Twisted Wish - Page 2

Porcelain_Doll · 03-04-2010, 08:39 PM

Granted. You're pregnant! No more periods for nine months. And you give birth to quintuplets. All boys, mysteriously identical to Haz.

I wish my cold where dead and gone. And the day warmer.

michael22 · 04-04-2010, 08:28 AM

Granted a nuclear explosion burns all the germs off of your lungs and makes the day slightly warmer.....

I wish that flights to copenhagen were cheaper or I had the cash to pay the going rate.

Hazzle · 04-04-2010, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Porcelain_Doll

All boys, mysteriously identical to Haz.

In other words, gorgeous? And just what are you trying to imply, missy?!

Quote:

Originally Posted by michael22

I wish that flights to copenhagen were cheaper or I had the cash to pay the going rate.

Granted. A new budget airline opens up offering flights to Copenhagen for just a dollar. Unfortunately their planes are crap (what do you expect for a dollar?) and yours crashes straight into the Copenhagen Stock Exchange. Worse yet, when the authorities inspect the wreckage, they suspect terrorism, and thanks to some "research" they find on your computer, you're their prime suspect. As you're dead, and unable to defend yourself, the mud sticks, and you're forever labelled a Jihadist terrorist.

I wish more people were coming to the BBQ.

eelliiinn · 06-04-2010, 07:45 PM

Granted, more people come, but they are not from around here. They are crazy bombers and they kill us all.

I wish I could leave Sweden now.

Foeni · 06-04-2010, 08:06 PM

Granted. You've now left Sweden and gone to Greenland, and you can never go back.

I wish I had a good wish.

michael22 · 06-04-2010, 08:27 PM

Granted you come up with the best wish ever but you do not recieve it this makes you incredibly depressed that you wish will never come true. You end up going to playgrounds and crushing the dreams of little kids. This results in your arrest and execution because you are mistaken for a child molestor and a monster.

I wish I had the ability to generate well written essays instantaneously at a given time.

eelliiinn · 06-04-2010, 09:37 PM

Granted, your essays rock, you are known world wide as the smartest kid alive. Sucks for you that aliens invading the planet heard of it too, and they decide to kidnap you, cut your brain out and use it for evil experiments. So yeah, you die and thanks to you and your essays, so does the rest of humanity!

I wish I had more time and money over.

Hazzle · 12-04-2010, 06:15 PM

I'm going to assume that you meant you wished you had more time and money (otherwise I can't make head or tail of that sentence).

Granted. You have both time and money. Unfortunately this is because you're now trapped in a parallel universe where you're the only person on Earth. You have access to everyone's bank accounts, but eventually you run out of things to spend the money on, begin to miss the company of others, and purchase a gun with which to blow your pretty little head off.

I wish there was more decent TV to watch.

michael22 · 13-04-2010, 02:04 AM

Granted, the t.v. show is incredible, well written and has a very intrigueing storyline. The bad news it is on fox and is cancelled just when you get into it. It is then replaced by a new seth mcfarlane show and biased news broadcasts. When you stop watching they immedietely send a hitman to tortue you until they are the only things you love in life. Also steak but thats only because it is too good to brainwash you to hate.

I wish I had more of a sense of purpose in my life.

hasselbrad · 13-04-2010, 04:30 AM

Granted... your purpose in life is to mop the spunk off the floor in a Times Square peepshow.

I wish I had more time for writing.

Hazzle · 13-04-2010, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by michael22

It is then replaced by a new seth mcfarlane show and biased news broadcasts.

Isn't it ironic that Fox show right-wing news broadcasts but also show Seth McFarlane shows, a man who is a registered Democrat and donated loads of money to Democratic candidates (including Obama)?

Quote:

Originally Posted by hasselbrad

I wish I had more time for writing.

Granted. You have plenty of time to write. However an act of Congress requires that all writers write at least 50% of their yearly output for the newly legalised child pornography magazines aimed at the well-to-do paedophiles (and naturally the Catholic church). Those who don't are forced to watch sex acts with kids.

