Femail advice

welshy · 17-03-2005, 08:02 AM

i need a womans advice here and i dont mind brutaly honest

whenever i find a girl that i like i act on it not directly as such i just get to know them be cool get into there gd books nd become there friend first.
the only problem is when i then decide i wana become more than friends the girls say to me that im to much of a friend to go out with and i have had the phrase like a brother used a few times

so tell me ladys is this just an excuse they using or is it sumffin girls do alot nd mean and if so how can i avoid it and finaly become just bf material

ps i can post apic if u want so u can decide if im ugly or not and thats y im in this situation

SimplyKnightley · 17-03-2005, 08:22 AM

sorry to say but it's an excuse. i'd want the friendship to develop into something more if i fancy the guy too. there has to be mutual liking.

welshy · 17-03-2005, 08:35 AM

ok cool so do you think i should be content with what i have now? which is a realy gd frienship wiv the girl in question!we've been going out to clubs getting drunk together since we 14, she comes to me with all her problems and whenever shes fealing down. if shes on her own at the end of the night i always walk her home or to a txi rank nd if im on my own she comes over to make sure im fine nd so on.

or do u think i should still keep the idea of going out wiv her as a posibility nd just might have to wait a little longer than i hoped untill she realises that prehapse i might be a gd bf as well as a mate?

Leonie · 17-03-2005, 08:43 AM

Hmmm... It's a bit of an excuse, but not entirely. Sorry :/ Basically, what happens is that they think you are a perfectly nice guy, but they just don't feel 'that way' about ya. So in that respect, the 'brother' or 'just a friend' thing is true.

However, if I really liked a guy, and I was friends with him first, that would only stop *me* from doing anything - if he'd tell me he liked me, I'd go for it, and not say that 'I wouldn't want to risk the friendship'.

Edit: I suppose I'd just keep hanging out with her. Will she change her mind? Probably not. I'd also recommend going out with other could-be-more-than friends. Perhaps she'll realise what she could miss out on

Don't get your hopes up though, try and focus on other girls a bit more. It could even help your case with this girl, and if not, you may find another possible future girlfriend

welshy · 17-03-2005, 09:01 AM

thanks for ur advise

oh nd no worrys i wont get my hopes up afer reading what u 2 nd having a think i realised that im realy lucky to have her as a friend nd i shouldnt realy let my dick make desisons so cheers guys thanks for clearing my mind kinda

SimplyKnightley · 18-03-2005, 12:06 AM

hahah to be frank when i tell a guy that he's like a 'brother' to me, i don't really mean it in that sense. it's a subtle way of rejection, for me anyway. but we could always remain friends if he doesn't mind. i still hang out with guys who used to express interest in me. but i don't think i'll ever see them beyond a platonic relationship.

i know someone who's like you. he has many female friends but none of them are interested in him romantically. he also always gets the 'you're like a brother to me' excuse. i'd call it an excuse anyway. he knows it too. and he's frustrated things never progress the way he wants it to.

my advice to you is not to give up (if you really think she's the one for you), especially since u guys are already such buddies. just be your usual nice self, be a good friend and enjoy her company without getting your hopes too high up. sometimes persistence do pay. it all depends on the girl and this thing called fate

Jasper · 18-03-2005, 02:32 AM

You could try not getting "In they're good books" first. Because, by the time you do that, then they may very well already think of you as a friend type, and not the boyfriend type.

Try asking them out right off the bat, and maybe you wont have this problem.

Foeni · 31-03-2005, 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SimplyKnightley

hahah to be frank when i tell a guy that he's like a 'brother' to me, i don't really mean it in that sense. it's a subtle way of rejection, for me anyway.

That's probably one of the worst way to reject a guy. I've tried that thousands of times. Better to just say that you don't have feelings of that kind.

11-04-2005, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by welshy

i shouldnt realy let my dick make desisons

Yyy... That's quite right... Have you no heart instead? Nor patience? Is it just sex you care about?

acliff · 11-04-2005, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by miri

Yyy... That's quite right... Have you no heart instead? Nor patience? Is it just sex you care about?

