Cheating

[JenR]

I dont know if i've been cheated on my a boyfriend. when i broke up with my 1st ex, he said he was banging girls everytime i wouldn't/couldn't go out with him on that night. I dont care anyways, he sure wasnt getting any from me anymore, because i found him to be a repulsive person... and annoying.

I was used by my (so-called) Best friend my Sophmore Year in Highschool. that broke my heart, when i found out he was only trying to get me just so he'd loose his precious virginity that all his friends had lost. All he ever does his try to fit in a crowed. fucking poser.. i didnt give him any either, so he quit talking to me for 2 years. He only talks to me now, because we both graduated Highschool (he a graduated a year before me). Now i wish he wouldnt speak to me. He just annoys the hell out me, he hasnt changed a bit. the only thing thats changed is that he finally lost his Virginity, but he has to go out with a whore for him to get any. hes also on drugs now.

[dave]

Originally Posted by Flightfreak

cheating is for cowards.

First, I really love you guys. I often disagree with some of the things you value, but I appreciate that you really believe them.

You might think you know how I feel about "Cheaters" but you probably don't. You probably think there is a difference between "Cheating" before you marry and after. But I believe that difference is not as big as you might believe.

Whenever you are attempting to "pair up" it is (supposedly) as much of a commitment as we (us old people) used to make by becoming "engaged." Somehow, these days, people don't seem to value marriage as much as we did before it was possible to get abortions. However; there is, (or so my children and their friends tell me,) just as strong a commitment "without the paper." So when you talk about "Cheating" you really are talking about "a marriage ending affair."

For that, you need more information. Check out Crazy Times, Surviving Divorce by Abigail Trafford I suspect I've told you about this book before, on other threads, but perhaps not. (The link is to the US version of Amazon.com where a used copy of this book costs 50 cents. What's that in Euro's? Less than a quarter?)

This book is full of statistics and Case Studies and absolutely no Psychobabble. It tells you several things that are extremely pertinent to this discussion. One major thing that you might learn is that there is usually an imbalance in a relationship that is in trouble and that the partner who imagines that they are being "controlled" by the other has "a marriage ending affair." They use that to commit an "unforgivable act."

But. If you understand that, (and neither of you contract a fatal disease,) it is just another type of conversation. There's something I told my children that it is important (I think, being old, ugly, and probably senile...) that it is important that you know and "internalize."

Sex is no reason to get married, (Especially "great" SeX.)
AND
SeX is no reason to get a divorce...

Remember, You weren't a Virgin when you got together, and you got together anyway. Sure you feel cheated out of a couple of "good times," but usually the partner who strayed learned a couple of new tricks! AND usually learned to appreciate you better.

If not; Dump them; Now.

Why Men Cheat (two days ago)
Australia - The Daily Telegraph Anita Quigley
Tuesday, September 25, 2007 at 06:00pm

Unfortunately, the Why Women Cheat topic I was watching out on Topix.com is a couple of weeks old and I can't find it. So you'll just have to settle for this one on askmen.com

[Ranman]

Thanks for that ramble, now let me tell you about cheating, I've done it many times and dam proud of it. When you cheat on someone it is because you really don't like them that much. When I was engaged to Stacy I never cheated it never even entered my mind. If you hook up with the wrong person and settle for it and don't look for true love you will have a miserable life. Remember the only person who will be pissed at you if you get caught cheating is the person being cheated on and who cares? you didn't want them in the first place.

[Hazzle]

Originally Posted by Ranman

When you cheat on someone it is because you really don't like them that much.

Then why not end it? No, Dave made a good point in that ramble, although he may not have realised it, and actually backed up Flightfreak's point. People who cheat because they don't want to be with the person they're with ARE cowards. They do something they know the other person won't forgive and thus end the relationship. It's all so that the cheater doesn't have to do the breaking up but that's taking the coward's way out, Like Flightfreak said. Man up and do the right thing.

When you're with someone you don't want to be with and someone else comes along who you do, I totally agree with you about not settling, but that doesn't mean you cheat. You end it with whoever you're with and then hook up with the new person. That's a totally different situation, but not breaking up with your partner first is basically because you're too much of a pussy to actually do the hard thing. Hate to be harsh but if you've cheated loads of times that just means you're a giant pussy Ran. Sorry dude, you know I'd often back you, but I've been cheated on, and it sucks.

[Ranman]

Originally Posted by Hazzle

Then why not end it?

Because you don't know if the new relationship will work out. And you're an idiot to give up steady sex until you do know, You're the pussy being doing that way.
And if anyone wants to comment on my remarks I would like it to be someone who has actually had sex.

