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Old 29-09-2007, 08:53 AM   Senior Registered Member #1
kingdumbass
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A Bit of Advice....

Don't ever try to invent a new recipe, especially for something that involves a lot of ingredients, while drunk....
Earlier tonight, my friend and I (under the influence, of course) got it into our heads to turn corned beef hash into a nacho dip. Long story short, we ended up dumping ridiculous amounts of Louisiana hot sauce, Cheese Whiz, Frank's Hot Sauce, Cajun seasoning, hot peppers, pepperonis, onion salt, chilli peppers, sliced hot dogs, black-eyed peas, and beer into a cheap can of the afore-mentioned base ingredient. We ate it all with tortilla chips, and an hour later, sweating and with our stomachs bloated like a pregnant woman's, we both engaged in personal protein spills of monumental proportions.

Anyone else ever done something like that? No? Well, keep it that way, and stay out of the kitchen when you've been drinking.
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Old 29-09-2007, 11:33 AM   #2
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Actually, I cook pretty much exclusively plastered. Over the years, my foster brother and I have invented the spaghetti sandwich (this involves pretty much the whole deli draw, plus pizza bagels, in addition to the noodles), pizza roll soup, the pie pie, and most dangerously, a Mexican preparation technique I like to call the fajita bazooka (cooking with thermite is pretty much a way to be sure you're not seeing your security deposit, ever again.)
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Old 29-09-2007, 10:10 PM   Senior Registered Member #3
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When I was at school my roommate and I george formaned two burgers from meat he had in the freezer. This was dangerous because I can hardly remember anything of it, and usually when I'm hammered I'm not concerned with salmonella. But it didn't matter because shortly after the devouring of burgers and the removal of my Quail Man costume (halloween) I vomited a good amount.


We woke up the next morning and he said "I fucking hate you for telling me to cook up the burgers last night." He's a wrestler and he had to lose twenty pounds in two weeks. And the only thing I said was, "we had burgers?"
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Old 29-09-2007, 11:23 PM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! KKWiki Contributer Senior Registered Member #4
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Heh Jake. The puking didn't help him lose weight or didn't he actually puke?
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Old 30-09-2007, 01:11 AM   Senior Registered Member #5
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I took a crap so big this morning that the toilet actually couldn't handle it....
Since I've already posted enough disgusting shit in this thread, I won't tell you what I had to do to get the toilet working again...but it was pretty damn nasty.
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Old 30-09-2007, 01:21 AM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Administrator #6
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Wtfffffffffgrosssssssss.

*Covers eyes with hands and shakes head*
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Old 30-09-2007, 03:42 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kingdumbass View Post
I took a crap so big this morning that the toilet actually couldn't handle it....
Since I've already posted enough disgusting shit in this thread, I won't tell you what I had to do to get the toilet working again...but it was pretty damn nasty.
In college, my friends and I used to have elaborate, ironic drinking themes, on the weekends. One of the most common ones was "Racist," where we'd bring lawn chairs to a field, and swill PBR while saying the most bigoted things that came to mind.

On one of these occasions, because it takes so much PBR so get tilt, I drank so much that I filled 9 cans with piss on the way home (leading to the name, "Cyril 9 Cans," which I've always liked).

Anyway, since that night, it's been my dream to piss so much in one trip that the pressure on the flap out-weighs the resistance, and the toilet flushes itself.
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Old 02-10-2007, 01:06 AM   Senior Registered Member #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandy View Post
Wtfffffffffgrosssssssss.

*Covers eyes with hands and shakes head*
hahaaaa

I feel like I'm listening to one of my classmates' stories.

I love having to seat where I'm surrounded by my guy-friends. You get to hear about their funniest screw ups, plus some really good insight into the teenage male mind.
Usually they forget I'm sitting there so they don't bother on "censoring" certain subjects: I found myself listening to stories about musical condoms last time.
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Old 02-10-2007, 02:36 AM   Senior Registered Member #9
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Originally Posted by Hazzle View Post
Heh Jake. The puking didn't help him lose weight or didn't he actually puke?
He never puked during our drinking endeavors. I puked maybe four or five times in the semester. He did piss his bed two times, though, after drinking. I think it's because he was so drunk he just lost control, but he claims it's because he was too lazy to get up so he'd just go in bed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Porcelain_Doll View Post
hahaaaa

I feel like I'm listening to one of my classmates' stories.

I love having to seat where I'm surrounded by my guy-friends. You get to hear about their funniest screw ups, plus some really good insight into the teenage male mind.
Usually they forget I'm sitting there so they don't bother on "censoring" certain subjects: I found myself listening to stories about musical condoms last time.
Musical condoms? Is it like a variation o musical chairs, or is there actually a chip in the condom that plays music? Like those Hallmark greeting cards.

And if it's the latter I would like a Barry White singing condom.
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Last edited by Digital_Ice; 02-10-2007 at 11:08 AM. Reason: stop double posting jake!
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Old 02-10-2007, 06:21 AM   Lifetme Service Award Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Retired Administrator #10
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I have heard of condoms that play a tune during sex - apparently you get a different ring tone depending on position (quite how it monitors this, I dont know) and the pace of the tune varies depending on your pace. I'd like the MacGyver theme song.

I hope its not a game of musical chairs edited to somehow fit condoms in. Thats terribly disturbing.
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