On love

[johnnyboy]

<removed>

[Ranman]

Whatever you do don't let her see what you just wrote

[Asudai]

Originally Posted by Ranman

Whatever you do don't let her see what you just wrote

yes, if she saw this then you would have other things to worry about.


But are you questioning whether you love her? or whether you are worthy of her love? Because if she loves you then obviously you ARE worthy of it in her eyes. And the only thing I could tell you to make YOU feel more worthy of it, is to love her back.

If you are saying you aren't sure you love her, well then that's something you need to work out on your own. I can't tell you whether you love her or not =P

[Pygmalion]

Well I've loved someone for the wrong reason, because my parents hate dher. An act of rebellion.
Not sure if thats relevant.

[DragonRat]

How old are you?

If you're only in your teens, then you have no idea what it means to love another in that respect. I'm sorry to say that, but I've gone through the same, meaningless and empty circumstances, in which I may believe that I'm in love with someone, yet it's impossible to figure it out. One thing to note, though: if you question your love for someone, then you don't really love the person. Many people say that, when you love someone, you just know. There has never been a substantial attempt at philosophically discussing the technicalities of love (simply because the emotions are too difficult and too illogical).

Loving someone for the wrong reasons is something peculiar. What are the wrong reasons? If you love the person... just because... then that's a wrong reason. Sometimes, it's important to realize exactly what about the person drives you to the heights of Olympus and the depths of Hades. Is it her appearance? Her personality? Her charm? Her wit? Her everything?

To love someone for the right reasons... how does one know what's right? We are the only species ever (in our history) to conceive such things as 'right' or 'love'. How does one know what to do? Milan Kundera once wrote in The Unbearable Lightness of Being:

"There is no means of testing which decision is better, because there is no basis for comparison. We live everything as it comes, without warning, like an actor going on cold. And what can life be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself? That is why life is always like a sketch. No, 'sketch' is not quite the word, because a sketch is an outline of something, the groundwork for a picture, whereas the sketch that is our life is a sketch for nothing, an outline with no picture.
"Einmal ist keinmal, says Tomas to himself. What happens but once, says the German adage, might as well not have happened at all. If we have only one life to live, we might as well not have lived at all."

What I do suggest, though, is to embrace how you both feel about each other, and just go with it. Sometimes, there's no need to question why. As humans, we don't have the ability to reason; rather, we have the ability to rationalize. And with things such as 'love' and the emotions, it's perhaps best not to rationalize about it. Simply accept it, and be happy.

[johnnyboy]

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[dave]

Originally Posted by DragonRat

How old are you?

If you're only in your teens, then you have no idea what it means to love another in that respect. <snip> One thing to note, though: if you question your love for someone, then you don't really love the person. <snip> What I do suggest, though, is to embrace how you both feel about each other, and just go with it. <snip> Simply accept it, and be happy.

And I agree with DragonRat, as well.

There are four kinds of love... I've forgotten all of them except "agape". And I don't think I remember what that really means.

When you are in lust, it looks and feels like love. When you are in love, you cannot be apart. There is no jealousy, because she is perfect and can do no wrong. Jealousy is anti-love. You are trying to tell her what she can't do, with love both of you accept that there is nothing the other person can't do. I guess I would say that the person you love is going to be your "best friend". You won't put any other thing in the way of being together. And this is unconscious. You don't intentionally do this thing.

Do you plan beyond the day? Love demands a plan... You should be scheming and planning how to be together as often as possible. If she just left for college, she is vulnerable as she probably is in a new milieu, no friends, weird happenings going on everywhere, and you, safely in her pocket.

If she only loves you when she sees you; take what you can get and learn from it. "'Tis better to have loved and lost; than never to have loved at all."

I can still tell you Thousand word stories about the first woman I loved. I can make you shiver with the excitement of softly stroking her breast while reading Shakespear to her in her lavender scented bedroom. But God am I glad that I didn't marry her. Even though she was the "Trophy Girl" at the 1962 U.S. Summer Nationals Drag Races... She was so beautiful. She was so absotively wrong... "Twisted".

HOHO!!Do just as you wish!!

[dave]

Originally Posted by anakin250

HOHO!!Do just as you wish!!

I don't know why this advice set me off. Perhaps it is all internal to me. You are an 18 year old Chinese communist University Student. One of the "Privileged Class". And you are writing in English.

What I read may not be what you meant to say.

Did you mean?

1) You are the only person who can choose what you are going to do so do what you think is best.

or

2) Do what will give you the most pleasure! Don't worry about what anyone else is telling you, you do what feels best for you.