load won't be as big and she'll have more time to rest.

[marilynka]

Believe me she is not taking every role.

[Pearl]

Really? What I read in a few interviews she said she's afraid 'not' to take every role she's offered for fear of the work will stop coming. She said that she fights for roles if anything. I only ever heard of her turning down one role and that was for a Bond Girl. She said she turned it down becuase she didn't have the right body for it.

What other roles did she turn down?

[iii]

Originally Posted by Pearl

Really? What I read in a few interviews she said she's afraid 'not' to take every role she's offered for fear of the work will stop coming. She said that she fights for roles if anything. I only ever heard of her turning down one role and that was for a Bond Girl. She said she turned it down becuase she didn't have the right body for it.

What other roles did she turn down?

'Cos that's the only film mentioned so far. She may have turned down several projects, which are not reported in the media.

Personally, I think she's doing fine with her current state of filming. After all, she's still young.

[kingdumbass]

Another Keira vacation article:

Knightley makes plans for a gap year

Wednesday, July 12 2006, 02:03 BST - by Susanna Regan

Keira Knightley is planning to take a year out from acting to travel because she is sick of working so intensively.

The actress has recently been promoting the second Pirates of the Caribbean movie in between working on the third installment of the franchise and another film based on an Ian McEwan novel.

Recently she told WENN: "Last weekend I worked 32 hours straight promoting Pirates of the Caribbean, and the weekend before too. I really need some time off. Even my parents think I need a break."

Now it seems the star is making serious plans to do so with her boyfriend Rupert Friend.

A source revealed: "She wants to go really low-key and do the whole backpacking thing. She has spoken to Rupert about it and he seems quite keen too."

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/article/ds34777.html

A whole YEAR? DAMN, woman. Also, who wants to bet that she returns from her year off with a mysteriously enlarged bust, and tries to blame it on weight gain or something else laughably false? Still, a nice vacation is never a bad idea.

Oh, and by the way, US Magazine has put Keira and Kate Bosworth on this week's cover. The story? You guessed it -- Anorexia. Bastards.

[michael22]

have more faith dumbass. She deserves a year off, everyone in my opinion should stop and take a look around at everything. bt hopefully she does not go against her recent statements and A get implants or B marry Rupert.

I just think it is a damn shame we will see less of her.

edit: sorry for the large amount of obscene language

[Hazzle]

Originally Posted by michael22

edit: sorry for the large amount of obscene language

Fuck me you call that obscene?! Jeebus christ on a motherfucking plane.

[Digital_Ice]

'd*mn' and 'dumb*ss'

I'm shocked... really shocked. Now I'm no prude. I swear all the time... but language like that is just uncalled for....

[Hazzle]

Oh now I see. Thanks for that Ice.

Yeah Mike, what the fuck do you think you're doing swearing like that you cunt?

[Pearl]

Keira is wasting her youth working constantly. Maybe that's why she's gotten so sickly skinny lately. R&R is just what she needs right about now. Plus she has the money to live it up for the next five years. So why not?

PALMDALE, Calif., July 16 (UPI) -- The city of Palmdale, Calif., may have produced the space shuttle fleet, but two published reports have made it sound more like a wasteland.

The Los Angeles Daily News said the city, known for its aircraft production, was the target of two verbal jabs from British actress Keira Knightley and journalist Jeremy Clarkson.

The first came in a July 6 interview Knightley gave with Futuremovies.co.uk in which she discussed filming the third "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie in Palmdale.

"It's known for its meth labs, and it's not really the prettiest place on Earth, but apparently they've built some amazing sets there," she said. "So the location isn't going to be the Caribbean or the Bahamas."

That comment was followed by Clarkson's piece last Sunday in which he wrote of his experiences in various U.S. cities.

"Palmdale in California and Biloxi in Mississippi are nigh on identical," Clarkson said. "They have the same horrible restaurants. The same mall. The same interstate (highway) drone." He wrote on The Times of London Web site, "Live in either for more than a week and you'd be stabbing your own eyes with knitting needles."

What the hell? I'm from Palmdale, Palmdale was just a military place for a long time.To talk about a city you dont know anything about and just say it just has alot of meth labs and crap,that's just saying Fuck you, to all your fans out here.. If you think Palmdale is that bad go to Area 51 and see what's out there.

[runangl]

no... she's not saying f**k you to all the fans in palmdale. think about it sensibly... palmdale or the caribbean?? where would YOU rather be?

i'll openly admit that redlands isn't the most wonderful place in the world, and the smog is absolutely shit. i wouldn't be in the least upset if keira bagged on redlands. in fact, it'd be pretty cool that she mentioned it at all.