My Turn

[Dyce_Blue]

OK, I'll try to explain this the best I can...

There is this girl at school. She is in two of my four classes, and she parks in the same lot as me.

Long story short: I like her.

I finally got the balls to go and talk to her yesterday, and I met her and her friend. Today, my friend and I were walking about 20 feet behind her and her friend in the parking lot, and she was acting a little flamboyant. It's hard to explain, but it is the way I act around a girl I like. There was definitely some eye contact between her and I, but she would always look away quickly, so I couldn't wave or anything.

Tomorrow, the only class I have is with her, then we both leave to the same parking lot.

What do I do?

I don't want to get stuck in "friend mode" with her.

THE ONE PROBLEM: She always has this same friend with her.


I know there is something there, but I'm not quite good with this type of stuff.


Help me out please.

Stop being a pus** and talk to her. Ask her if you can talk alone if her friend is there. See if she wants to go out for a harmless coffee sometime. See if she has MSN then you can talk to her alone and it would be easier, cause it seems you have a problem talking to girls in person. Tell her how you feel and see if she wants the same thing. Don’t be afraid of rejection, just be yourself.

[Foeni]

Must agree with Clinton, if you don't do something nothing will happen (Newton's 1st law btw). Get to class just after she arrives and get to sit next to her. Don't be shy, that's very important. Do you know the friend she is always hanging out with? If you do, ask her if she mind leaving her friend for a little while so you can get to talk to her in private. If you don't know the girl, don't even go there.

[hasselbrad]

Whatever you do, just don't "whip it out." (Sorry...a little J&SB humor)
Seriously, you kids have it so easy these days. Cellphones, text messaging, e-mail and instant messaging have made this so much easier. Back in my day *in old man voice* we had to talk to girls face to face...or worse, call them, at home and face having to speak to an unsympathetic sibling or *gulp* a father!
She has a friend, you have a friend. See if everyone wants to go get some lunch. Make sure your friend knows he's "mighty wingman". It will be a little more relaxed and y'all will be able to get to know each other without the awkwardness of staring at each other over the table, in silence, trying to think of something to say.
After this, you will be able to say, "do you think you and I could go out sometime?"

[Dyce_Blue]

By the way:

I: She has every single class with the same friend. They went to High School together and planned identical schedules.

II: I don't have a cell phone.

[Jacoby]

1.) Kill her friend. 2.) Steal girl. 3.) Celebrate.

I'm just kidding Dyce...obviously :icon_err: . But seriously, if you want to impress her, buy a mesh shirt, and flex. Show her yer guns.

If I were in this situation, I would just wait 'til her friend isn't there. But, if you actually want something to happen, just go talk to her. Tell her how many online friends you have.

[hasselbrad]

Well then you are going to have to charm her as well. Be likable. Don't ignore the friend. If she likes you, she'll be more willing to be an "advocate" for you.
I'm sorry you don't have a cell phone. How do you manage?

[Dyce_Blue]

I should take my time, right?

Just talk to her for now?

Call me a wussy, but I don't want this one to go wrong. I went through high school with an 0-9 record with the ladies. I really think this girl and I can get together. Any more advice?

[Earendur]

Originally Posted by Dyce_Blue

I don't want to get stuck in "friend mode" with her.THE ONE PROBLEM: She always has this same friend with her.

Hmmm i got same prob with a girl i like at college i think i taken to long and i know where in "Friend mode" the worse thing is two other friends are always with her so it makes it real hard for me.

Snap her up before anyone else does!
Talk to her and tell her how you feel etc because you'll only regret it if you dont

[Jasper]

Originally Posted by Earendur

Hmmm i got same prob with a girl i like at college i think i taken to long and i know where in "Friend mode" the worse thing is two other friends are always with her so it makes it real hard for me.

Snap her up before anyone else does!
Talk to her and tell her how you feel etc because you'll only regret it if you dont

Umm... try reading the rest of the thread, k?

[Dyce_Blue]

I got back to my car today, and she had left me a note with her phone number on it...

[hasselbrad]

Sweet...I guess?
In the back of my mind, I thought she might have had some reason that had nothing to do with you.
Are you cool with this?

[Hazzle]

Originally Posted by hasselbrad

Sweet...I guess?
In the back of my mind, I thought she might have had some reason that had nothing to do with you.
Are you cool with this?

She may well have just been shy, or unsure of herself, or anything. It's basically now, as Hassel says, up to Dycey how he proceeds. I mean...if it was me, I'd want an explanation for the earlier scene, and I suppose it's up to you if you need one or not. And whether you believe the one she gives. It's over to you Dycey Boy.

