[acliff]

When I become rich and successful, I'm going to hire Ice to work for me, and pay him well. I will no doubt still treat him like dirt.

What I'd suggest to Ice is to stay for as long as you reap the benefits i.e. rinse the discounts, additional perks (if any) and then move onto sales at a higher level. Retail level sales can be a real bastard, managers like to be king of their own little world, and treat their better staff worse, because they can get more quality work out of them for the same as they're paying the worthless ones who they can't find grounds to fire and replace. I don't know the job availability in your area, but I can think of plenty of things which would suit your skills, that are likely to pay you more.