Originally Posted by seventhson
Maybe it will help my self esteem, etc...couldn't hurt to like the way I see myself even if the girls only think of me as a very plain, old dude. at least I won't be "the hairy one".
You only say that, but in essence you believe it, too. If you doubt yourself, then of course you'll doubt what other people think. (Think the Golden Rule, with the second part the more integral clause.) If you think yourself "a plain, old dude", then yes, others will perceive it that way. Or rather, you will perceive others perceiving you that way. "The world is my will and my representation." Good ol' Schopenhauer.
But seriously, you've been through some tough times, and I'll pray for you (seriously). But the first thing you have to do, is realize that time will only tell, that passivity--in both thought and action--is not a realizing or fulfilling option in life. Everyone has to pick themselves up at some point: find something that satisfies you--YOU, as a person. Is it your daughter? Then live for your daughter. Care not for the hatred and slander that life sends to you; care only for the fact that, if your daughter loves you, and if you love your daughter, then love the world. Because she is in it. If she exists in this world--in YOUR world--then love this damn, foolish world. Because you exist, too, God damn it. You're important as well.
Make yourself feel important. Go to bed knowing that the day was done (and not in the depressing, Nick Drake way); that the sun went down, and something was FINISHED. Do something, and finish it. If something remains undone, then know that time will tell if the curtains will finally fall, or the scene will be again repeated. Don't stress about tomorrow today, because the crap that goes on today--that's enough to worry about as it is.
Keep it honest. Keep it heavy. Keep it going.