What Do You Look For?

[Kelsey]

So my boyfriend and I are officially broken up. We broke up last Wednesday, but since it's now been an entire week, I'm assuming we're completely, officially, 100% done. Anyways, after 7 days, calling and hanging up, tears, a little too much alcohol, and all the drama, I have finally come to the for-sure conclusion that he was all wrong for me. Well, obviously. Cue Haz saying 'I told you so'....

Anyways.

Which brings me to my question. What do you look for in a potential boyfriend/girlfriend. Physically and mentally. And, should you decide to share more, please tell us about your significant other and whether or not they meet all of your initial expectations. I'm always curious to see who is attracted to whom, and in what way.

[Pinkfairy]

Sorry to hear the sad news.
My boyfriend and I have been on and off for the last year. I've learned that there are several aspects that are important in a relationship. I'm still debating whether love is enough.
Compatibility is obviously important, as well as trust. I realized that after he cheated on me, it's been hard for me to trust him. That's a really bad sign. I do know he's sorry, but I don't know if he'd do it again so we're working on that. Now he and I have really good chemistry. I'm figuring stuff out myself, so I guess he and I are off. I did learn something: guys love their space.
basically, I just look for someone who I can have fun with, good chemistry, and who I cannot stay mad with for more than 24 hours.

[Ashlyn]

hope you're doing okay
i think an interesting personality and a sense of humour are very important, i cant stand boring people or people who have nothing to talk about. someone you can have fun with and who you feel comfortable with all the time. and obviously a nice guy who is caring and all that.. as for looks, (i dont know what to say without sounding shallow) but looks are important to a certain degree - certainly not the most important thing though.
my boyfriend at the moment - well we're on and off, i dont know what's happening. he's a great guy and i really like him, but something doesnt feel right, i dont know what it is.. we have a strage relationship, i cant describe it. (this is making no sense)
i'd say he 'meets my expectations'.. he's everything i could want in a guy and i can see myself with him for a long time, we just need to sort some things out first.

[ryan]

The traits, qualities, etc. of the ideal girlfriend, for me, are actually found in someone I've had the pleasure of talking to these past few days. She knows who she is. It's really kind of strange that someone out there has such similar interests and such as myself.

Anyway, to elaborate on this, there are quite a few qualities in a female that I seek out. They include:
a fun, energetic personality
sense of humor
physical attraction
lack of arrogance and/or being stuck up
open/communicative
intelligence
athletic ability
similar hobbies or interests
maturity
and, obviously, an interest in me is a plus

[MeggieHoops]

Originally Posted by ryan

The traits, qualities, etc. of the ideal girlfriend, for me, are actually found in someone I've had the pleasure of talking to these past few days. She knows who she is. It's really kind of strange that someone out there has such similar interests and such as myself.

Anyway, to elaborate on this, there are quite a few qualities in a female that I seek out. They include:
a fun, energetic personality
sense of humor
physical attraction
lack of arrogance and/or being stuck up
open/communicative
intelligence
athletic ability
similar hobbies or interests
maturity
and, obviously, an interest in me is a plus

I have to say...Ryan has it all down. I agree with him completely on everything.

Coincidentally, I've been talking to someone new lately as well...and THEY have all of the qualities that I look for in the perfect guy.

[hasselbrad]

...is preferable. That way I don't have to spend so much time breaking them down. I am pathetic, and I don't want some broad thinking she's better than me 'cause she's got her shit together. :icon_roll
Kidding.
That's what I do. I kid around a lot, and yes Freud, my self-deprecating humor is probably some sort of defense mechanism, but if you don't like it, you can just go back to thoughts of buggering your mother (that is directed at Freud) :icon_wink . I just know that I'm a lot happier now that I can laugh at myself than I was when I couldn't. Therefore, a sense of humor would probably be pretty high on the list. My ex-wife had a problem with me poking fun at myself (weight, college dropout, you name it) and this led to friction. Humor is very important, as is the ability to laugh at oneself.
This sense of humor usually takes care of the laid back, easygoing personality. I want to be with a woman who can be satisfied with where they are and what they are doing. That doesn't mean I want a couch potato, because Lord knows I need someone to get my lazy ass going. I just don't want some kind of type A personality for whom constant change and upheaval are neccessary.
I want a woman who's interested in some things that I'm interested in, say movies and music, for instance, but then also has interests of her own. Too many common interests can be smothering.
Oh yeah, a tall woman would be nice. I've always lusted after tall women. I'm 6' 5", and for some strange reason I've never had a long term relationship with a woman over 5' 6". My ex-wife was 5' 2". Hmm.

...OR...

