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| Relationships & Sexuality Advice? I-Told-You-So's? Confusion? Rabid Parents? Stick it in here and smoke it. Boys welcome too! |
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02-04-2006, 11:22 PM
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#1 |
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Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Oregon, USA. Greenest state in the union, sorry Washitonians :oP
Posts: 448
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Best Lines or the Corniest
C'mon people...I want to see your best & worst lines you can come up with.
Worst: Knock knock. "Who's there?" Frito "Frito who?" Frito can I lay ya? ^Reference to Frito Lay chips Best...okay...not THE best...but it worked: I'm new in town and lost, can you direct me to the best Lessie spot? ^Got a dancing-date out of that one LOL
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Once_Dreaded but never feared #88 in the Keira Knightley Posse |
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03-04-2006, 12:30 AM
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#2
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Honourary Brit
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Dorothyville, USA
Posts: 3,400
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"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"
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10-04-2006, 06:55 AM
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#3 |
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Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Oregon, USA. Greenest state in the union, sorry Washitonians :oP
Posts: 448
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Last night I was witness to a line from a couple that caused a monster make-out session (I of course was NOT apart of this session because I know how to behave...either that or I'm just a prude).
Alexis (shouting to BJ & Linda, Alexis was DRUNK) - Are you two poly???? Linda (looking at BJ...BJ looks back eyebrows raised) - No...we're open. Laura (also DRUNK and shouting) - So what does that mean??? BJ (doesn't realize yet how far this convo will go) - It means that we're in love with each other but not closed to the idea of inviting others into enjoying our intimacy. Alexis (leans over to BJ) - So...you'll kiss me then? BJ (looks at Linda & gets a nod) - SURE, why not. The rest of the night was spent with me trying to get Alexis away from BJ on behalf of Alexis' twin sister Hillary who informed the whole table that Alexis' GF was at home ill & Alexis shouldn't be partaking in that kind of activity. I also had to referee Laura (who is str8 and married???) and Alexis because they were fighting over Linda & BJ. *shrugs* I had fun entertaining the table with my campy performances of the Karaoke songs but found myself being envious of the freedom from morals that drunk people enjoy LOL.
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Once_Dreaded but never feared #88 in the Keira Knightley Posse |
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10-04-2006, 08:13 AM
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#4
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Elle
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Nottingham
Posts: 2,631
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Quote:
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10-04-2006, 08:35 AM
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#5
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Officer
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: California
Posts: 507
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"Your clothes look very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming, too."
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"I like refried beans. That's why I want to try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good, and we're just wasting time." - Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005) "Football is about if you want to run and fight for each other, if you really want to play that killer ball." - Robin van Persie, Arsenal FC |
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11-04-2006, 08:08 PM
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#6
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Cutie
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 761
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Quote:
Some of the worst I've heard (that have actually been employed in my presence): "You here alone?" I know, this one doesn't seem that bad/corny, but picture a guy inquiring this aloud to a girl who is standing near another male whom she was JUST seen coquettishly mingling/canoodling with. Or to a girl who is clearly part of a large party. "Can I buy you a drink?" Again, seemingly not such a bad pick-up line (hell, this is one of my dream lines... just make it a Red Stripe or a Bellini, please), however, this was said to me in the conspicuous presence of my boyfriend who was SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME at the bar. Why do some guys do that? Do they automatically assume that they can steal a girl away from whomever she's currently with? "So, when do you turn 21?"/"How old are you?"/"What're you doin' after work?" I was asked this countless times by a multitude of malodorous proletariats while I was working as a waitress. Ohh, yes you Sam Shepard-esque, middle-aged, lunch-bucket worker. Please wait for me outside in your barely-functioning, begrimed, pale blue Ford pick-up. I can't wait. "That's a really nice picture. I mean, reaaaaally nice. *head nod*" The teenager working at my local video store said this to me upon seeing my driver's license. Maybe he was being genuine? "You have to be the prettiest girl here tonight." Okay, this is extremely cheese-laden, but it was said to me about four years ago at a local concert and, hey, it worked! We're still together today. Granted, I was (as far as I could see) one of the only females within the vicinity, but I'll take what I can get.
