advice on relationship with mother?

[Elijahfan]

formally title "advice on relationship with mother?"....yes i was that angry and bored so i changed it

okay...basically my mom is stupid. here's the situation, well....just one of them (there are so many more )but this is the major one that's been pissing me off

the problem (and i'll try to keep it short):

i live in walking distance of the commerical section of my town. there's everything there; mall, target store, bookstore, fast food, etc. it's about less then 1/4 of a mile and right across the street. i'm 15, in two months 16 yrs old and i want to walk or ride my bike to the stores but my mom wont let me. it's really unreasonable, she thinks i'll get murdered, kidnapped, raped, etc because she sees so much shit happening on tv. though when my older brother (4 yrs older) was my age and younger he was allowed to go anywhere without question. plus my parents wont let me drive for another year...but it's fucking 2 minutes away. (they complain constantly about giving me a ride but they wont let me drive) also, the main reason i want to go is to study at the bookstore, they have cliffnotes. i dont want to be a bad kid and disobey what my parents say but this is retarded.

more about my mom: ex. when she sees a story on the news about a kid being kidnapped by getting into a car with someone offering candy, she'll call me down from my room and tells me not to take candy from strangers. i just give her a blank stare and want to scream "i'm fucking 15 yrs old you fucking psycho!" she's thinks i'm retarded...i dont know if it's because i'm a girl, that i'm the youngest, or i am "an accident child" as my bother puts it (also i have to basically take care of my brother, my parents spoil him. he's 20 yrs old but i'm forced to do his laundry)

options:
1- go without asking, which i've done before
2- argue even though i wont win and just make my mom really angry at me and make me super frustrated
3- smack her on the head with a blunt object and leave
4- burn down the house with her in it
5- call child services (they may not think it's a big deal but i'll say that i get locked in my house which is basically what happens since i'm not allowed to go outside)

[NearokA]

Whoa, for a second there, I thought you wanted advice on how to have sex with your mom...phew.

You're just lucky to have a mom who loves you that much. My mother was the same to me, until I got a car at 16.

1). No. Well, yes if you have company like friends. No if you're going alone.
2). Yes, but don't argue with anger, argue with logic. Write down your arguement and present it to her professionally. Then proceed to outline the strengths and weakness, you know, that sort of thing. Best to argue with facts and keep your emotions under control. She may get fustrated, and still say no. Then at least you can feel gratified that you won. hehe. And you know what? Make another argument tomorrow. And keep doing it everyday until she says yes and keep making compromises so you both can arrive at something to agree on.
3). No. That will get you in prison. Not good. You will get raped by big muscle women. lol. They will force you to lick their...erm...watermelons (think reddish pink and juicy...). You don't want that. Not even I would want that.
4). No. It's your house too. Don't forget that.
5). Only if you hate foster parents. Don't ever play jokes like this to your real parents unless they really are abusive.

On my campus, every so often I hear of a college girl getting kidnapped and raped. It's rare, but it happens and it can happen in your own backyard. Just be cautious and always go places with company or carry some handy mace. I don't know what it's like to be raped, but I'm sure it's not a pleasant feeling. As you get older, change up the mace for a hefty 12 gauge. heh heh heh...That'll teach those suckas not to mess with you. Pump action if you want multiple bursts of enjoyment or double barreled for double the fun. lol.

On a side note, I never knew you were female...
Love your older brother. You're lucky, korean girls do alot more chores than that...and I was meaner to my younger sister. When I look back at it, I'm very sorry, but that's life. My sister use to do cleaning and cooking first out of hatred since my mother forced her to. And you don't even want to know what korean mothers are like. Much worse. 10x times worse. Now my sister does most of that out of love. I guess as she matured, it stopped bothering her so much.

Now, I don't know much about cleaning and cooking, I know enough to get me through another day, and I'm quite thankful for all she's done for me. What I do know is how to make money. Perhaps I'll return the favor someday.

If you were an accident child, you're mother would be pushing you out the door...lol. I'm sure it has something with you being young and female.

[Hazzle]

Wait, did Nearoka just make a sensible post that I can agree with for once? Will wonders never cease?!

Sorry, I just felt after the bashing we give our Korean Seattle-based friend (is there a word for people from Seattle?), usually with just cause, that when he DOES make a sensible post I figure I should voice my agreement with him. It doesn't happen that often, so why not?

[Elijahfan]

okay...yes i totally understand me being female, a series of horrible situations could occur well walking for just five minutes outside but i am a bit crazy, basically i mean i would advert to violence as a mean of solving a problem pretty quickly (though in moderation and against creepy looking people). i'm a big fan of halo and cs and all over violence and war related things. the mace is a good idea, i have asked to get some from my local police station but my mom won't take me....

