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Old 31-08-2005, 08:00 PM   Lifetme Service Award Officer #1
Leonie
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Room/Housemate Funnies

Right, so for the sake of anonimity I wont mention any names in the upcoming story, but its just so funny that I have to share.

A housemate of mine, we'll call him A, got a hamster. Now, this hamster, being male, has gigantic balls. I've had heaps of hamsters, male hamsters just happen to have balls that combined make up the size of their heads. My housemate's friend (B) obviously hasn't had hamsters before, and figured she'd google the massive balls to be sure nothing was wrong with him.

She uses my housemate's computer to google the 'problem'. Type 'h' for hamster and what do you find in the drop down menu? Hot boys! Hee. Turns out friend A has been watching loads of gay porn. B told this story to my friend C while they were sitting in the kitchen and A was slowly turning a nice shade of beetroot. A's one of those people who always feel the need to cuddle every girl within reach, so this comes as quite a surprise. I'm also fairly certain A and B have been sleeping together, which adds to the surprise. A also insists that he's straight as an arrow.

Why do I think this is so funny? How ironic is it to be 'caught' watching gay porn because your hamster has bigger balls than you do?! As far as manliness goes, this bloke got beaten by his hamster
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Old 31-08-2005, 08:24 PM   Officer #2
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Last year my roommate (19) was dating a 45 year-old man. And couldn't understand her family having a problem with it. And she would complain about it to me, and it was all I could do just to not burst out laughing. Like it's totally normal to be sleeping with someone older than your father.
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Old 31-08-2005, 10:06 PM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Moderator #3
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Last year I had a housemate called Matthew (link to blog can be given to those who pm). He was a fat, useless, indigent fuck. He embodies, in essence, everything I hate about people (sadly it took living with him to work this out). Hilarious.
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Old 01-09-2005, 03:35 AM   Senior Registered Member #4
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Why do things like rodents and hamsters have such ginormous balls? Seriously, huge.

Roomies are always a source of amusment... unless they suck.

A gem from my roomie while we both watched Dirty Dancing: "When I was young I didn't know what sex was, but I knew it was Patirck Swayze."

My old roomate fell in love with her adopt-a-soldier... it was fun.
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Old 01-09-2005, 06:22 AM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Moderator #5
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2 years ago, my rather large friend, being slightly (read terribly obnoxious) one evening while drunk, broke the hinges of my door by aimlessly throwing a fire exinguisher at it. Good times, considering in shared student accomodation with unsecured firedoors in between each block, the chances of something being stolen is almost guaranteed.

A couple of days later, said housemate gets carried home after a night out, having been rohypnol'ed. Being a cheap bastard, it appears that he picked up a random drink while he was pissed thinking that he'd swipe it and have a drink for free. Karmic justice, fucker. Although to be fair, while he doesn't remember a thing, I remember the stuggle of helping to carry his dead weight 16 stone bulk up 2 flights of stairs.
You have to be grateful that he probably stopped a girl from getting raped. But I very much doubt that he had any noble intentions, if in fact any thoughts at all at this point.

More stories when my memory wakes up
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Old 01-09-2005, 07:46 AM   Lifetme Service Award Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Retired Administrator #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by duckula
Last year I had a housemate called Matthew (link to blog can be given to those who pm). He was a fat, useless, indigent fuck. He embodies, in essence, everything I hate about people (sadly it took living with him to work this out). Hilarious.
Is that the chap who drove us to the airshow?
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Old 01-09-2005, 09:40 AM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Moderator #7
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Yes. It went downhill from there.
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Old 01-09-2005, 09:47 AM   Lifetme Service Award Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Retired Administrator #8
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I remember him as a rather large, red headed bloke, whom I still owe 20 pounds.

Would it be fair to assume he is a proper slob who eats too much?
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Old 01-09-2005, 06:06 PM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Officer #9
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I refuse to live with people for these exact reasons.
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Old 01-09-2005, 06:38 PM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Senior Registered Member #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelsey
I refuse to live with people for these exact reasons.
They can't be trusted.
I knew a kid who lived with his cousin when I was in college. The kid I knew went to school full time and worked at Kinkos, while his cousin was supposed to be in school, but unbeknownst to anyone, had dropped out. Anyway, my friend kept paying his rent at the office every month and the cousin didn't. And, since he wasn't in school, he was always around to snatch the late notices off of the door so my friend wouldn't know what was going on.
One day, he's riding his bike home from work and he notices a shirt on the ground that looks like one of his. He keeps riding until he notices something gold out of the corner of his eye. He looks, and sees it's a weight from a set of barbells. His set of Gold's Gym barbells. Suddenly, he notices that all of this shit in the ditch is his. While he was at school and work, his cousin had packed up and left, leaving his things to be thrown on the curb when the apartment evicted him.
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Old 18-09-2005, 04:42 AM   #11
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Well, this just happened to me today, and I thought of this thread.
I wake up this morning and go to the bathroom to do my business. I flip the toilet seat up and find it full to the brim with water and a turd. It wasn't me, so of course, must've been one of the other occupants. I search for the plunger and can't find it, so I leave it till and I can find the plunger, and go to do errands for a few hours.
I come back later, find the plunger in the basement, and plunge the toilet. Water gets all over the floor, so I clean that up and disinfect that with some 409, and then pick up the towles to go and wash them in the basement.
I walk into the washroom and find half of it covered in water, so now I have to mop all that up. I have to use a comforter and ten towels to soak up all the water.
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Old 18-09-2005, 11:50 PM   #12
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I have my own bathroom this year. Definitely has its benefits...
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Old 24-09-2005, 05:01 AM   #13
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I have another one. Yes, I'm a nerd and have no life. This didn't happen to me, but it happened to my sister. We'll call my brother-in-law Bob.
The night before their wedding, my sister and now brother-in-law are in Las Vegas, and they both go to a stripper club and do some heavy drinking. When they get back to Bob's brother's apartment, Bob pukes on my sister's dog and then passes out.
I love my brother-in-law.
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Originally Posted by Neras
I have my own bathroom this year. Definitely has its benefits...
Thank you for mocking me.
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Old 24-09-2005, 09:42 AM   #14
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I felt that it needed to be done...

This year I have a flatmate who has no idea what the term 'volume' means... He puts his music (rap, hip hop, etc) on at stupid times at full volume. I've asked him to keep it down, but he just ignores me. So now, whenever he puts his music on, I deafen myself by using my PC to play Metallica at full volume.

He's either going to keep his volume down or attack me soon. I'm not sure which...
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Old 25-09-2005, 05:13 PM   Lifetme Service Award Officer #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neras
I felt that it needed to be done...

This year I have a flatmate who has no idea what the term 'volume' means... He puts his music (rap, hip hop, etc) on at stupid times at full volume. I've asked him to keep it down, but he just ignores me. So now, whenever he puts his music on, I deafen myself by using my PC to play Metallica at full volume.

He's either going to keep his volume down or attack me soon. I'm not sure which...
Oh, I have audio battles all the time. Best bit being that my little speakers make as much noise as the ones he spent a fortune on. Win.

Bloke nextdoor from me likes to play all sorts of random music at all sorts of random hours of the day, preferably with both the frontdoor and the door that leads into the hallway inside wide open. This is were playing Sunburn at obscene volumes comes in. There's no beating that and he knows it. He generally turns it down after a 'subtle' hint like that.
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Old 26-09-2005, 11:13 AM   #16
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Yeah, my flatmate goes on and on about his 'system', and how good it is... My tiny little PC speakers can drown it out, so I'm happy. He isn't, but that doesn't bother me.
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