I wish Fabregas was fit to play the rest of the season.

eelliiinn · 13-04-2010, 06:04 PM

Granted, he's fit for it, but decides to go off to Bahamas for a 5 year vacation instead of playing

I wish I did not have evening classes.

michael22 · 16-04-2010, 03:38 AM

Granted, your classes occur start 3:30am. You eventually become nocturnal and evolve to suit it your eyes become huge and you develope a really pale complexion. Your terrible condition causes you to become a pariah for society. You eventually end up in the bottom of a cooled lavatube living like Gollum and all the education you received is meaningless until the next kkwbbq down there where you astound us with your riddling abilities before eating Hazzle.

I wish that once I cook a really good meal I could will it into existence without having to actually cook it again or buy the ingredients. mmm scallop,bacon and roasted red pepper pasta.

hasselbrad · 16-04-2010, 09:22 PM

Granted... but your meal causes uncontrollable, explosive diarrhea.

I wish I would sell a house.

eelliiinn · 16-04-2010, 10:32 PM

Granted, the house you sell is your own, and you sell it for just a fraction of its actual value. The money you get for it is not enough to get a new place, so you end up homeless in the streets, and you have to sell your body to old men tp pay for food and booze.

I wish I was allowed more control of my own life.

hasselbrad · 16-04-2010, 11:51 PM

Granted... you take control over your life, but find that the wheel isn't attached to the rudder.

I wish I was back on our cruise.

Surprize · 17-04-2010, 05:58 AM

Granted. Your ship meets the destiny of 'Titanic'. You survive, of course, but have to spend the rest of your life on an isolated island.

I wish I wrote my project on time.

hasselbrad · 19-04-2010, 03:59 AM

You've written your project in time... but you did it in Sanskrit. Your teacher can't read Sanskrit. Silly!

I wish I could stop sneezing.

Hazzle · 19-04-2010, 08:54 AM

Granted. You stop sneezing. But only because you've stopped breathing and dead people don't sneeze. As per South Park, though, your corpse does emit one last, rather nasty, shart.

I wish insurance brokers weren't such utter tits.

eelliiinn · 20-04-2010, 11:11 PM

Granted, they're dicks instead.

I wish my parents would stop making me see this stupid doctor who is just full of shit!

03-04-2010, 08:39 PM	#21
Porcelain_Doll little-miss-smut-for-brains Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: River of Painted Birds Posts: 1,429	Granted. You're pregnant! No more periods for nine months. And you give birth to quintuplets. All boys, mysteriously identical to Haz. I wish my cold where dead and gone. And the day warmer. __________________ "There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense." Elizabeth Bennet musings and ramblings, aka: my blog

04-04-2010, 08:28 AM	#22
michael22 eternally screwed Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 843	Granted a nuclear explosion burns all the germs off of your lungs and makes the day slightly warmer..... I wish that flights to copenhagen were cheaper or I had the cash to pay the going rate. __________________ 88 member of the KK posse, A high powered mutant of some kind to weird to live, to rare to die.-Hunter. S. Thompson The concept of wuv confuses and infuriates us -lurgh

06-04-2010, 07:45 PM	#24
eelliiinn Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 298	Granted, more people come, but they are not from around here. They are crazy bombers and they kill us all. I wish I could leave Sweden now. __________________ Don't fear death, fear the unlived life.

06-04-2010, 08:06 PM	#25
Foeni Moderator Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Copenhagen, Denmark Posts: 1,897	Granted. You've now left Sweden and gone to Greenland, and you can never go back. I wish I had a good wish. __________________ Danish Liberal Youth.

06-04-2010, 08:27 PM	#26
michael22 eternally screwed Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 843	Granted you come up with the best wish ever but you do not recieve it this makes you incredibly depressed that you wish will never come true. You end up going to playgrounds and crushing the dreams of little kids. This results in your arrest and execution because you are mistaken for a child molestor and a monster. I wish I had the ability to generate well written essays instantaneously at a given time. __________________ 88 member of the KK posse, A high powered mutant of some kind to weird to live, to rare to die.-Hunter. S. Thompson The concept of wuv confuses and infuriates us -lurgh

06-04-2010, 09:37 PM	#27
eelliiinn Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 298	Granted, your essays rock, you are known world wide as the smartest kid alive. Sucks for you that aliens invading the planet heard of it too, and they decide to kidnap you, cut your brain out and use it for evil experiments. So yeah, you die and thanks to you and your essays, so does the rest of humanity! I wish I had more time and money over. __________________ Don't fear death, fear the unlived life.

