Room/Housemate Funnies

[hasselbrad]

It's also hard to tell whether she's being murdered or having a good time.

I got a sweater for Christmas.
I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
**rimshot**

[Liam]

Originally Posted by hasselbrad

I got a sweater for Christmas.
I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
**rimshot**

Thats better luck than one of the blokes at work. His wife and kids got him nicotine patches. Best Christmas ever, I'd imagine. He is already sick at the thought of this years 'gift'.

On topic: When I was living in the Netherlands, I stayed in a house with 19 French exchange students. Extreme hilarity ensued.

[Kelsey]

Originally Posted by acliff

And Kels, you're going to Luuuurve college.

Thing is, I won*t be living in dorms during college because I have to bring my cat, and I don*t want a roomate. If I get my dream job with the actress, then I can afford to live on my own in L.A. If not, then I don*t know what I*ll do....start looking for someone I won*t hate after an hour.

[acliff]

Originally Posted by Kelsey

Thing is, I won*t be living in dorms during college because I have to bring my cat, and I don*t want a roomate. If I get my dream job with the actress, then I can afford to live on my own in L.A. If not, then I don*t know what I*ll do....start looking for someone I won*t hate after an hour.

Live with someone really really ugly with no social skills. No disturbance there. Maybe a computer gamer into MMORPGs. Anyone who plays WoW post applications below.

(If you know what the acronyms mean, you're automatically in aformentioned group)

[marine]

Originally Posted by Liam

Thats better luck than one of the blokes at work. His wife and kids got him nicotine patches. Best Christmas ever, I'd imagine. He is already sick at the thought of this years 'gift'.

On topic: When I was living in the Netherlands, I stayed in a house with 19 French exchange students. Extreme hilarity ensued.

exemples, please?

[Kelsey]

If they sit on their ass all day without doing anything, that would bug me. I had an almost-stepsister like that. Would lay on the couch all day being dumbed down by Cartoon Network, drinking Pepsi out of the two-liter bottle.

[Alendor]

It seems that I have something to look forward to next year. I'm taking a year off at the moment. So next fall it will be European film college, university or something third that will suddenly appear for me. The first two will probably include me having room-mates :err:
But I survived two sexual active friends(who were dating eachother) hwen I had to spend a week with them in Norway. But then again I delibaterely avoided their room when I saw that the door was closed and she was quiet..............he wasn't.

[acliff]

Originally Posted by Kelsey

If they sit on their ass all day without doing anything, that would bug me. I had an almost-stepsister like that. Would lay on the couch all day being dumbed down by Cartoon Network, drinking Pepsi out of the two-liter bottle.

Sounds very much like heaven to me...

[hasselbrad]

Originally Posted by acliff

Sounds very much like heaven to me...

Damn Cliff, you should move to Appalachia, get a single wide and a great big satellite dish. You'd fit right in.

[Neras]

Originally Posted by Alendor

It seems that I have something to look forward to next year.

I have to say that not all accommodation is like that. My first year at uni was fine. The guy in the flat next to me never showed any interest in sex at all, and the guy next to him had a long-distance girlfriend, so they were hardly ever together.

[qzx00]

Luckilly I've never had the loud roommate but mine was just as bad. I was constantly coming home to them going at it on the coffee table, out on the deck, on the kitchen counter, they just didn't care. So just when you thought it was bad hearing your roommate, try seeing them.

[Kelsey]

Originally Posted by hasselbrad

Damn Cliff, you should move to Appalachia, get a single wide and a great big satellite dish. You'd fit right in.

Oooh, gross.

*Hick.*
*We prefer Appalachian-American.*

[acliff]

Story number 2: The Dressing-gown of Doom

This aformentioned housemate of horror(tm) was a sloth. He tried to hide it, but he was basically ginger. We found out in a pretty horrible way...

The story begins when we first start living as a group. After bickerings about food, partially due to HoH's complete lack of taste, failed shopping trips, horribly cokked dinners, and me and Duckula's fairly refined eating habits, we decided not to cook together. Around about that time, we began to notice that HoH seemed to be always wearing his dressing gown.
He didn't go to lectures, he didn't do any work, he just went out in the evenings, adding to his considerable bulk in alcohol fat, slept till 4pm, and roamed around the house in this goddamn dressing gown for a couple of hours, before going to the 'dungeon' a rock club which was about as dirty as the name suggests.