[Renegade]

Originally Posted by Dyce_Blue

I got back to my car today, and she had left me a note with her phone number on it...

How do you know it's her number? For all you know, the number could lead back to a broken down asian restaurant in between a dark alley and a crackhouse full of whores who do coke lines in exchange for kim chee and chow mein.

[dave]

Originally Posted by Renegade

How do you know it's her number? For all you know, the number could lead back to a broken down Asian restaurant in between a dark alley and a crackhouse full of whores who do coke lines in exchange for kim chee and chow mein.

Just send the number to me, I'll do the right thing with it... In the meantime, start reading some of the "Burke" series of books by Andrew Vachss... His phone number leads to a "broken down Asian restaurant in between a dark alley and a crackhouse full of whores". And I love his style. Andrew Vachss Website
The Burke Series

In the meantime, assuming that you are about 20, do yourself a favor. Ask out a thirty year old woman. You will be surprised at how much you enjoy the company of adult women. You'll gain all the experience you currently lack, and have fun as well. They are better dancers and conversationalists. When they talk/argue it is from logic and knowledge, not merely peer group consensus of opinion. They also are adult enough to pay half so you can go out twice as much. And you cannot believe how much better the sex will be. Just stay away from the married ones.

How many of the movie star women do you think are under thirty? Just Keira, Britney, and Christina... That tells you that only one in three is worth knowing. Forgot about Kirsten Dunst, Jessica Simpson and Jessica Alba, although I'm beginning to worry about a couple of them, too.

[dave]

You started this thread with this post:

Originally Posted by Dyce_Blue 13-10-2004

OK, I'll try to explain this the best I can...

There is this girl at school. She is in two of my four classes, and she parks in the same lot as me.

Long story short: I like her.

I finally got the balls to go and talk to her yesterday, and I met her and her friend. Today, my friend and I were walking about 20 feet behind her and her friend in the parking lot, and she was acting a little flamboyant. It's hard to explain, but it is the way I act around a girl I like. There was definitely some eye contact between her and I, but she would always look away quickly, so I couldn't wave or anything.

Tomorrow, the only class I have is with her, then we both leave to the same parking lot.

What do I do?
<snip>

After a couple of days you added this post:

Originally Posted by Dyce_Blue 15-10-2004

What a fucking idiot I was. I cannot believe how stupid I acted. I should have just gone with my original hunch and stayed away.

I don't feel like explaining the tangled backstory, but I will since my life is worthless anyway.

So yesterday, I wrote her a note in class asking if she wanted to do something afterwards. <snip>

This brings me to today, when I was surprisingly optimistic and confident. My plan was to meet her outside math class (where I usually see her), turn my homework in, and skip to go hang out with her and her friend. <snip> They snuck out the back door of the classroom to avoid me.

After not quite a month and a half you added this post:

Originally Posted by Dyce_Blue 24-12-2004,

So for this girl's birthday about a month and a half ago, I bought her the OC season 1 DVD. I looked EVERYWHERE to get it, and at my 4th Best Buy/Circuit City, I grabbed one of the last ones they had. This put me back at least a half tank of gas and $70 for the DVD. <snip> ...any feedback?

And you are asking for feedback...

Unless you are extremely rich, a $70.00 gift for a girl that you have only spoken to once on the way to the parking lot is excessive. The very fact that you know her birthday is suspect. You are doing things that are "wrong" on every level.

When I first read this I was new to the board, and I didn't realize that the post was over a year old. I hope that you have grown up in the last year and are not still trying to impress women with inappropriate expensive gifts before you have talked with them at least twice. If you are a devotee of the idea that you can fall in "love at first sight", you should realize that when people speak of that they are speaking of BOTH PEOPLE feeling that way. When both people feel that way they will BOTH feel that way. When only one person experiences that strong an attraction it is called "lust". Inappropriate lustful feelings should never be openly expressed. The way these internet conversations develop make it hard for people to realize what you were doing. You were "over the top".

Think about it from the lady's perspective. She gets a $70.00 "weird" gift from an almost stranger (you had no idea that she was an OC fan, or that she was "an OC type of girl.") You followed her around, trying to "talk". She had to assume that you were expecting an "OC" type of relationship, and were willing to pay for it. Were I her, I'd have had an older brother checking you out on the Internet, also. And, if you'd said anything wrong, I think the expression "beat the shit out of him" would have been discussed.

So, in the past year, what have you done to change? Have you taken some Psychology classes? Gone to some "group sessions"? Gotten a real girlfriend?