A few favorites from Woody Allen:
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying."
"I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland."
"Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things."
I'm only here to remind Brad to take his protein pills daily.