I want a girl
With a mind like a diamond
I want a girl
Who knows what's best

I want a girl
With shoes that cut
And eyes that burn
Like cigarettes

I want a girl
With the right allocations
Who's fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack

She's playing with her jewelry
She's putting up her hair
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack

I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnng jacket......

I want a girl
Who gets up early
I want a girl
Who stays up late

I want a girl
With uninterupted prosperity
Who uses a machete
To cut through red tape

With fingernails
That shine like justice
And a voice that is dark
Like tinted glass

She is fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack

I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnng.... lonnng jacket

(Instrumental break)

I want a girl
With a smooth liquidation
I want a girl
With good dividends

And at the city bank
We will meet accidentally
We'll start to talk
When she borrows my pen

She wants a car
With a cupholder arm rest
She wants a car
That will get her there

She's changing her name
From Kitty to Karen
She's trading her MG
For a white Chrysler LeBaron

I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnggggggggg jacket

[acliff]

Originally Posted by ryan

The traits, qualities, etc. of the ideal girlfriend, for me, are actually found in someone I've had the pleasure of talking to these past few days. She knows who she is. It's really kind of strange that someone out there has such similar interests and such as myself.

Anyway, to elaborate on this, there are quite a few qualities in a female that I seek out. They include:
a fun, energetic personality
sense of humor
physical attraction
lack of arrogance and/or being stuck up
open/communicative
intelligence
athletic ability
similar hobbies or interests
maturity
and, obviously, an interest in me is a plus

The problem with that list is, that is what absolutely everyone is looking for. Who wouldn't want all these qualities in their other half? Hopefully there is someone out there like that for me, it is a big world after all.

[ryan]

Originally Posted by acliff

The problem with that list is, that is what absolutely everyone is looking for. Who wouldn't want all these qualities in their other half? Hopefully there is someone out there like that for me, it is a big world after all.

Not completely Cliff. I know a lot of people who could care less if their signifigant other is intelligent, athletic, or funny. I however think very highly of those traits.

I'm convinced there's someone for everyone, no matter who the person is. I'm sure there's a Mrs. Cliff out there somewhere.

hmm.. well first off hello to all, new user here...

i'm 16 and i've never had a girlfriend but i still have ideas for i guess what you would call the "perfect girl." this may sound shallow, but unless i already know the person, looks are important because i would think that if i were to approach a stranger to talk to, it wouldnt be because of their personality, because hell, i've never met them.

uhh, otherwise they have to be cool and down to earth because one thing i can't stand are girls that are literally idiots and think they are better than everyone (the "popular" girls), if htey like good music and are cool to be around, i can dig it..

[Hazzle]

Originally Posted by holmes`

hmm.. well first off hello to all, new user here...

i'm 16 and i've never had a girlfriend but i still have ideas for i guess what you would call the "perfect girl." this may sound shallow, but unless i already know the person, looks are important because i would think that if i were to approach a stranger to talk to, it wouldnt be because of their personality, because hell, i've never met them.

uhh, otherwise they have to be cool and down to earth because one thing i can't stand are girls that are literally idiots and think they are better than everyone (the "popular" girls), if htey like good music and are cool to be around, i can dig it..

Dude that ain't shallow at all. It's different when you know someone already but if you don't, we all go on looks, that's just nature as you have nothing else. Sometimes you can get a clue to someone's personality, like a T-shirt with a band's name on it, so you know a common interest, or you meet at, for example, a Hitchcock retrospective so you fine a common interest...but other than that...it's hard to know personality before you talk to someone.

And yeah, I think all guys want a girl who's really down to earth. I know I do...in fact I tend to like a little insecurity, especially when it surprises me that they're insecure because it just makes them more amazing and alluring to me. Also makes me want to show them how fabulous they are.

The music and stuff...meh...it's nice to have some common tastes but too much can be boring as fuck.

[ryan]

sanity and honesty is all that i ask

sanity and honesty!

[MeggieHoops]

Originally Posted by ryan

sanity and honesty is all that i ask

sanity and honesty!

Honesty? *Cough*



I look for humor, intelligence, someone who takes care of their body, and yes, honesty. I don't think I really have a "type" though, so I don't look for anything more specific than that.

[ryan]

Originally Posted by MeggieHoops

Honesty? *Cough*



I look for humor, intelligence, someone who takes care of their body, and yes, honesty. I don't think I really have a "type" though, so I don't look for anything more specific than that.

meghan, dear, we've been through this a thousand and one times.
if i was looking to date someon, i would know them for a period of quite a few weeks, not hours, and therefore trust them. they wouldn't be brand new to me.