This is the best joke ever! No one as creepy as the person you describe could write so beautifully. Your words are like honey that fall from your luscious fingertips onto the keyboard and permeate throughout my being. So lovely is your exquisite prose that I, myself, do not forsee a future for myself that does not involve you in it, my muse. I shall dedicate my waking life to the beauty of your mind and the pleasuring of my genitals. You are the spirit of light in my darkened existence, and I love you. Deeply.
Like Lucky Charms...Only Yummier!