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Relationships & Sexuality Advice? I-Told-You-So's? Confusion? Rabid Parents? Stick it in here and smoke it. Boys welcome too!

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Old 17-03-2005, 08:02 AM   #1
welshy
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Femail advice

i need a womans advice here and i dont mind brutaly honest

whenever i find a girl that i like i act on it not directly as such i just get to know them be cool get into there gd books nd become there friend first.
the only problem is when i then decide i wana become more than friends the girls say to me that im to much of a friend to go out with and i have had the phrase like a brother used a few times

so tell me ladys is this just an excuse they using or is it sumffin girls do alot nd mean and if so how can i avoid it and finaly become just bf material ps i can post apic if u want so u can decide if im ugly or not and thats y im in this situation
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Old 17-03-2005, 08:22 AM   #2
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sorry to say but it's an excuse. i'd want the friendship to develop into something more if i fancy the guy too. there has to be mutual liking.
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Old 17-03-2005, 08:35 AM   #3
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ok cool so do you think i should be content with what i have now? which is a realy gd frienship wiv the girl in question!we've been going out to clubs getting drunk together since we 14, she comes to me with all her problems and whenever shes fealing down. if shes on her own at the end of the night i always walk her home or to a txi rank nd if im on my own she comes over to make sure im fine nd so on.

or do u think i should still keep the idea of going out wiv her as a posibility nd just might have to wait a little longer than i hoped untill she realises that prehapse i might be a gd bf as well as a mate?
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Old 17-03-2005, 08:43 AM   Lifetme Service Award Officer #4
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Hmmm... It's a bit of an excuse, but not entirely. Sorry :/ Basically, what happens is that they think you are a perfectly nice guy, but they just don't feel 'that way' about ya. So in that respect, the 'brother' or 'just a friend' thing is true.

However, if I really liked a guy, and I was friends with him first, that would only stop *me* from doing anything - if he'd tell me he liked me, I'd go for it, and not say that 'I wouldn't want to risk the friendship'.

Edit: I suppose I'd just keep hanging out with her. Will she change her mind? Probably not. I'd also recommend going out with other could-be-more-than friends. Perhaps she'll realise what she could miss out on Don't get your hopes up though, try and focus on other girls a bit more. It could even help your case with this girl, and if not, you may find another possible future girlfriend
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Old 17-03-2005, 09:01 AM   #5
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thanks for ur advise oh nd no worrys i wont get my hopes up afer reading what u 2 nd having a think i realised that im realy lucky to have her as a friend nd i shouldnt realy let my dick make desisons so cheers guys thanks for clearing my mind kinda

Last edited by welshy; 17-03-2005 at 09:05 AM. Reason: wana add
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Old 18-03-2005, 12:06 AM   #6
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hahah to be frank when i tell a guy that he's like a 'brother' to me, i don't really mean it in that sense. it's a subtle way of rejection, for me anyway. but we could always remain friends if he doesn't mind. i still hang out with guys who used to express interest in me. but i don't think i'll ever see them beyond a platonic relationship.

i know someone who's like you. he has many female friends but none of them are interested in him romantically. he also always gets the 'you're like a brother to me' excuse. i'd call it an excuse anyway. he knows it too. and he's frustrated things never progress the way he wants it to.

my advice to you is not to give up (if you really think she's the one for you), especially since u guys are already such buddies. just be your usual nice self, be a good friend and enjoy her company without getting your hopes too high up. sometimes persistence do pay. it all depends on the girl and this thing called fate
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Old 18-03-2005, 02:32 AM   #7
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You could try not getting "In they're good books" first. Because, by the time you do that, then they may very well already think of you as a friend type, and not the boyfriend type.

