Originally Posted by duckula
Seems technically sound from what I know of the subject, some decent imigary but like your other works I have read it fails to move me. In summary, needs soul.
Meh...won't move everyone...anyway Ducky...you're an immovable man, remember?
I found it moving...because it spoke to me of experiences I've had...maybe it's not the same for everyone.
The key thing, like someone else says is that I think it flows and reads perfectly...and for me the sentiment is powerful and vague enough to appeal to many.