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Relationships & Sexuality Advice? I-Told-You-So's? Confusion? Rabid Parents? Stick it in here and smoke it. Boys welcome too!

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Old 10-01-2005, 08:06 PM   #1
MeggieHoops
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Grr...



Why do men always say one thing and then turn around and do something completely opposite?

My friend Jon, for example, told me that he was practically in love with me and will always be there for me. About 3 days later, he stops calling, texting, and IMing me for no reason whatsoever. I am POSITIVE that I did not do anything to provoke this. I've talked to him about it, and he said that he wouldn't do it again. But did he? Of course.

And my boyfriend, he constantly tells me that he would NEVER do anything to hurt me. And yet he compares me to other girls (girls he used to like, I might add), makes me feel stupid, and then yells and swears at me when I retaliate.

I could name at least 3 other men in my life that have done similar things to me.

I just don't fucking get it.

I realize that this is the "girl's" part of the forum, but men, PLEASE attempt to explain to me why you act like this.
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Old 10-01-2005, 08:10 PM   #2
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sorry, i can't help you
never been in love before => dunno why we do it
but i'm sure not all men are like that, i think there are also men that don't do that.
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Old 10-01-2005, 08:22 PM   Senior Registered Member #3
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Are you dating or being friends with all similar kinds of guys? It sort of sounds like all of these guys are similar. Find new guys, look for new things in the men. Even if they aren't cute or anything, there's things you become attracted to in people after you spend time with them. I'm not saying you do the opposite of what I just said...I'm just throwing it out there.
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Old 10-01-2005, 08:22 PM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Senior Registered Member #4
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It's not limited to the male of the species. I am going through the same thing right now. I've been dating this woman for almost a month, but there are these strange (and rather disturbing) "communication gaps".
I made plans for us to go out on New Year's Eve and called to let her know on the 30th. We had discussed it and she seemed to be up for anything. I talked to her at lunch and she was with someone so she said she'd call me back. Didn't, so I left messages and figured that she and some of her coworkers had gone out for drinks after work. Also, my daughter was down from the ATL and she was keeping a bit of distance. Next thing I hear from her is a text message on my phone that she's just gotten out of the hospital (she has a problem with her diaphragm) and that she'd call me back. Called an hour later and told me all about it. I cancelled arrangements (on Friday) and then didn't hear from her again until Monday night. I was worried sick, even to the point of calling hospitals, because of what she had already told me.
Met for coffee and a bit of shopping Thursday night, and haven't been able to get in touch with her since. I figure she'll call again tonight and act like it's no big deal. Or, I'll never talk to her again.
God I love dating.
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Old 10-01-2005, 09:28 PM   Lifetme Service Award Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Retired Administrator #5
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Meg, I recommend going out with Jacoby, he wont mess you around.
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Old 10-01-2005, 09:44 PM   Senior Registered Member #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeggieHoops


Why do men always say one thing and then turn around and do something completely opposite?

My friend Jon, for example, told me that he was practically in love with me and will always be there for me. About 3 days later, he stops calling, texting, and IMing me for no reason whatsoever. I am POSITIVE that I did not do anything to provoke this. I've talked to him about it, and he said that he wouldn't do it again. But did he? Of course.

And my boyfriend, he constantly tells me that he would NEVER do anything to hurt me. And yet he compares me to other girls (girls he used to like, I might add), makes me feel stupid, and then yells and swears at me when I retaliate.

I could name at least 3 other men in my life that have done similar things to me.

I just don't fucking get it.

I realize that this is the "girl's" part of the forum, but men, PLEASE attempt to explain to me why you act like this.

1 of the 3 men that have done similar things to you reporting for duty.

the first dude probably realized what he was doing probably wasn't the right thing to do if you weren't returning the favor and is spacing himself from you to help himself fix the problem. he doesn't want you to think anything's wrong because that'll upset you, so he says what he can to get you off his back. give him a little space. he'll come around when he's ready. this is about when he's ready, not when you want him to be ready.
i've done this to people before and it's my way of letting myself get over someone. there needs to be 'alone time' of sorts, so just don't bother him about it. it's like putting butter on a burn.

as for hazzle, he needs to become less defensive and ditch the hoiler than thou attitude. his aggressive actions speak louder than the 'romantic' words he's always throwing at you when he's in a good mood. look at the actions, don't listen to the words. oh, and he has a temper problem. he ought to get that looked at.
i can't say i've ever intentionally made someone feel dumb then had the genius idea to yell at them when they take offense, but if for some reason i did, i'd probably soon lose that relationship because i'm too much of a dumbass to realize what i'm doing. in any event, he needs to snap out of a few things right quick or he'll be even further up shit creek without his proverbial paddle.
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Old 10-01-2005, 09:54 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ryan
1 of the 3 men that have done similar things to you reporting for duty.
Hehe, so what's YOUR reasoning for confusing the hell out of me?

