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Old 06-09-2005, 10:17 AM   Attended an OMGWTFKKWBBQ! Moderator #33
acliff
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: London
Posts: 1,818
Story number 2: The Dressing-gown of Doom

This aformentioned housemate of horror(tm) was a sloth. He tried to hide it, but he was basically ginger. We found out in a pretty horrible way...

The story begins when we first start living as a group. After bickerings about food, partially due to HoH's complete lack of taste, failed shopping trips, horribly cokked dinners, and me and Duckula's fairly refined eating habits, we decided not to cook together. Around about that time, we began to notice that HoH seemed to be always wearing his dressing gown.
He didn't go to lectures, he didn't do any work, he just went out in the evenings, adding to his considerable bulk in alcohol fat, slept till 4pm, and roamed around the house in this goddamn dressing gown for a couple of hours, before going to the 'dungeon' a rock club which was about as dirty as the name suggests.

Now we did not ONCE see him wash this dressing gown. Confirmed by the fact that it started stinking really really bad. Considering he went to the bog in it, I have the sneaky suspicion that he wipes his arse on it. It certainly smells like he has. He went to the shower with it, he came out the shower with it, he cooked in it, he sat on the sofa in it...

After a while, there was only so much I could cope with, and I told him to wash it, or we would burn it. To show how incredibly lazy he was, he didn't actually wash it, instead he stopped wearing it. Which, you might think, is a bonus. Very unforunately for us, that meant that he came out the shower topless. I will never be able to burn those images from my brain. A great big folded red mass of spots and fat, with ginger tufts. *shiver*

Anyways I thank christ I wasn't the one who walked in on him jerking off...
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