[Jacoby]

This is easy. Tell your mom you're packing heat.

[Elijahfan]

Originally Posted by Jacoby

This is easy. Tell your mom you're packing heat.

lol! fucking yeah....good idea. that reminds me, i'm doing a report in moral issues on gun control. good picture..going to print it out.

[frodo1511]

Originally Posted by Jacoby

This is easy. Tell your mom you're packing heat.

Yup theirs the answer, plain and simple. EF, what part of Minnesota do you live in? I've been their many times, and only place I didn't feel safe was at Minneapolis/St.Paul. You should have nothing to fear.

...especially carrying one of these babies...

[Elijahfan]

only 20-30 from both st paul and minneapolis....my brother goes to the U of M so i've timed it may times, depends on traffic though.

weapons are the number one solution suggested so far.

[Jasper]

Originally Posted by frodo1511

Yup theirs the answer, plain and simple. EF, what part of Minnesota do you live in? I've been their many times, and only place I didn't feel safe was at Minneapolis/St.Paul. You should have nothing to fear.

...especially carrying one of these babies...

Heh, I lived in the ghetto of St. Paul for 3 years :-/. My friend almost got shot in the head by a stray bullet while riding the bus home from school.

[Elijahfan]

Originally Posted by Jasper

Heh, I lived in the ghetto of St. Paul for 3 years :-/. My friend almost got shot in the head by a stray bullet while riding the bus home from school.

i live in the burbs...i think there are some gangs in savage. not sure, that's what people on my bus say anyway. my mom drives me to my bus stop, which doesnt make any sense since it's at the end of my street, and my street isnt that long, it's to make sure nothing bad happens to me at 6:30 in the morning, i swear she's paranoid.

[Jacoby]

Originally Posted by Elijahfan

i live in the burbs...i think there are some gangs in savage. not sure, that's what people on my bus say anyway. my mom drives me to my bus stop, which doesnt make any sense since it's at the end of my street, and my street isnt that long, it's to make sure nothing bad happens to me at 6:30 in the morning, i swear she's paranoid.

Wow, that's crazy. She does seem just a wee bit over-protective. I'm surprised you're allowed on the internet. I feel for you.

[NearokA]

Originally Posted by Hazzle

Wait, did Nearoka just make a sensible post that I can agree with for once? Will wonders never cease?!

Sorry, I just felt after the bashing we give our Korean Seattle-based friend (is there a word for people from Seattle?), usually with just cause, that when he DOES make a sensible post I figure I should voice my agreement with him. It doesn't happen that often, so why not?

Every post I make is sensible. You're just not drunk enough. lol.

Elijah, you know we only kidding about the guns, right? hehe. But mace and baseball bat is fine. Don't forget the friends. Nothing better than a good public beating.

Would you rather have a paranoid mother, or would you rather get raped in a dark alley? I know what my choice would be, and it ain't getting action in the alley...whatever you do, just be cautious and use your brain.

[Jacoby]

Originally Posted by NearokA

Elijah, you know we only kidding about the guns, right? hehe.

"We"? 'Twas my joke, I believe. :P Just kidding. Carry on.

[Nick]

Okay Elijahfan I'm going to give you some real advice. The advice these guys have been giving you is for pansies. I think your mother is a bitch. You can't let her walk all over you because if you let people walk all over you now than they'll walk all over you for the rest of your life. It's time you took action. I think instead of being afraid of the criminals in the area try making a few friends among a local gang. I know it sounds crazy but no one can teach you how to protect yourself from a criminal better than another criminal. Besides gangs are better than family, they've always got your back if anyone messes with you. And once you've made some connections and learned to defend yourself than you can buy a train ticket, run away, and never look back.

[apoggy]

Don't forget the drug dealing and prostitution you will get into, not to mention being killed by a rival faction afetr being severly raped everywhere :P

[Elijahfan]

Originally Posted by NearokA

Elijah, you know we only kidding about the guns, right? hehe. But mace and baseball bat is fine. Don't forget the friends. Nothing better than a good public beating.

Would you rather have a paranoid mother, or would you rather get raped in a dark alley? I know what my choice would be, and it ain't getting action in the alley...whatever you do, just be cautious and use your brain.

actually quiet easy to get a gun online, my friends did it for our report....and i dont want a paranoid mother, seriously i live in the suburbs, no dark allies in my town, though a lot of fire crazed people who like to set fires, but i am very cautious. i would understand anyone's concern but my mom takes it way to far.

Nick: thanks for the advice, havent thought of that one yet. very appealing...as for concerns about gang violence i hear from others. i would work my way up pretty fast (got brains to control the chumps at the bottom), so i could get a bunch of goonies to beat up people i dont like. and the drug part, learned everything i need to know about that business from scarface and transpotting.

