Your wonderful commentary on anal stimulation aside, I don't really think my definition bolsters your argument any more than it would not mine. As for the denotative argument, I find that the Oxford Dictionary is more agreeable to your standards, whereas the Merriam-Webster and American Heritage Dictionaries agree with my definition. As is, one can see the irony and contextual differences between British and American understanding of marriage :P.
"I like refried beans. That's why I want to try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good, and we're just wasting time." - Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005)
"Football is about if you want to run and fight for each other, if you really want to play that killer ball." - Robin van Persie, Arsenal FC