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"So you go and you stand on your own.. and you leave on your own. And you go home and you cry, and you want to die..." |
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11-04-2006, 08:27 PM
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#7
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Senior Citizen
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Sugar Hill, GA... finally! Civilization!
Posts: 4,590
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Quote:
"How'd ya like to have some pizza and some sex?" "What?!?!" "I'm sorry...you don't like pizza?" 
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"Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham." I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter. |
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11-04-2006, 08:29 PM
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#8
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Honourary Brit
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Dorothyville, USA
Posts: 3,400
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"I'd hate to see your future walk away from you." Then you see him walking away.
That was probably the most clever one I've experienced. |
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11-04-2006, 08:33 PM
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#9
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Senior Citizen
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Sugar Hill, GA... finally! Civilization!
Posts: 4,590
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Quote:
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"Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham." I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter. |
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11-04-2006, 09:54 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 450
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Wanna play my bagpipes?
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Friends are the family we choose. Life is not measured by how many breaths we take, but by how many times our breath is taken away. Love conquers all, let us too,yield to love! To deny love is to deny life. Love is as necessary as oxygen. Avatar by Jasmine http://www.livejournal.com/users/robslibrary/ http://www.myspace.com/kilted_robespierre |
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12-04-2006, 01:56 AM
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#11 |
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Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Oregon, USA. Greenest state in the union, sorry Washitonians :oP
Posts: 448
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^ Ewwww image-causing line Ewwwwww gross gross gross I need a good mind scrubbing.
"Are you dancing with anyone?..Would you like to dance with me?" Hey, I can't resist when I'm asked to dance so of course I danced with Heidi from Ohio, she was cool and I had fun.
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Once_Dreaded but never feared #88 in the Keira Knightley Posse |
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17-04-2006, 12:26 AM
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#12 |
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Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Oregon, USA. Greenest state in the union, sorry Washitonians :oP
Posts: 448
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"Wanna taste my oatmeal cookies?" *sexy smirk*
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Once_Dreaded but never feared #88 in the Keira Knightley Posse |
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17-04-2006, 04:34 AM
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#13
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'The Flapper'
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 2,647
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This is my favorite to use on all the ladies:
"Wanna fornicate?" I just thought of another good one: "I bet you twenty bucks I could pop my load with you in under five minutes." If she takes the bet you get laid, and you get 20 bucks. Well I'd get the 20 at least. My highest duration is 00:00:34 (hr/min/sec) |
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17-04-2006, 11:44 AM
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#14
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KKW's Therapist
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Traveling the world
Posts: 2,065
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Excuse me, would you like to come home with me,
cook me dinner and give me a blowjob you cumcatcher |
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17-04-2006, 12:38 PM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 344
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Quote:
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27th Member of Keira Knightley's Posse |
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17-04-2006, 02:10 PM
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#16
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: France
Posts: 486
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Quote:
Here's one of the most stupid I heard: (keep in my mind that I hadn't said a word) "hey, you have a beautiful voice, are you a singer, you should be, you got me totally enchanted" blablablabla I had a hard time not laughing at this one. Last edited by marine; 18-04-2006 at 07:42 AM. |
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17-04-2006, 04:01 PM
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#17
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KKW's Therapist
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Traveling the world
Posts: 2,065
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Quote:
What? How do you think I got engaged?  |
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17-04-2006, 04:14 PM
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#18
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Honourary Brit
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Dorothyville, USA
Posts: 3,400
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"I just wanted to remind you that it's not gonna suck itself."
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17-04-2006, 07:36 PM
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#19
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'The Flapper'
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 2,647
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Quote:
(Do people use the middle finger in France?) |
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17-04-2006, 10:28 PM
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#20 | |
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Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Salt Lake City, Utah
Posts: 77
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Quote:
Your dad must be a terrorist, cause you're the bomb Yeah.... someone at school told me that one. haha. |
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