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Old 13-07-2004, 12:44 AM   Officer #1
DragonRat
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Distant Love (a poem)

Into the east my heart did sail,
And was forever lost,
For it had seen the last portrayal
Of love’s familiar cost –
And dearly paid, to no avail,
To sea and debt ‘twas tossed.

Where’er I go, I shan’t return,
For none could dignify
My heart, and she who bade me yearn
What I could not deny.
She left my heart to one concern –
The sea of endless sky.

A quiet passion drives me on,
Toward pastures gray and dull,
Toward lands wherein is beauty gone,
Replaced with dying lull.
And every night shall fade to dawn,
A ransom paid in full.

The Western sun leads where I roam,
Where loneliness resides,
Where restless nights have made their home,
And emptiness abides.
Thus thicker grows that ancient tome,
To which heartbreak confides.

The moon shall be my guide throughout,
Its ashen light above;
Across the seas I make my route,
In search of dreams thereof;
And when this distance pains about
My soul, I know ‘tis love.
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Last edited by DragonRat; 13-07-2004 at 09:51 AM.
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Old 13-07-2004, 12:46 AM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! KKWiki Contributer Senior Registered Member #2
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As always...an excellent piece of work from DR...round of applause matey. Totally captured the mood I think you were going for...brought a tear to even this cynic's eye.
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Old 13-07-2004, 01:12 AM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Moderator #3
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Seems technically sound from what I know of the subject, some decent imigary but like your other works I have read it fails to move me. In summary, needs soul.
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Old 13-07-2004, 10:14 AM   Senior Registered Member #4
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I dont know much about poetry, i did a semester on it at school, i like the flow of it, it reads well, hard to explain, but some poetry dosnt run or unfold niceley, this one does, and i can also understand the meening of this poem, well atleast one of the meenings .
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Old 13-07-2004, 10:17 AM   Senior Registered Member #5
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Oh, it rhymes. An automatic 10/10 for doing something I'm hopeless at. I'm easy to impress when it comes to poetry.
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Old 14-07-2004, 12:07 AM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! KKWiki Contributer Senior Registered Member #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by duckula
Seems technically sound from what I know of the subject, some decent imigary but like your other works I have read it fails to move me. In summary, needs soul.
Meh...won't move everyone...anyway Ducky...you're an immovable man, remember?

I found it moving...because it spoke to me of experiences I've had...maybe it's not the same for everyone.

The key thing, like someone else says is that I think it flows and reads perfectly...and for me the sentiment is powerful and vague enough to appeal to many.
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