[Hazzle]

Yes, because I never have. Wouldn't even know what sex is, clearly. Dude you never know if any new relationship will work out, you tool. And maybe this is just me but generally speaking when I start a new relationship that's when steady sex is on offer. As a relationship gets older that decreases (women are bitches that way) so don't give me that crap. Plus if I'm starting a new relationship it's normally because I'd rather be having sex with the new girl than the old one, so why keep poking the old fire when you can light a new one? You're a pussy, it's got nothing to do with sex, it's entirely the fact you don't have the bottle to break it off.

[Digital_Ice]

There's more to life than getting laid you know...

[Mandy]

Wanna cuddle, Ice?

[dave]

Originally Posted by Hazzle

Then why not end it? No, Dave made a good point in that ramble, although he may not have realized it, and actually backed up Flightfreak's point. People who cheat because they don't want to be with the person they're with ARE cowards. They do something they know the other person won't forgive and thus end the relationship. It's all so that the cheater doesn't have to do the breaking up but that's taking the coward's way out, Like Flightfreak said. Man up and do the right thing.

Actually' I quite realized it. (and why I went back four messages to quote Flightfreak instead of some other message) That WAS the point. Doing an unforgivable act is merely a method of having that painful discussion without actually having that discussion. The "deceiver" gets to "get back" on the "deceived/controlling bastard/bitch" over and over again without ever being in danger while doing it AND without ever having to admit that "someone could get hurt" because, when all is said and done, "What they don't know won't hurt them..." That's how it goes for awhile. Then the bragging starts. That's when you need to talk.

As for people who approach relationships as though they were buying a used car, people who act like Ranman talks. That's how the law of Karma was discovered. You remember, "What goes around, comes around..." People who use other people like gaming tokens deserve all the sadness they get.

You know whats going to happen next? I'm going to have to read some gamesmanship crap about how his method of finding "True Love" is so much better than any other, and then we're going down that path, comparing methods/lifes/Loves. Lets don't and just say we did. You stopped when we got to the part where I described being in the room helping my beautiful wife give birth to the twins and you responded with, what? What exactly did you respond that compared with that? Oh. I remember, it was this "Zipless Fuck" you had up in Missoula, Montana... Pointless SeX, meaningless, but Almost as good as a three dollar rollercoaster ride.

One more question, and then I'll shutup for awhile, in all these "SeXual test drives," how often have you found a method for having "Tantric Sex?" I mean, If Sex is what you're going for, then better sex is better, Right?

Oh, right. Tantric sex requires honesty and trust. But you could just lie about all that. Try it and tell me if it works. I'm single these days, and I miss it.

[Hazzle]

Originally Posted by Digital_Ice

There's more to life than getting laid you know...

THERE IS?!?!?!? Why didn't anyone tell me?! (he's right btw, the big gayer).

[michael22]

I agree, with Haz, for once. Cheating is just not right. This probably does not really matter to most of you becasue of my sexual situation. But as Ice said there is more to life than getting laid.

[Porcelain_Doll]

Ran, you were engaged? Whoa.

And Ice, I can't believe you said that. Ten bucks that if anybody else had said it first, you'd be telling them to fuck off (no pun intended)

[Hazzle]

Originally Posted by Porcelain_Doll

Ran, you were engaged? Whoa.

Clearly she came to her senses. She was last seen crossing the border to Mexico.

And Ice, I can't believe you said that. Ten bucks that if anybody else had said it first, you'd be telling them to fuck off (no pun intended)

Heh, so true. This is just his part of his clever SNAG routine to con you women into bedding him.

[Digital_Ice]

ok... seing as i'm not in the best of moods atm.... this probably isnt the smartest time to be on kkw... but hey, i'm an admin, i can delete it in the morning. (trust me, ask haz, he'll explain)

much as i like to be first to make crude jokes, i do feel women, and this applies to any women, is more important than just being a "fuck-buddy", if you just want a shag then go get a hooker you self centred cunt.

[Hazzle]

Dude if you're going to use a glorious word like "cunt" don't star it out! You're right, of course.

Edit: It's a shame Urban dictionary doesn't define "Hazzle" as "Cunt". Anyone else agree?

[Porcelain_Doll]

Originally Posted by Digital_Ice

much as i like to be first to make crude jokes, i do feel women, and this applies to any women, is more important than just being a "fuck-buddy", if you just want a shag then go get a hooker you self centred cunt.

this is even cuter than a meep.

[Hazzle]

Originally Posted by Porcelain_Doll

this is even cuter than a meep.

He's adorable, ain't he? And all that stemmed from looking out for a friend of his. Aww.

[Hazzle]

I see we have a new retard on the boards. Should be entertaining...for all of 5 seconds.

[Ranman]

Originally Posted by Hazzle

I see we have a new retard on the boards. Should be entertaining...for all of 5 seconds.

I'll bet you're happy having a fellow retard to keep you company you big wuss

[Hazzle]

Originally Posted by Ranman

I'll bet you're happy having a fellow retard to keep you company you big wuss

Yeah, I'm glad you're back dude. I missed having someone more stupid than me around .