Now we did not ONCE see him wash this dressing gown. Confirmed by the fact that it started stinking really really bad. Considering he went to the bog in it, I have the sneaky suspicion that he wipes his arse on it. It certainly smells like he has. He went to the shower with it, he came out the shower with it, he cooked in it, he sat on the sofa in it...

After a while, there was only so much I could cope with, and I told him to wash it, or we would burn it. To show how incredibly lazy he was, he didn't actually wash it, instead he stopped wearing it. Which, you might think, is a bonus. Very unforunately for us, that meant that he came out the shower topless. I will never be able to burn those images from my brain. A great big folded red mass of spots and fat, with ginger tufts. *shiver*

Anyways I thank christ I wasn't the one who walked in on him jerking off...

[duckula]

For the record, I wasn't the poor unfortunate mentioned above (thank all that is holy).

[hasselbrad]

My first roommate slept in his tighty whities and never washed his sheets. By the end of the semester, his sheets looked like a giant pair of his underwear with an enormous skid mark.
Another roommate of mine finally broke down and took his laundry to a laundromat near campus that washed, dried and folded your clothes for $0.50 a pound. (God, what a bargain!) The sweet little old lady that worked there asked me about him. She said his bill was over $200 and that many of the shirts were still pinned. This is the same roommate whose method of moving out consisted of taking all of the things he really wanted out and then kicking everything else into the middle of the room in a trash pile...which often included clothes...and reeked of spilled bongwater.

[meegaan1]

Well, this just happened to me today, and I thought of this thread.
I wake up this morning and go to the bathroom to do my business. I flip the toilet seat up and find it full to the brim with water and a turd. It wasn't me, so of course, must've been one of the other occupants. I search for the plunger and can't find it, so I leave it till and I can find the plunger, and go to do errands for a few hours.
I come back later, find the plunger in the basement, and plunge the toilet. Water gets all over the floor, so I clean that up and disinfect that with some 409, and then pick up the towles to go and wash them in the basement.
I walk into the washroom and find half of it covered in water, so now I have to mop all that up. I have to use a comforter and ten towels to soak up all the water.

[Neras]

I have my own bathroom this year. Definitely has its benefits...

[meegaan1]

I have another one. Yes, I'm a nerd and have no life. This didn't happen to me, but it happened to my sister. We'll call my brother-in-law Bob.
The night before their wedding, my sister and now brother-in-law are in Las Vegas, and they both go to a stripper club and do some heavy drinking. When they get back to Bob's brother's apartment, Bob pukes on my sister's dog and then passes out.
I love my brother-in-law.

Originally Posted by Neras

I have my own bathroom this year. Definitely has its benefits...

Thank you for mocking me.

[Neras]

I felt that it needed to be done...

This year I have a flatmate who has no idea what the term 'volume' means... He puts his music (rap, hip hop, etc) on at stupid times at full volume. I've asked him to keep it down, but he just ignores me. So now, whenever he puts his music on, I deafen myself by using my PC to play Metallica at full volume.

He's either going to keep his volume down or attack me soon. I'm not sure which...

[Leonie]

Originally Posted by Neras

I felt that it needed to be done...

This year I have a flatmate who has no idea what the term 'volume' means... He puts his music (rap, hip hop, etc) on at stupid times at full volume. I've asked him to keep it down, but he just ignores me. So now, whenever he puts his music on, I deafen myself by using my PC to play Metallica at full volume.

He's either going to keep his volume down or attack me soon. I'm not sure which...

Oh, I have audio battles all the time. Best bit being that my little speakers make as much noise as the ones he spent a fortune on. Win.

Bloke nextdoor from me likes to play all sorts of random music at all sorts of random hours of the day, preferably with both the frontdoor and the door that leads into the hallway inside wide open. This is were playing Sunburn at obscene volumes comes in. There's no beating that and he knows it. He generally turns it down after a 'subtle' hint like that.