Try asking them out right off the bat, and maybe you wont have this problem.
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Old 31-03-2005, 06:16 PM   #8
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i agree with jasper. next time you find a girl you would like to go out with talk to her for a little and then ask her out instead of trying to get really close first.
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Old 31-03-2005, 07:15 PM   #9
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I think jasper and bait are right; good to be honest with your intentions with them upfront. Friends then be friends; more then friends... then show em your stuff on the dance floor hehe

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Old 31-03-2005, 07:25 PM   First Class Member Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Moderator #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyKnightley
hahah to be frank when i tell a guy that he's like a 'brother' to me, i don't really mean it in that sense. it's a subtle way of rejection, for me anyway.
That's probably one of the worst way to reject a guy. I've tried that thousands of times. Better to just say that you don't have feelings of that kind.
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Old 01-04-2005, 02:18 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Foeni
That's probably one of the worst way to reject a guy. I've tried that thousands of times. Better to just say that you don't have feelings of that kind.
maybe not the best but as long as it works and the guy gets the hint. unless he's so thick in the head that you have to be more direct and spell everything out to him.
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Old 01-04-2005, 07:05 AM   Officer #12
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there are worse ways to be rejected. that’s at least a subtle way
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Old 01-04-2005, 09:08 AM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Moderator #13
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When someone asks for female advice, its amusing that some of you guys jump at the chance. We're reasonably tolerant here, but we do prefer you to tell the truth about whether you're actually female or not.
Some of you have replied in almost every female advice thread that has yet been created. Stop it, as your advice is useless.
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Old 11-04-2005, 04:58 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by welshy
i shouldnt realy let my dick make desisons
Yyy... That's quite right... Have you no heart instead? Nor patience? Is it just sex you care about?
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Old 11-04-2005, 06:13 PM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Moderator #15
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Yyy... That's quite right... Have you no heart instead? Nor patience? Is it just sex you care about?
Isn't that the mind frame of the entire male gender?
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Old 28-05-2005, 06:51 PM   Senior Registered Member #16
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no it is not.
i need advice aswell i have a girlfriend from my physics class. we both like each other ( i picked up hints like her adverting her gaze with a slight smile and a little blush. incoherently muttering if she bumps into me apologozing a hundred times friendly teasing etc.) anyway i can not work up thecourage to ask her out and neither can she aparently. am i imagining things and she just likes me as a friend hates me or well nothings there help me. also how do girls like to be kissed every time i go to kiss somone it is either to passionate or not passionate enough please i need help i am completely flustered
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Old 22-03-2006, 11:18 AM   #17
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Poor Mike and Welshy

Alright boys....
Welshy - it's really hard when you're GOOD friends with someone to see them as something more...like someone you'd want to be intimate with. If you're interested in getting your rocks off (ie your dick quote) ask a girl right out the gate to be your GF, if you're interested in a relationship stick it out with the GOOD friend and maybe they'll wear down and realize you're what they've been waiting for. Recommended rental - "A Lot Like Love" starring Ashton Kutcher and Amanda Peete...great movie for you and your GOOD friend to watch together.

Mikey mikey mikey, can I call you Mikey? - ASK HER OUT, go balls-out with the girl...she's stealing glances your way, you're doing the same...follow Nike's advice: "Just Do It" Ummm...movie rental for you...uhhhh "Better Off Dead" starring John Cusack...OMG funny movie...hot French exchange student...have to rent it. "I want my two dollars"
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Old 19-08-2008, 03:59 AM   #18
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I've been plagued with this problem for years. Still suffer from it. Everyone sees me as a friend and never considers me as any more. I have two answers: throw yourself into your work (school or job) and, well, develop a substance abuse problem. Caffeine has helped me through the worst times of my life.

Hobbies help too.
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Old 19-08-2008, 08:13 AM   First Class Member Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Moderator #19
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Why bump a thread like this? I'm fairly certain the problem has been solved in the two years time this thread has been dead.
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Old 20-08-2008, 02:32 AM   #20
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Why bump a thread like this? I'm fairly certain the problem has been solved in the two years time this thread has been dead.
sorry, didn't see the dates
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