12-04-2010, 06:15 PM	#28
Hazzle Sponsored Cunt Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 5,168	I'm going to assume that you meant you wished you had more time and money (otherwise I can't make head or tail of that sentence). Granted. You have both time and money. Unfortunately this is because you're now trapped in a parallel universe where you're the only person on Earth. You have access to everyone's bank accounts, but eventually you run out of things to spend the money on, begin to miss the company of others, and purchase a gun with which to blow your pretty little head off. I wish there was more decent TV to watch.

13-04-2010, 02:04 AM	#29
michael22 eternally screwed Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 843	Granted, the t.v. show is incredible, well written and has a very intrigueing storyline. The bad news it is on fox and is cancelled just when you get into it. It is then replaced by a new seth mcfarlane show and biased news broadcasts. When you stop watching they immedietely send a hitman to tortue you until they are the only things you love in life. Also steak but thats only because it is too good to brainwash you to hate. I wish I had more of a sense of purpose in my life. __________________ 88 member of the KK posse, A high powered mutant of some kind to weird to live, to rare to die.-Hunter. S. Thompson The concept of wuv confuses and infuriates us -lurgh

13-04-2010, 04:30 AM	#30
hasselbrad Senior Citizen Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Sugar Hill, GA... finally! Civilization! Posts: 4,590	Granted... your purpose in life is to mop the spunk off the floor in a Times Square peepshow. I wish I had more time for writing. __________________ "Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham." I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter.

13-04-2010, 06:04 PM	#32
eelliiinn Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 298	Granted, he's fit for it, but decides to go off to Bahamas for a 5 year vacation instead of playing I wish I did not have evening classes. __________________ Don't fear death, fear the unlived life.

16-04-2010, 03:38 AM	#33
michael22 eternally screwed Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 843	Granted, your classes occur start 3:30am. You eventually become nocturnal and evolve to suit it your eyes become huge and you develope a really pale complexion. Your terrible condition causes you to become a pariah for society. You eventually end up in the bottom of a cooled lavatube living like Gollum and all the education you received is meaningless until the next kkwbbq down there where you astound us with your riddling abilities before eating Hazzle. I wish that once I cook a really good meal I could will it into existence without having to actually cook it again or buy the ingredients. mmm scallop,bacon and roasted red pepper pasta. __________________ 88 member of the KK posse, A high powered mutant of some kind to weird to live, to rare to die.-Hunter. S. Thompson The concept of wuv confuses and infuriates us -lurgh

16-04-2010, 09:22 PM	#34
hasselbrad Senior Citizen Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Sugar Hill, GA... finally! Civilization! Posts: 4,590	Granted... but your meal causes uncontrollable, explosive diarrhea. I wish I would sell a house. __________________ "Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham." I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter.

16-04-2010, 10:32 PM	#35
eelliiinn Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 298	Granted, the house you sell is your own, and you sell it for just a fraction of its actual value. The money you get for it is not enough to get a new place, so you end up homeless in the streets, and you have to sell your body to old men tp pay for food and booze. I wish I was allowed more control of my own life. __________________ Don't fear death, fear the unlived life.

16-04-2010, 11:51 PM	#36
hasselbrad Senior Citizen Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Sugar Hill, GA... finally! Civilization! Posts: 4,590	Granted... you take control over your life, but find that the wheel isn't attached to the rudder. I wish I was back on our cruise. __________________ "Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham." I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter.

17-04-2010, 05:58 AM	#37
Surprize Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: in your dreams Posts: 519	Granted. Your ship meets the destiny of 'Titanic'. You survive, of course, but have to spend the rest of your life on an isolated island. I wish I wrote my project on time.

19-04-2010, 03:59 AM	#38
hasselbrad Senior Citizen Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Sugar Hill, GA... finally! Civilization! Posts: 4,590	You've written your project in time... but you did it in Sanskrit. Your teacher can't read Sanskrit. Silly! I wish I could stop sneezing. __________________ "Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham." I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter.

19-04-2010, 08:54 AM	#39
Hazzle Sponsored Cunt Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 5,168	Granted. You stop sneezing. But only because you've stopped breathing and dead people don't sneeze. As per South Park, though, your corpse does emit one last, rather nasty, shart. I wish insurance brokers weren't such utter tits.

20-04-2010, 11:11 PM	#40
eelliiinn Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 298	Granted, they're dicks instead. I wish my parents would stop making me see this stupid doctor who is just full of shit! __________________ Don't fear death, fear the unlived life.

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