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#1
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Officer
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: California
Posts: 507
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Distant Love (a poem)
Into the east my heart did sail,
And was forever lost, For it had seen the last portrayal Of love’s familiar cost – And dearly paid, to no avail, To sea and debt ‘twas tossed. Where’er I go, I shan’t return, For none could dignify My heart, and she who bade me yearn What I could not deny. She left my heart to one concern – The sea of endless sky. A quiet passion drives me on, Toward pastures gray and dull, Toward lands wherein is beauty gone, Replaced with dying lull. And every night shall fade to dawn, A ransom paid in full. The Western sun leads where I roam, Where loneliness resides, Where restless nights have made their home, And emptiness abides. Thus thicker grows that ancient tome, To which heartbreak confides. The moon shall be my guide throughout, Its ashen light above; Across the seas I make my route, In search of dreams thereof; And when this distance pains about My soul, I know ‘tis love.
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"I like refried beans. That's why I want to try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good, and we're just wasting time." - Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005) "Football is about if you want to run and fight for each other, if you really want to play that killer ball." - Robin van Persie, Arsenal FC Last edited by DragonRat; 13-07-2004 at 09:51 AM. |
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#2
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Sponsored Cunt
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,168
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As always...an excellent piece of work from DR...round of applause matey. Totally captured the mood I think you were going for...brought a tear to even this cynic's eye.
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#3
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Nobler in the mind.
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,214
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Seems technically sound from what I know of the subject, some decent imigary but like your other works I have read it fails to move me. In summary, needs soul.
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#4
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Westie Yobbo
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 970
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I dont know much about poetry, i did a semester on it at school, i like the flow of it, it reads well, hard to explain, but some poetry dosnt run or unfold niceley, this one does, and i can also understand the meening of this poem, well atleast one of the meenings
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#5
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KKW Sex Therapist
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 2,814
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Oh, it rhymes. An automatic 10/10 for doing something I'm hopeless at. I'm easy to impress when it comes to poetry.
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#6
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Sponsored Cunt
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,168
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Quote:
I found it moving...because it spoke to me of experiences I've had...maybe it's not the same for everyone. The key thing, like someone else says is that I think it flows and reads perfectly...and for me the sentiment is powerful and vague enough to appeal to many. |
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