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Relationships & Sexuality Advice? I-Told-You-So's? Confusion? Rabid Parents? Stick it in here and smoke it. Boys welcome too!

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Old 22-12-2004, 08:43 PM   #1
Laura
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Help!

Since I went to uni a few months ago I've made a lot of new friends, especially a girl in the same flat as me, called Jen. We've pretty much become best friends and do most things together.

Last week I went on my usual weekly trip to the swimming pool and Jen tagged along with me. Everything was fine until we were getting changed after we'd got out of the pool. That was the first time I had seen her naked and I, for some reason felt really attracted to her.

I've been feeling really confused ever since. I've never felt like that about another girl before. I've had boyfriends before so I've never thought about being gay or bisexual. I don't really want to mention this to Jen in case it ruins our friendship.

What should I do?
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Old 22-12-2004, 08:49 PM   Senior Registered Member #2
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Take a cold shower. Read the Bible. Find a boyfriend.

I'm only kidding. If you're attracted to her, there's no reason to fight against the feeling. I know how you feel about being reluctant to try and start a relationship with a friend. If it doesn't work you end up without a partner nor a friend. If I were in your situation I would sort of let things ride out a bit. See how things unfold over a certain amount of time. And if you decide to make a move, make sure it's subtle. Don't dive on her in the showers (but if you decide to do this, bring a camcorder?) But you probably knew most of this already. I hope I was a help, even in the slightest way.
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Old 22-12-2004, 09:28 PM   #3
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hmm

another way would be honesty!
If u just talk about your relationship and u'r feelings u will fell more free an understood.
And don't be afraid, u'r friendship will break up. That's what so great and sedatively about real friendships: u can talk about erverything including u'r personal problems. And as u said, u'r relation seems to be very good.
So Talk to her in a calm moment...

that is my advice
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Old 22-12-2004, 09:29 PM   Senior Registered Member #4
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Well, this is a tough case but here are my 2 suggestions.

1) Tell her how you feel (worst case is she might try to avoid you)
2) Wait for another while and hope that the feeling goes away.
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Old 22-12-2004, 09:41 PM   Senior Registered Member #5
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does she know you saw her naked?
if it doesn't weird her out, she's probably somewhat comfortable with it and talking to her about it probably wont ruin anything.
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Old 22-12-2004, 11:13 PM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Administrator #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Donut


And don't be afraid, u'r friendship will break up.
Either your english isn't that good, or you're breaking it to her the hard way...
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Old 23-12-2004, 01:35 AM   Senior Registered Member #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ryan
does she know you saw her naked?
if it doesn't weird her out, she's probably somewhat comfortable with it and talking to her about it probably wont ruin anything.
I have to agree with Ryan.
And just because you feel attracted to ONE girl doesn't make you gay or bi anyway, its not as clean cut as that. Its up to you whether you decide to act on these feelings.
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Old 23-12-2004, 02:27 AM   #8
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i think it's normal to be attracted (or repulsed in some instances) by a naked body, be it male or female. That doesn't make you bi or les. You are just being 'visually stimulated'. if your friend finds out that you see her in a sexual way, she might freak out and the friendship would be jeopardized. unless of course, she has the same inclination.
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Old 23-12-2004, 07:12 AM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Officer #9
Kelsey
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I think (for what it's worth) that you should make sure what you felt was attraction, and not just jealousy or admiration or something. It would be kind of sucky to tell her you are attracted to her, possibly lose her as a friend, and then realize that you are as straight as an arrow and were just having a horny day or wished you had her legs or something, LOL, I don't know.
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Old 23-12-2004, 08:14 AM   Senior Registered Member #10
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Haha, I agree. Could always be a temperary feeling. Therefore, you should probably make sure that it's attraction first.
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Old 23-12-2004, 09:33 AM   #11
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My problem is that I can't stop thinking about her - I'm beginning to think that I'd want a relationship with her.

I'm really confused because I've been brought up as a Christian and have always been told to think of homosexuality as wrong.

I've arranged to meet her to go "shopping" today. I think I'll try and explain what happened and try to limit the damage it could do to our friendship.
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Old 23-12-2004, 03:48 PM   Senior Registered Member #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laura
My problem is that I can't stop thinking about her - I'm beginning to think that I'd want a relationship with her.

I'm really confused because I've been brought up as a Christian and have always been told to think of homosexuality as wrong.

I've arranged to meet her to go "shopping" today. I think I'll try and explain what happened and try to limit the damage it could do to our friendship.
in short, fuck religion and do what you think's right.

if she knows you saw her naked and is cool with it, bring it up.
but don't get pushy or defensive during any point in the conversation.
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Old 24-12-2004, 07:30 AM   Senior Registered Member #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ryan
in short, fuck religion and do what you think's right.

if she knows you saw her naked and is cool with it, bring it up.
but don't get pushy or defensive during any point in the conversation.
Totally Agree!
Anywho, feel free to tell us what happenned after your shopping hours with your friend.
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Old 24-12-2004, 07:51 AM   Senior Registered Member #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laura
My problem is that I can't stop thinking about her - I'm beginning to think that I'd want a relationship with her.

I'm really confused because I've been brought up as a Christian and have always been told to think of homosexuality as wrong.

I've arranged to meet her to go "shopping" today. I think I'll try and explain what happened and try to limit the damage it could do to our friendship.
Ah. I know what you mean. I went to a christian school and when I forst realised I might be gay it was kind of hard.
Homosexuality isn't wrong, its just different.
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Old 26-12-2004, 10:56 AM   #15
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Everythings sorted now. Thanks for all the advice
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