Cyber Relationships

[Princess]

delete

[Sarah]

You can't hug and kiss cyber people. Pity, really.

My sister certainly has some experiences, the stupid little girl. She went to meet some 'boy' from the internet. She didn't even tell me, or any of the family. It turns out that he was a boy, but 3 years older than what he had said. The whole thing could have turned out very different indeed. What a silly girl.

[Hazzle]

In my view there is no reason why the internet should be anything other than another communication tool which can be used to "meet" people.

My best mate married a guy who was mates with a guy she wrote to from personals...she did it as a laugh at first but it got deep. They slowly fell in love.

All that before they met. They've been married for two years now and have a baby together (and she's beautiful btw). Incidentally...the song they danced to at their wedding (first dance) was "I knew I loved you" by Savage Garden (first line of the chorus being "I knew I loved you before I met you"). Soppy but sort of appropriate. Their wedding was a beautiful occasion and I could see in their eyes they love each other.

Anyway...the point is...if they can do it in personals, using pen and paper, why not text on a screen?

I fell in love with someone I met online...and I know others who have (shan't say as it's for them to "out" themselves )...sadly in my case things never worked out, and have no hope of working out...it kills me a little every day but c'est la vie, eh?

I'm glad for the experience...well...I'm not really but I can see one day how it may well aid me in the long term.

[Jacoby]

I completely agree with Hazzle. Sometimes it can be better because you can get to know the person really well. You just have to make sure you can completely trust the person before you run out and meet them.

[Hazzle]

Originally Posted by Jacoby

I completely agree with Hazzle. Sometimes it can be better because you can get to know the person really well. You just have to make sure you can completely trust the person before you run out and meet them.

<nods> EXACTLY You get to know the PERSON rather than what they look like, rather than getting caugh up in the lust that must accompany any physical meeting

I think me and Hazzle talked about this yesterday.

[Jacoby]

Originally Posted by Kyle_West

I think me and Hazzle talked about this yesterday.

Ok.....Since we're all not Hazzle (though we strive to be) , what are your thoughts on this subject?

[ryan]

i think that trust and (obviously) intimacy are bigger problems with net relationships than regular relationships.
but if you can make it work, go for it.

[Kelsey]

Heh. Do I dare respond to this thread? ...

I've become really good friends with a few people I've met through KKW (we've been talking for what...about a year now?) and it's funny how a part of your life they become. Some more than others. It's funny how strong your feelings can get for someone you've never seen in person, but when you talk nearly every day, you almost forget about that. I have feelings for someone I met and have gotten to know *really* well, who I met on KKW. I am sure we will get the opportunity to meet in person one day, but it's nice knowing that we already know each other well. Will things work out? Who knows, but at least I've gained a good friend from all of it. And if things do work out, it'll be a story that's a little more unique when people ask how we met.

[Pygmalion]

There's a girl I used to be friends with who'd meet people on the net, then give them OUR (her school friends) email addreses. This one guy who added me to his MSN whom I talked to once was convinced he was gonna marry her and thought she was a skinny attractive blonde, when really, she's a dumpy redhead. We aren't friends anymore. So yes it's better to be honest about who you are.

On the other hand I have two really good friends whom I've never MET met (one from KKW-you know who you are) and the other one helped me through a tough time when i was....harming myself. Another friend o'mine is going out with a girl she met on the net, she's at her house at the mo...

[DragonRat]

It all comes down to trust. If you can trust someone, without looking at their face, without hearing their voice, and simply take it in faith that the person you are talking to, is the person you are talking to, then there is no reason why a cyber relationship cannot work. At times, it is easier than talking face-to-face, because it's harder to talk while discerning another person's facial or bodily expressions. (That's what emoticons and smilies are for, I suppose.)

[Sarah]

Talking of meeting people from t'internet, I want to meet all the KKwavers one day. I love everyone here.

[ryan]

Haz keeps saying he wants a relationship with me when I visit London in two months.
I keep telling him I don't swing that way, but he's as stubborn as an ox.
Haz, I said no!

Originally Posted by Jacoby

Ok.....Since we're all not Hazzle (though we strive to be) , what are your thoughts on this subject?

I said it can't be done. If I can't see the person, or touch the person, or do anything with that person then it can't happen. But if you agree to meet and it all works out well then whatever. I myself would rather stick to how it is now, with people I see everyday.

[acliff]

Originally Posted by ryan

Haz keeps saying he wants a relationship with me when I visit London in two months.
I keep telling him I don't swing that way, but he's as stubborn as an ox.
Haz, I said no!

Ryan you should go for it, its not like you have any other options.

On a more serious note, internet is a communication tool. Like voice, body language, writing. The only problem is the anonymity.
I have become good friends with people online. I mean I met Liam and Hazzle, and will soon meet more people from here. One thing I've found is that getting on really well online doesn't necessarily mean you'll get on well offline. Luckily Liam is safe, and Hazzle is just about tolerable.

I am intensely wary of internet relationships, as to me it gives you all of the negatives of the normal relationship with very little positives. Closeness, trust are just not the same, I can imagine you feel the burn of upsets, which are greater in magnitude in any good feelings.

[Ardnax]

I have a fling on msn. I'm going to meet him at saturday. I'm so exhited!

[Liam]

Originally Posted by Sarah

Talking of meeting people from t'internet, I want to meet all the KKwavers one day. I love everyone here.

KKWOMGWTFBBQ - Sometime between August 7 and 13. You are invited

When we know more about where (ie. if we can hijack duckula's place or if we need to bring weapons and hijack a park) we will post more details. Basically in London somewhere.

[Jacoby]

Originally Posted by Ardnax

I have a fling on msn. I'm going to meet him at saturday. I'm so exhited!

I hope you really trust him and it all goes well.

Originally Posted by Liam

Basically in London somewhere.

Wouldn't it be easier to hold it in Rochester, N.Y.?

All relationships are built on trust. It's indeed a bit harder to trust someone while talking online. But if you can trust that person, and they can trust you, go for it.

[acliff]

Originally Posted by Jacoby

Wouldn't it be easier to hold it in Rochester, N.Y.?

Pfff Rochester, N.Y? Does Rochester, N.Y have Acliff and Duckula? No?
I guess its London then. Not being self centred, but we are where its at.

[duckula]

Meeting people on the net is risky. If it the prelude to romance then I would essentially be worried that the person was ugly. Its not shallow, its true, I couldn't sustain a romantic relationship unless I was very physically attracted to my partner.
On the purely friend level it works well and I have had a good experience with everyone I have met in real life from the net (shout out to those who have had the distinct experience of meeting me too early in the morning).