Isn't that the mind frame of the entire male gender?

17-03-2005, 08:02 AM	#1
welshy Newcomer Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: wales Posts: 8	Femail advice i need a womans advice here and i dont mind brutaly honest whenever i find a girl that i like i act on it not directly as such i just get to know them be cool get into there gd books nd become there friend first. the only problem is when i then decide i wana become more than friends the girls say to me that im to much of a friend to go out with and i have had the phrase like a brother used a few times so tell me ladys is this just an excuse they using or is it sumffin girls do alot nd mean and if so how can i avoid it and finaly become just bf material ps i can post apic if u want so u can decide if im ugly or not and thats y im in this situation

17-03-2005, 08:22 AM	#2
SimplyKnightley Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 250	sorry to say but it's an excuse. i'd want the friendship to develop into something more if i fancy the guy too. there has to be mutual liking. __________________ Life is drawing without an eraser

17-03-2005, 08:43 AM	#4
Leonie Elle Join Date: May 2003 Location: Nottingham Posts: 2,631	Hmmm... It's a bit of an excuse, but not entirely. Sorry :/ Basically, what happens is that they think you are a perfectly nice guy, but they just don't feel 'that way' about ya. So in that respect, the 'brother' or 'just a friend' thing is true. However, if I really liked a guy, and I was friends with him first, that would only stop me from doing anything - if he'd tell me he liked me, I'd go for it, and not say that 'I wouldn't want to risk the friendship'. Edit: I suppose I'd just keep hanging out with her. Will she change her mind? Probably not. I'd also recommend going out with other could-be-more-than friends. Perhaps she'll realise what she could miss out on Don't get your hopes up though, try and focus on other girls a bit more. It could even help your case with this girl, and if not, you may find another possible future girlfriend __________________

17-03-2005, 09:01 AM	#5
welshy Newcomer Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: wales Posts: 8	thanks for ur advise oh nd no worrys i wont get my hopes up afer reading what u 2 nd having a think i realised that im realy lucky to have her as a friend nd i shouldnt realy let my dick make desisons so cheers guys thanks for clearing my mind kinda Last edited by welshy; 17-03-2005 at 09:05 AM. Reason: wana add

18-03-2005, 12:06 AM	#6
SimplyKnightley Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 250	hahah to be frank when i tell a guy that he's like a 'brother' to me, i don't really mean it in that sense. it's a subtle way of rejection, for me anyway. but we could always remain friends if he doesn't mind. i still hang out with guys who used to express interest in me. but i don't think i'll ever see them beyond a platonic relationship. i know someone who's like you. he has many female friends but none of them are interested in him romantically. he also always gets the 'you're like a brother to me' excuse. i'd call it an excuse anyway. he knows it too. and he's frustrated things never progress the way he wants it to. my advice to you is not to give up (if you really think she's the one for you), especially since u guys are already such buddies. just be your usual nice self, be a good friend and enjoy her company without getting your hopes too high up. sometimes persistence do pay. it all depends on the girl and this thing called fate __________________ Life is drawing without an eraser

17-03-2005, 08:35 AM	#3
welshy Newcomer Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: wales Posts: 8	ok cool so do you think i should be content with what i have now? which is a realy gd frienship wiv the girl in question!we've been going out to clubs getting drunk together since we 14, she comes to me with all her problems and whenever shes fealing down. if shes on her own at the end of the night i always walk her home or to a txi rank nd if im on my own she comes over to make sure im fine nd so on. or do u think i should still keep the idea of going out wiv her as a posibility nd just might have to wait a little longer than i hoped untill she realises that prehapse i might be a gd bf as well as a mate?

18-03-2005, 02:32 AM	#7
Jasper Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 203	You could try not getting "In they're good books" first. Because, by the time you do that, then they may very well already think of you as a friend type, and not the boyfriend type. Try asking them out right off the bat, and maybe you wont have this problem. __________________ "You know that with-holding evidence from a federal officer is a serious crime. Especially when that officer has paid handsomely for that evidence, and wouldn't think twice of ripping that patch off your eyehole and skull fucking you to death."

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