First is merely technical. A few double posts on here...try and avoid that if you can, eh?
Second is in relation to DR's comments. Totally agree mate...you know my views on this and other stuff...and I certainly agree with point 1)
And the love across the pond thing...
Thirdly...good for you Bazzle but sadly it doesn't always work that way.
Fourthly...ryan's right, I agree...rather break it off than cheat.
Now...to focus more on Princess' comments as they were more direct.
Yes, cheating online is cheating...I caught my dad cheating on my mum online, and I sure as hell think of him as cheating on her...cheating isn't about the sex so much as the sharing of intimacy, however it's shared...even if it's a chat about really close intimate feelings.
On the point of honesty, I didn't think it's selfless, just the better option. Because eventually the truth will always come out, and I think hearing the ENTIRE neighbourhood talking about it is bound to hurt the person more? Especially if they join IN the gossip before knowing who it is that's being talked about. Total honesty will at least allow the other partner to move on, and I would guess the distrust would be less than if the spouse has been strung along for say 3 or 4 years...I mean surely you'd feel like a fool and begin to blame yourself for not seeing it? I dunno, never been through it, but I've always felt honesty full stop to be a good trait...I'm honest 99% of the time...of course the odd white lie takes up that 1% as it's a sad reality of life we all have to lie to get by, like why you were late for a job interview (it's never because you overslept, but because the trains cocked up).
Sorry, but yeah, what you did with that guy...that's cheating in my book. It's not my place to judge you, but just saying if I was your spouse I'd think it cheating. Sure it hurt him but undoubtably he could have found out another way and it might've been even more hurtful. True, if you can honestly say there was NO way anyone else you know could've seen you two together, or overheard the conversation or anything like that, then yeah, perhaps you might be able to say lying was better, but I'm not entirely sure even then. For me honesty is a cornerstone of any relationship, as is trust, and respect. Sadly you broke the last one (there really wasn't mutual respect in cheating), and you broke the bond of trust (hence the hurt caused to him), but at least you CAN say you were honest...without that your relationship would've lost all three key components, and for me that's a dead relationship.
Ahh...you think my views are the result of regrets? No...I've never had a relationship of any kind...so I suppose it's easy for me to say "I'd never cheat"...but I honestly believe I've waited so long for a relationship that once I found it, I'd never want to waste it by cheating. I'd rather break the relationship off and know I handled myself with honour and treated my partner with respect and dignity. Of course this is all a hypothesis I undoubtably will never get to test as no woman would be bonkers enough to have me