The Course of a Relationship

[Mandy]

Sometimes I wonder if getting into a relationship is worth it. I mean most of them seem to happen the same way, at least for me.

1. Meet a guy
2. Become friends with guy
3. Friendship becomes something more
4. Decide to start dating and spending a lot of time together
5. Get to know pretty much almost everything about them
6. Once the excitement is over, you start arguing more.
7. It's pretty much all goes to shit after that.

There seems to be a basic cycle that couples go through from what I've experienced and from what I've seen with my friends in the past. Apparently I haven't met anyone I'm crazy enough about to not get tired of them. It makes me feel like there will never be anyone I'll be able to commit to for a long period of time, and that's scary. And anyone that I've been crazy about in the past hasn't felt the same way about me. And even if they did, how do I know I still won't get sick of them later on? Maybe I want what I can't have?

What's the course of a relationship like for you, or what has it been like? Similar?

[JenR]

i dont think the excitment ever started in my relationship.

[Mandy]

Hah. So, a bit pointless then?

[Hazzle]

Pretty much the same. I was going to say "Only replace guy with girl" but you guys would see through that. Except it's not so much arguing or getting sick of the other person, more that I just get bored of them. Then again, eventually practically everyone bores me. However I've come to realise that I also tend to "sabotage" because I'm a commitmentphobe. I tend to get into a "If she's with me something must be wrong with her" frame of mind, then spend a lot of time trying to find flaws to prove me right, and when I find said flaws, it gives me an excuse to end it, which is what I want.

[hasselbrad]

Where does "dump body" fit into the list?





Seriously though, that's pretty much the way it goes until you find someone that can make number six read "once the excitement is gone, you settle in and learn to enjoy little things together and/or apart."
I thought I had that once, but she wanted "excitement". Funny though, I can always tell when "Mr. Excitement" is out of town because the ex gets really chatty. Obviously, the art of conversation is lost on "Mr. Excitement".
As old fashioned as this sounds, I think sex too early in a relationship dooms it to failure. Too often, physical "intimacy" is substituted for true intimacy. When the sex loses its initial spark, there's nowhere for the relationship to go but down.

[Leonie]

This thread makes me feel so old. Like... Old.

[Hazzle]

Originally Posted by Flightfreak

Scary.

Yes, yes you are, Petey old boy. Still stalking those teenage girls are we? Good job laddy.

[JenR]

Originally Posted by Mandy

Hah. So, a bit pointless then?

god i hate him.