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Old 15-10-2004, 12:09 AM   #23
NearokA's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: seattle, washington
Posts: 256
Originally Posted by hasselbrad
I was married for five years, and trust me, there's more to a relationship than "keeping the magic alive".
But, since we are talking about Dyce's situation, let's leave marriage out of it.
Christ, Dyce...tell me you haven't already bought a ring!
Since Dyce intimated the fact that he doesn't have a cell phone, and I know that he is in college, I'll put two and two together and say money's probably a bit tight for a whole new wardrobe. If she gets all hot and bothered over a new shirt, you probably don't want to go there. If all you want is sex, fine, but from the tenor of your post, you want more. So long as you are neatly dressed, I don't think she'll take issue.
In addition, Dyce says he's not real good at stuff like this, so putting on some kind of cock-o'-the-walk preening show will probably make him come off simply as a cock. Be natural. Women who are looking for players may not dig your vibe, but women looking for someone they can trust will.
Oh, and Near...I hope you don't go into sales as a career. You always need to have an "advocate". If this girl and her best friend have scheduled all of their classes together, chances are that if you act like a dick toward the friend, you'll have a snowball's chance in hell with her. If the friend likes you, when your bonny lass tells her "Dylan asked me out", she'll be more likely to say "I like him...y'all would make a cute couple."
Instead of "that guy's a dick."
Good luck, Dyce Juan.
Hassel, you posted something meaningful for once.

Keeping the magic alive is more than just sex. It's love. Hassel, if you ever want to hear my theories, I'd be happy to share them with you. I mean, we could learn from each other, you being practical and me being theoretical. Together we'll fair much better than doing it alone. But you do have to agree with me, marriage ain't no walk in the park.

The term "hit" doesn't mean phsyically beat her. I meant that if the woman burns you, then ask the friend out. hehe. Doesn't hurt right?

Hassel, I assumed that Dyce was a nice guy when he got burned 9 times. The nice thing just isn't working. If gorgeous women wanted nice guys, Hassel, you would be dating a supermodel.

Nice is too easy. Everybody's nice, but does everybody get laid by gorgeous women? No. Well who does get laid by gorgeous women? People who present an air of power and control. So why try and fight it? I give what women want. If they wanted nice, I'd be Bambi. Truth is, you gotta do something to get her attention and keep you in her mind. THat's not to say be a jackass. I mean, I never told Dyce to be a jackass. I simply told Dyce that if I were in love with a woman, this is what how I'd go about it. He got burned several time in the past, would it hurt him to try a new appoarch? It may not go well with him, I realize this. He can choose two options: (1) Conclude that Nearoka doesn't know what he's talking about and continue being a nice guy or (2) Conclude that he hasn't yet perfected what Nearoka was talking about and will try and fix his mistakes with the next bombshell. I'll be happy with whatever choice he makes. Afterall, if he's not getting laid by gorgeous women, it's just more for me.

O and I make it a point to never deal with a 3rd party advocate. If she needs her "friend" to convice her that she likes me, then the whole relationship is fake.

You are right to tell Dyce that clothes doesn't matter. That is true if Dyce chooses the women as the object of desire, that is, he chases the woman. But if you want to flip the tables here, you need good clothes. If Dyce wants the woman to chase him, he's gotta be stylin. And there are ways to be stylin without having to get expensive (although money makes things alot easier).

And lastly, I bet if I were in a bar with Leonie, I could be cocky and make her laugh. If you really want to challenge me on this, buy me plane tickets to Europe, and I'll show you. THe truth is, if you apply the right look and the right tone, she'll have no reason to be angry, because she knows you're just playing with her. Of course, these are things I cannot write about nor can you infer from my writing, you just have to be there, you know? And do you know why they laugh? Because they know you're being a moron and at first, they are laughing because of the moment and the situation, but sooner or later, they will start laughing because they enjoy it. And thus, they enjoy your company. And thus, they will go out of their way to be with you. Of course you can take things too far and be irritating. Judge the situation by observing her body language.

Hassel, never go to a bar to pick up women. Go to a bar and have a nice time. Your idea of a nice time may well be to sit and chat with women and if you do that, move around the bar and speak to multiple groups of women. Then if you find the one you like (after say, a half hour to an hour), approach her again and be funny and cocky and have a great time (and apply the princple of her buying you a drink). And after this, end things lightly and be on your way. If she made an impression on you, then stop midway and take out a pen and paper and say, O I forgot to ask you about your phone number. Here, write it down. I'd like very much to continue our discussion in the future. Hassel, you of all people should know that marriage is harder than picking up single women. You should be the bravest of us all, for you have seen hell, and survived.

Get a new wardrobe. Get a new attitude. And get laid. And don't forget to have fun.
I against I,
flesh of my flesh,
and mind of my mind,
two of a kind but one won't survive,
my images reflect in the enemies eye,
and his images reflect in mine the same time,
--Mos Def
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