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Old 04-12-2004, 07:09 PM   #1
MeggieHoops
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Ok...Question...

Ok so, I was talking to my friend about this earlier, so I thought I'd ask all you KKWer's advice.

There are usually alot of men in my life that I'm flirty with, and it's fun and I enjoy it, but I def. want something more, you know? However...whenever I start to have REAL feelings for someone, I get scared and end up saying/doing things to hurt them...sometimes intentionally (as I'm sure some people around here know only too well... :icon_err: ). I know how bad this is, but for some reason I can't seem to stop doing it. I guess in a way I'd rather hurt them than let myself get hurt, but in the end, hurting them hurts me. Any advice on how I can get over the feeling of being scared and commit myself to a real relationship?
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Old 04-12-2004, 07:34 PM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! KKWiki Contributer Senior Registered Member #2
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Don't get over it. The right guy'll come along who can deal with it and put you at ease eventually so you never feel afraid about it again.
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Old 04-12-2004, 08:42 PM   First Class Member Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Moderator #3
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I think that's just the way you are. You may be able to control, but it will always lie deep down just waiting to pop out. Then it's better for the (lucky) guy to know before you start a real relationship. Maybe you could try not to hurt them too much. A litte sting once in a while kinda tests them.
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Old 04-12-2004, 09:12 PM   First Class Member KKWiki Contributer Senior Registered Member #4
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Date thicker skinned men.
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Old 04-12-2004, 10:39 PM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! KKWiki Contributer Senior Registered Member #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hasselbrad
Date thicker skinned men.
What he said.
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Old 04-12-2004, 10:52 PM   Senior Registered Member #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeggieHoops
However...whenever I start to have REAL feelings for someone, I get scared and end up saying/doing things to hurt them...sometimes intentionally (as I'm sure some people around here know only too well... :icon_err: )
whoever could you be referring to?

i'll use the ol' poker analogy/matt damon quote on this one.

you can't win what you don't put in the middle.
this translates to: sometimes you have to take a risk in order to acheieve or win something. something (yourself, in this instance) needs to be put on the line in order to get what you want. good things don't keep happening to people just by chance. they don't get what they want by taking the easy road. life would be boring if we never had challenges or obsticles.
take a risk. if it fails, you get hurt. you're gonna get hurt anyway if you keep doing what you're doing. what do you have to lose?
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Old 04-12-2004, 10:54 PM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! KKWiki Contributer Senior Registered Member #7
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Can't actually disagree with Ryan one bit. No risk no reward <shrugs>.
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Old 05-12-2004, 12:45 PM   Officer #8
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It’s very good that you realise that you have that problem.
The best thing you can do is just be honest about it,
Its very confusing for a guy, so talk about it,
it will make things easier for you and for the guy.
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Old 05-12-2004, 03:45 PM   #9
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What sort of things do you say?

No guy likes to be insulted or hurt, and guys, as well as girls, have different tolerance levels for such things. Find the time to talk to the guy you like and explain to him why you say/do these things. Chances are he'll understand and the relationship will be better because of it. Honesty is the best thing for a relationship, communication is the key. Just keep in mind, just because you told him why you do it doesn't mean that he'll be able to take it forever.
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Old 08-12-2004, 02:16 PM   Senior Registered Member #10
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Im crap at advice so *hugz to the fellow meg* hehe

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