[Kelsey]

Hey, my brother goes to U of M too....good times.

Anyways, about your mom - I had to post on this thread because, as some people here know, my womb donor makes me want to jump off a cliff. I hate her, I hate her family...whatever....anyways, take it from somebody who's mother hardly cares, appreciate the fact that your mom worries about you, even though you think it's unreasonable. Next time she calls you down to tell you not to get into a car with a stranger who asks you if you want candy, acknowledge her warnings instead of stare at her blankly; say something like "I know, I can't believe anyone would be that stupid." Whatever....not only are you her daughter, you're her baby, she probably hates the fact that you're growing up. Just don't even think about things like burning down your house or smashing her over her head. I wish more than anything that I would be able to have my mother there by side for those important kind of things like picking out my wedding dress, getting married, bouncing name ideas off of her for my first child, but that won't happen. Cherish your relationship with her, it's one of those things that is completely worth it if you put work into it.

[hasselbrad]

Mace or pepper spray is your best option for protection as a female.
Most cops will tell you that it isn't wise to engage in a physical confrontation with a male assailant. Also, don't think you can disable a guy with a sharp kick to the nuts. It won't, but will actually serve to anger him more. Mace him and get the hell away.
As for your mother, Kelsey's right. Instead of getting mad when she makes a comment about getting into cars with and/or taking candy from strangers, use the opportunity to show her how responsible you are. Display knowledge and understanding. If she thinks you understand the threats and how to deal with them, she may relax her overprotective muscle.
If that doesn't work...mace her and run!

[Elijahfan]

...i dont know how to put this, but my relationship with my mom is sorta fucked up. she favors my brother more, it's very appearant and noticable, my older sister agrees too. she babys my brother and spoils him while she expects me to act like an adult, not that i dont around her (homework and chores wise), but she wants me to be a parent in certain situations. she leaves it up to me to do chores like everyone's laundry, dishes by hand, cook, clean, watch over my 20 yr old brother all the time when he's home. since my brother has a car he can leave anytime he wants to but then my mom calls home and basically plays 20 questions with me on where my brother is, with whom, to where did he go, what did he do, did he eat...etc.

it's just that she expects me to be an adult but treats me like i'm retarded and doesnt give me any respect for all responsiblities that she places on me. i'm not saying that there isnt a way to come to some solution but i can't just agree with her at this moment. and yes i guess it's better than not having a mom, but i'm coming from the point of view where i think it's better to not know at all (you can always imagine the possiblities), then in my situation knowing that my mom is just fucked up and being stuck with crap.

i've been telling her for a year now that i want a job at the target store located a minute from our house, which is a good example of responsibility, but she brings up who will drive me and i say i can walk or ride my bike and she says it's still too dangerous. sometimes i think she's just making excuses so i cant do anything to help myself. no job....no money, tied to home.

.......i think this is going to lead to a lot of therapy.....

[NearokA]

Originally Posted by Elijahfan

...i dont know how to put this, but my relationship with my mom is sorta fucked up. she favors my brother more, it's very appearant and noticable, my older sister agrees too. she babys my brother and spoils him while she expects me to act like an adult, not that i dont around her (homework and chores wise), but she wants me to be a parent in certain situations. she leaves it up to me to do chores like everyone's laundry, dishes by hand, cook, clean, watch over my 20 yr old brother all the time when he's home. since my brother has a car he can leave anytime he wants to but then my mom calls home and basically plays 20 questions with me on where my brother is, with whom, to where did he go, what did he do, did he eat...etc.

it's just that she expects me to be an adult but treats me like i'm retarded and doesnt give me any respect for all responsiblities that she places on me. i'm not saying that there isnt a way to come to some solution but i can't just agree with her at this moment. and yes i guess it's better than not having a mom, but i'm coming from the point of view where i think it's better to not know at all (you can always imagine the possiblities), then in my situation knowing that my mom is just fucked up and being stuck with crap.

i've been telling her for a year now that i want a job at the target store located a minute from our house, which is a good example of responsibility, but she brings up who will drive me and i say i can walk or ride my bike and she says it's still too dangerous. sometimes i think she's just making excuses so i cant do anything to help myself. no job....no money, tied to home.

.......i think this is going to lead to a lot of therapy.....

lol. You sound like my sister. hehe.

No, you don't need therapy, lol. Quit whining. You're mom is crazy, yes, but what can you do about it? Just stop overacting and breathe. You'll feel better. Cleaning and cooking and laundry builds character. hehe. Actaully, I wish my mother would teach me how to cook. I think we all go through a stage of hating our parents. It'll pass. Just promise me you'll survive.