|26-10-2004, 01:01 AM||#1|
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Wild Wild West
So There's This Guy...
Since everyone is posting advice threads, I figured what the fuck….so here’s my dilemma…I might also add that this comes right in the midst of being on the verge of getting kicked out of my house, applying for colleges, senior classes, work, a horse with some kind of neurological problem, and feelings of random hatred towards my best friend Ashley. Okay, here goes…
So there’s this guy….and he and I met about a year and a half ago and became instant friends blah blah blah. A couple months later, things got more serious and we started going out, or whichever term you prefer, I’m sure there is one more accurate. Anyways, unfortunately we never did anything like…ya know (the opportunity was just never there)….but the future was discussed and all that good stuff. I’d consider it serious, I don’t know if he did or not, but I think he did. So this whole thing lasted a little while and then I ended it because I don’t know, it was moving to fast, I didn’t really feel like he knew me, etc. Mostly my insecurities are to blame.
So then, we didn’t really talk as much after that because we both became really busy. I had a different boyfriend for a couple months, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him. We talked online once, but it was just….different. We used to be able to talk about anything, and now…acting like friends was hard. At that point I kind of thought “whatever, I’ll just let it go.” That was earlier in the year so it’s been awhile and we’ve talked maybe twice in that time. Stupid thing is, I can’t stop thinking about him…I think about him on a daily basis…and part of me thinks, and has always thought, that things would just magically work out. A mutual friend told me once that maybe we would somehow run into each other ten years from now, remember each other, and things would go from there, and as Meg-Ryan-movieish is that sounds, I’ve completely believed it this whole time.
Enter third party. Well, third and fourth party. I thought he was going out with this one girl, but I turned out to be wrong, thank god, because she’s someone I could never compete with you know?? Anyways, turns out he wasn’t, and when I asked him about it, he was kind of pissed…but anyways, now I’m thinking he’s going out with this other girl, cause I’m not stupid, and can pick up on hints. Which reminds me….when we were together, it was like no one could know, which I’m fine with. Except now there’s hints and he’s all buddy-buddy with other girls and doesn’t hide that fact. The paranoia in me can think that he was embarrassed to be associated with me, I don’t know for sure though. To make things worse, after not having talked to him in a long time, I initiated a conversation and worked in that I missed him…you know, not a big deal,it wasn’t supposed to mean much. Except now that I’ve started suspecting certain things, how fucking humiliating is that? Anyways, this is hella long now and I just want feedback I guess. So high school isn’t it? I can’t decide whether I should stick it out and try to remain friends with him no matter what, or just be like, fuck it. Cause, as of right now, i'm trying (and barely succeeding) to fight back the hatred..
~* Kelsey *~
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