You know as much about women as you do beer.
Your uber-narcissim may work with some women, but trust me, the only reason they're with you is because there is a full length mirror over your shoulder. And it's very "slimming". The only women who find your "playa" style attractive are those even more narcissistic than you...which I'll admit, is hard...but they do exist.
Tell you what, you can fuck all of the shallow, self-absorbed half wits you want. Just feel free to post your letters to Penthouse somewhere else.
"Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham."
I'll try being nicer...if you'll try being smarter.