Originally Posted by Jacoby
I agree with the people who think she's screwing you over. Basically she wants more options but at the same time wants you to still be there for her if she doesn't find anything better. Making you her puppy. <snip>
You posted this a month ago, though. So it's probably worked itself out, but that's what I think about the situation.
One question. Did you ever sleep with this woman? The answer to that one question should make a difference in how you handle the situation.
1) No I never slept with her.
Since I'm the poster child for this sort of thing; (Married 20 years, 15 good ones and 5 waiting for her to sign the divorce papers.) Let her go. If she comes back, you both will have great stories to tell. Odds are she is already gone.
Do any of you guys listen to "The Blues?" Do you know what a "backdoor man" is? There are so many great songs about this sort of situation. Go buy a "Koko Taylor" record. Play it for awhile, and go find you a woman who loves you to love. There are more women out there than men.
2) Yes, we are lovers.
You'd better talk this through. Your options are limited. I know many men who end up paying child support for 18 years to a woman they never sleep with again. Especially in Texas. Their laws are very strange. My daughter has to send my granddaughter out to Houston about once a month to see her other grandparents. The granddaughter's father is never there. The absent parent must pay transportation to see the granddaughter. Actually, the grandparents pay, the father is r$%^&*. Enough! ).
(The following statement does not apply to my daughter, believe me, I know.) Note that several of the abandoned fathers I know later had dna tests done, found out they were not the father, had to pay the child support anyway. (The mother was sleeping with both of them and picked the one she thought would pay.)
In which case you might need this link.
I agree with Tabrasa below. And I wanted to add the caution about AIDS and (the equivalent of) cheating spouses. You do not want to sleep with someone who is "sleeping around". If she slept with you, and is looking for better, she is most likely sleeping with the candidates.