Cheating

[dave]

Originally Posted by Pinkfairy

My boyfriend recently cheated on me. He says he was drunk and he's sorry. I am sure he is because the other girl is really ugly. So I wanted to know why guys would do that. I, too, would like to know why people would cheat on their girlfriends/boyfriends. I really can't think of a reason, but I often ask myself why. I don't know if I should get back with him, cause he seems really sorry, but he might do it again.

Never go back with a "cheater." You called him your "boyfriend". Boyfriends come and go. You deserve someone totally committed to you. Not someone who goes out and gets drunk and gets laid. AIDs is real. Do you want to die a horrible death because your "boyfriend" can't keep his pants zipped when he has a few beers?

If you go back to a "cheater" what message does that send? That you will be there like a little puppy dog waiting just in case he decides to come f*&k you this evening instead of his "Friday night woman?" (This is the definition of a woman who needs help. )

Never go back to a "cheater" unless you totally have his huevos in lockdown AND you have gone through months and months of counseling to determine why he unzipped his pants. If he can't hold his liquor, you don't want him anyway. A drunk is always going to have an excuse for whatever he wants to do. (including "hitting you".)

You haven't married this scuzball, get off his train. Go no further without his being so in love with you that he "can't get it up" for anyone else. (You can train him using ropes, chains, and whips so he will never git it up for anyone else... )

Remember, Drunks Lie! They can find a reason why it wasn't their fault no matter what the situation is. Do you want to live with a liar? What did he tell you? He told you it wasn't his fault... He was drunk! What he did when he was drunk could easily kill you. And you didn't even taste the beer... But you're dead just the same. What kind of "man" is that?

Originally Posted by Pinkfairy

<snip> because the other girl is really ugly. <snip>

There are no ugly girls in bars at closing time... But that's where all the ugly men are...

Locate song written by Lee "Hatrick" Hetrick and covered by Willie Nelson. "I went home last night at two with a ten, and woke up this morning at ten with a two." Play it repeatedly while watching reruns of "Cleopatra 2525" or "Firefly", or "Serenity"... (Movies and TV Shows featuring Strong Women.)

A "Sex Expert's" opinion and a really informative way to waste an evening.

[dave]

If it isn't too much trouble, how did this work out? Were those of you who cheated able to get beyond it, or did you just not tell?

And, PinkFairy, did you find a better lover?

[Juliamariskamadadh]

Your absolutly right Dave..you can't trust em'.

[KeirazBabe]

Argh i HATE cheaters! i would NEVER do it & i would never stay with anyone who did it to me.. i think its totally disrespectful... my friend was chated on & HATED her ex.. but what is she doing now? sleeping with this girl who has a long term gf... JEEZ.not on!!!

xXx

[Cirindius]

Cheating is wrong. I don't cheat and I don't like cheaters. Good riddance to my x-gf. 'effing slut!

[Scotsworth]

For the record, I hate that Scotty Doesn't Know song...because my name is Scott...and everyone insists on singing that infernal tune at some point.


That being said, cheating is terrible and in no case is it ever justifiable. I think that before you cheat, you should just dump the person. A relationship should be founded on trust, and it kind of like a mutual contract (so to speak). Cheaters are just terrible and no excuse is forgivable in my book. I've been with my girlfriend for 4 and 1/2 years, if she ever cheated on me, i'd end it in no time...because it's just something I don't think I could ever get over. It's betrayal. So yeah, cheating fucking sucks...don't do it!

[Digital_Ice]

thanks for that... i now have that bloody song stuck in my head.

and technically you shouldnt care unless your missus is called fiona

[Scotsworth]

^lol, true. But still it's sooo redundant

"Scotty doesn't know...that fiona and me do it in my van every sunday...."

I wonder how many times they actually say "Scotty doesn't know" in that song...it feels like at least 1,000.

lol, I just realized that I probably just increased the song being stuck in your head. For that I apologize.

[x.keirafan.x]

One of my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago dumped me.

I was at school and i sin him snogging anouther girl. I ran off crying and then all my friends ran over to see what was wrong and when i told them. My best friend ran over too him tapped his shoulder and when he turned round slapped him. Didn't make me feel better though.

Then on msn later on he asked what was the matter i told him and then i said you could of at least dumped me first he said oh sorry forgot about you! :fencing:

[Scotsworth]

:fencing:<---And then you guys fenced? lol.


Seriously though, that sucks...oh well...you're better off without him anyway.

[Hazzle]

Originally Posted by Cirindius

Cheating is wrong. I don't cheat and I don't like cheaters. Good riddance to my x-gf. 'effing slut!

Good attitude. Cheating is just plain fucking wrong.

That being said, some of you lot aren't half soft. Crying?!? Jeez.

[x.keirafan.x]

I know it sucks but i got over him and i realised he was a minger. But i still cried but then i realised why dwel over the past.

[Hazzle]

Smart girl. The past should be left behind you, where it belongs.

[x.keirafan.x]

past is for past presant is now and future plan that what i say.

