I need advice on a friendship...

DefyingGravity · 24-11-2004, 04:03 AM

Okay, to make a long story short, this girl and I, let's call her Angie, we were best friends from third grade to eighth grade. Then suddenly, in eighth grade, she MOVED AWAY without telling me. Just out of the blue. And the thing is, she lived right across the street from me. I guess it was too much of an inconvenience for her to walk 50 fucking yards to say goodbye to her best friend. I was crushed. I had to find out from someone at school why she wasn't there. I was extremely hurt and angry.

Up until last February, it had been two years since I had seen her, until she showed up at my door randomly. Wtf?! Just like that?! With no warning?! Well, we spoke for a while, but there were a LOT of awkward silences, and neither of us really knew what to say to each other. I got her AIM name. She’s been on and off frequently, and we talk sometimes, but not much. I just don’t see the point in being friends with her anymore. We no longer have anything in common, and we’ve both changed. I just don’t care about her that much. Am I cold?

Renegade · 24-11-2004, 04:13 AM

No. Maybe if you two reconciled your differences, then maybe there's a chance you two can be friends again...if that's what you want.

MeggieHoops · 24-11-2004, 09:17 AM

Nope, not cold at all.

Maybe it'd help to tell her how she hurt you when you were younger, just to get it out in the air and let her know how you're feeling and how you felt then. I mean, you're both 18 and I think you can maturely talk about it without causing a fight or whatnot.

If somehow you grow to be friends again, that'd be cool...but if not, don't worry. You're different people now and it's not like you're required to reconnect after all these years.

ryan · 24-11-2004, 06:28 PM

If she valued the friendship, she'd of told you well in advance.
And she can't expect to just show up out of the blue and be taken in with open arms.

If you can start getting along again (finding common interests, etc), that's fine, but if being friends and chatting doesn't feel natural (ie, you have to really try to make things work), then perhaps you've moved on and it's better that way.

I had a similar situation happen to me once. I just didn't think it was right due to the awkwardness and such, so we just stopped talking (for good that time).

24-11-2004, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeggieHoops

I mean, you're both 18 and I think you can maturely talk about it without causing a fight or whatnot.

Well, 16 :-p. But the point still stands, people change, people grow, talk about it with her but as Ryan said, there really is no point being friends if it's forced.

IBO · 25-11-2004, 04:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DefyingGravity

I just don???t see the point in being friends with her anymore. We no longer have anything in common, and we???ve both changed. I just don???t care about her that much. Am I cold?

You kindda answered your own question there buddy. And if you were her 'best friend' Wouldn't you know if she was moving away?
________
Vaporizer volcano

24-11-2004, 04:03 AM	#1
DefyingGravity Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 344	I need advice on a friendship... Okay, to make a long story short, this girl and I, let's call her Angie, we were best friends from third grade to eighth grade. Then suddenly, in eighth grade, she MOVED AWAY without telling me. Just out of the blue. And the thing is, she lived right across the street from me. I guess it was too much of an inconvenience for her to walk 50 fucking yards to say goodbye to her best friend. I was crushed. I had to find out from someone at school why she wasn't there. I was extremely hurt and angry. Up until last February, it had been two years since I had seen her, until she showed up at my door randomly. Wtf?! Just like that?! With no warning?! Well, we spoke for a while, but there were a LOT of awkward silences, and neither of us really knew what to say to each other. I got her AIM name. She’s been on and off frequently, and we talk sometimes, but not much. I just don’t see the point in being friends with her anymore. We no longer have anything in common, and we’ve both changed. I just don’t care about her that much. Am I cold? __________________ 27th Member of Keira Knightley's Posse

24-11-2004, 09:17 AM	#3
MeggieHoops Will Flash for Cash Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: NYC Posts: 244	Nope, not cold at all. Maybe it'd help to tell her how she hurt you when you were younger, just to get it out in the air and let her know how you're feeling and how you felt then. I mean, you're both 18 and I think you can maturely talk about it without causing a fight or whatnot. If somehow you grow to be friends again, that'd be cool...but if not, don't worry. You're different people now and it's not like you're required to reconnect after all these years. __________________ xo Meg You can't live in the past, because you've got to live for the future.

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24-11-2004, 04:13 AM	#2
Renegade Stock Boy Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 794	No. Maybe if you two reconciled your differences, then maybe there's a chance you two can be friends again...if that's what you want.

24-11-2004, 06:28 PM	#4
ryan Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Cincinnati Posts: 901	If she valued the friendship, she'd of told you well in advance. And she can't expect to just show up out of the blue and be taken in with open arms. If you can start getting along again (finding common interests, etc), that's fine, but if being friends and chatting doesn't feel natural (ie, you have to really try to make things work), then perhaps you've moved on and it's better that way. I had a similar situation happen to me once. I just didn't think it was right due to the awkwardness and such, so we just stopped talking (for good that time).

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