Anyways...thanks for the advice so far peoples.
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Old 10-01-2005, 09:57 PM   Senior Registered Member #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeggieHoops
Hehe, so what's YOUR reasoning for confusing the hell out of me?

Anyways...thanks for the advice so far peoples.
I have my reasons and my reasons are my own.

Besides, I don't think I confuse you all that much.
I fear the anal KKW staff may once again yell at me if I continue this 'conversation' in a casual manner, so I'll just end this post.
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Old 10-01-2005, 11:32 PM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Moderator #9
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A wise move.

Meggiehoops, if the men treat you like this then sever contact and try to be a better judge of character in the future. Also, it is worth noting that you are the common denominator here.
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Old 11-01-2005, 12:11 AM   Senior Registered Member #10
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Dump them all!
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Old 11-01-2005, 12:19 AM   #11
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talk is cheap. ryan is rite. look at the actions, don't listen to the words. some guys are just talkers. words come out casually and freely and high chance they don't even remember what they have said. so take it easy.
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Old 11-01-2005, 01:15 AM   Senior Registered Member #12
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Sry, can't help you there. I usually do what I say.
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Old 11-01-2005, 02:34 AM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Administrator #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ryan

as for hazzle, he needs to become less defensive and ditch the hoiler than thou attitude. his aggressive actions speak louder than the 'romantic' words he's always throwing at you when he's in a good mood. look at the actions, don't listen to the words. oh, and he has a temper problem. he ought to get that looked at.

He also needs to move out and get a life, job, place of his own...etc, but that's not really the point of this reply.

One thing I've learned, online relationships never work. Especially when they're in a different country and there's a slim chance of actually meeting them. If you've met them already, it's a different story. But then again, meeting someone for five minutes and deciding that you're soulmates doesn't exactly work either.I know he's supposed to go to New York or whatever, but I think it'd be best to wait until he actually lives there and there's a better chance of the relationship surviving. It's better to talk things out face to face than on the internet or on the phone, anyway.

Internet relationships only get you hurt.
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Old 11-01-2005, 02:39 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandy
He also needs to move out and get a life, job, place of his own...etc, but that's not really the point of this reply.

One thing I've learned, online relationships never work. Especially when they're in a different country and there's a slim chance of actually meeting them. If you've met them already, it's a different story. But then again, meeting someone for five minutes and deciding that you're soulmates doesn't exactly work either.I know he's supposed to go to New York or whatever, but I think it'd be best to wait until he actually lives there and there's a better chance of the relationship surviving. It's better to talk things out face to face than on the internet or on the phone, anyway.

Internet relationships only get you hurt.
True that. We kinda sorta just called things off. :err:

Just to make things clear, this thread wasn't about him completely, so can everyone take their negative attitudes about him and shove them back up their ass? Thanks.
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Old 11-01-2005, 03:13 AM   Senior Registered Member #15
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It was also about Ryan.
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Old 11-01-2005, 03:18 AM   Senior Registered Member #16
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Sweet, I drive Meggiehoops bonkers without actually talking to her
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Old 11-01-2005, 03:37 AM   Senior Registered Member #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deviljet88
It was also about Ryan.
don't drag me into this...

Quote:
Originally Posted by deviljet88
Sweet, I drive Meggiehoops bonkers without actually talking to her
try talking to her then see how nuts you drive her...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Meggiehoops
No, it wasn't.

It was about how ALL men are pieces of shit who never do what they say. And it drives me bonkers.
now now, not all of us are like that. as far as i know, i always do as i say regarding you.
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Old 11-01-2005, 03:45 AM   #18
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now now, not all of us are like that. as far as i know, i always do as i say regarding you.
Mm, maybe. But you change your mind about how you feel about me so often that it's hard to keep track.
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Old 11-01-2005, 05:33 AM   Lifetme Service Award Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Retired Administrator #19
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If you've met them already, it's a different story. But then again, meeting someone for five minutes blah blah blah
If thats directed at me, I'm touched by your concern. Ta.
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Old 11-01-2005, 05:36 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeggieHoops
No, it wasn't.

It was about how ALL men are pieces of shit who never do what they say. And it drives me bonkers.

Not ALL men are pieces of shit!

I think Jacoby has the right idea. Look for men with qualities that you wouldn't usually go for, you might discover something about yourself.

Why Men Lie

Now folks, someone finally has come up with the reason why men are so misunderstood. Let the girls know. They'll understand, honest.

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his ax fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his ax had fallen into the water.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden ax. "Is this your ax?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver ax. "Is this your ax?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron ax. "Is this your ax?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

One day while he was walking with his wife along the riverbank, the woodcutter's wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You cheat! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You would come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also said 'no' to her, You would thirdly come up with my wife, and I would say 'yes,' and then all three would be given to me. But Lord, I am a poor man and I would not be able to take care of all three wives, so that's why I said yes this time."

The moral of the story: Whenever a man lies, it is for an honorable and useful reason. :icon_wink
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