[leo.nfsdoc]

Listen, love, if this guy isn't going to appreciate you for who you are, he's too self-centered to deserve you. The only reasons couples cheat are: low self-esteem (therefore they groom a lot and care about their appearances), long time of physical separation between their significant others (i.e. studying abroad, war, etc.), and finally plain old "God gave men a penis, and a brain, but not enough blood to use them both at the same time". Essentially, if he didn't go to war or to study abroad, he's either: a fruit cake, or can't control his member. I hate to break it to you, love; however, you're too good for this fucker. I mean that with the warmest sentiment, honestly. You see, quaint relationships are what I like. The mom, the dad, the son, the daughter, the dog, and the white freshly painted fence. Does that make any sense? The illusion of what the American Dream stands for is what attracts me into a deep hypnosis. I become fascinated with the whole idea of a perfect relationship with a perfect family, and a perfect, in a sense, life. Then again, that doesn't exist. It's an illusion.

"There was only one road back to L.A. US Interstate 15, just a flat-out high speed burn through Baker and Barstow and Berdoo. Then on to the Hollywood Freeway straight into frantic oblivion: safety, obscurity. Just another freak in the Freak Kingdom. We’d gone in search of the American Dream. It had been a lame fuck around, a waste of time. There was no point in looking back. Fuck no, not today thank you kindly. My heart was filled with joy. I felt like a monster reincarnation of Horatio Alger: a man on the move, and just sick enough to be totally confident."


So, love, just remember that safety is only a state of mind (safety you feel when you caress a loved one [such as a boyfriend], or when paternal/maternal love is placed upon you like a warm blanket). Love is never unconditional, I know this because my parents abandoned me when I was 7 years old. Also, remember that the perfect relationship, the American Dream is just an illusion. Looking for it would be "a lame fuck around, a waste of time". Finally, know that happiness comes from within. You don't need anything to be happy, and if you keep that positive attitude up, you can build your own stuff around you. You can grow as an individual, and furthermore build a family. Don't get me wrong, you will always have trouble with every relationship, you just have to find the person you're willing to put up with. Don't linger on the past, and never look back. Never second guess yourself, and show the drive and determination of a strong young woman. Be sick enough to be totally confident; don't be afraid to take chances and live with those choices you've made. If problems arise? knock them down and smile at life. Say "bring it on!" instead of "oh God, why me?". Live your life to the fullest as cliche as that may be! Light candles instead of bitching about the dark....Don't you ever forget this, please don't, there is no point in looking back. "Fuck no, not today thank you kindly. My heart was filled with joy."

I hope this helped, and if you ever need to talk about your relationships or anything that you could ever possibly need advice in, I would be more than glad to try and help. You can essentially only help yourself, though.


Don't forget, there are people you have never met who already love you. Some people just love everybody regardless of who they may be. That also helps hold your hand in the search for happiness, knowing that you can always find someone who cares.


few bullet points:

1: Love exists, but it is never granted.
2: There is no perfect relationship, you have to work for it.
3: Don't you ever second guess yourself. Take a chance, make a choice, and deal with the problems that come from your decision.
4: Grab life by the horns...or by the dick...whatever you please. Don't you ever give up. Don't let anybody bring you down. "Bring it on...bring it on."
5: Don't look back, it wastes the time you could be living in the present or planning for the future.
6: You're everything you set yourself to be. Never more. Never less.
7: Do worry about the future, you're going to spend the rest of your life in it.
Don't forget, you always have the rest of your life ahead of you.
9: Never fight fair in the war of love. In a fair fight, most people will kill you....it doesn't give you any incentive to fight fair (had to add that from the Pirates of the Caribbean).
10: Love the world, and it will love you back.

[Keira lover]

i hate cheating... and divorce (15 years of a life and a fucked up childhood, abusive stepmother, father in denial).

Originally Posted by x.keirafan.x

One of my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago dumped me.

I was at school and i sin him snogging anouther girl. I ran off crying and then all my friends ran over to see what was wrong and when i told them. My best friend ran over too him tapped his shoulder and when he turned round slapped him. Didn't make me feel better though.

Then on msn later on he asked what was the matter i told him and then i said you could of at least dumped me first he said oh sorry forgot about you!

You can do much better

[JenR]

i hope i never cheat on a boyfriend.


Cheating is cheating in my eyes. i don't care if they're sober or not, they still cheated.

[Hazzle]

Amen. I do realise cheating is merely human frailty demonstrating itself, after all, we're not infallible and the difference between those who cheat and those who don't is not the feelings they feel but whether they have the willpower to overcome temptation (which is never easy), but that doesn't justify it, only rationalise why it happens. Being able to understand is not the same thing as being able to forgive. I won't say it's impossible to forgive a cheater because I know people who've successfully rebuilt relationships after cheating but I don't think I could.

[JenR]

its hard for me to say if i'd forgive that person or not. i used to say i'd never forgive anyone who'd cheat on me, but i can see how some people do try to forgive. I'd, personally, have some stricked RULES my man who have to follow.

I wouldnt dictate him, but i' make sure he'd know he would have to prove himself.

[Mandy]

I was cheated on at 17. Hell, I even walked IN on it. Can't say I've ever forgiven him or even really talked to him after that.