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Dyce_Blue 13-10-2004 06:48 PM

My Turn
 
OK, I'll try to explain this the best I can...

There is this girl at school. She is in two of my four classes, and she parks in the same lot as me.

Long story short: I like her.

I finally got the balls to go and talk to her yesterday, and I met her and her friend. Today, my friend and I were walking about 20 feet behind her and her friend in the parking lot, and she was acting a little flamboyant. It's hard to explain, but it is the way I act around a girl I like. There was definitely some eye contact between her and I, but she would always look away quickly, so I couldn't wave or anything.

Tomorrow, the only class I have is with her, then we both leave to the same parking lot.

What do I do?

I don't want to get stuck in "friend mode" with her.

THE ONE PROBLEM: She always has this same friend with her.


I know there is something there, but I'm not quite good with this type of stuff.


Help me out please.

Clinton 13-10-2004 07:04 PM

Stop being a pus** and talk to her. Ask her if you can talk alone if her friend is there. See if she wants to go out for a harmless coffee sometime. See if she has MSN then you can talk to her alone and it would be easier, cause it seems you have a problem talking to girls in person. Tell her how you feel and see if she wants the same thing. Don’t be afraid of rejection, just be yourself.

Foeni 13-10-2004 07:22 PM

Must agree with Clinton, if you don't do something nothing will happen (Newton's 1st law btw). Get to class just after she arrives and get to sit next to her. Don't be shy, that's very important. Do you know the friend she is always hanging out with? If you do, ask her if she mind leaving her friend for a little while so you can get to talk to her in private. If you don't know the girl, don't even go there.

hasselbrad 13-10-2004 07:32 PM

Whatever you do, just don't "whip it out." (Sorry...a little J&SB humor)
Seriously, you kids have it so easy these days. Cellphones, text messaging, e-mail and instant messaging have made this so much easier. Back in my day *in old man voice* we had to talk to girls face to face...or worse, call them, at home and face having to speak to an unsympathetic sibling or *gulp* a father!
She has a friend, you have a friend. See if everyone wants to go get some lunch. Make sure your friend knows he's "mighty wingman". It will be a little more relaxed and y'all will be able to get to know each other without the awkwardness of staring at each other over the table, in silence, trying to think of something to say.
After this, you will be able to say, "do you think you and I could go out sometime?"

Dyce_Blue 13-10-2004 08:25 PM

...
 
By the way:

I: She has every single class with the same friend. They went to High School together and planned identical schedules.

II: I don't have a cell phone.

Jacoby 13-10-2004 08:39 PM

1.) Kill her friend. 2.) Steal girl. 3.) Celebrate.

I'm just kidding Dyce...obviously :icon_err: . But seriously, if you want to impress her, buy a mesh shirt, and flex. Show her yer guns.

If I were in this situation, I would just wait 'til her friend isn't there. But, if you actually want something to happen, just go talk to her. Tell her how many online friends you have.

hasselbrad 13-10-2004 08:44 PM

Well then you are going to have to charm her as well. Be likable. Don't ignore the friend. If she likes you, she'll be more willing to be an "advocate" for you.
I'm sorry you don't have a cell phone. How do you manage? :p

Dyce_Blue 13-10-2004 10:41 PM

so....
 
I should take my time, right?

Just talk to her for now?

Call me a wussy, but I don't want this one to go wrong. I went through high school with an 0-9 record with the ladies. I really think this girl and I can get together. Any more advice?

Foeni 13-10-2004 11:27 PM

Be yourself! If you pretend be something you are not she will be mighty disappointed when she realizes that you've lied...

dying to live 14-10-2004 12:00 AM

Damn, its been a long time since ive been here
 
sup dyce, the problem sounds familiar..

like Foeni said, just be yourself. Take time to realize that shes a human being, another person, like you and me. But, yeah man, take your time like you told me, take a breathe, and do your best. Like you told me complement her on her looks, maybe bring up a conversation about her car, the weather, tv, movies, homework (something). Damn, but identical classes, thats a little too much, i think everyone needs space sometimes.

good luck!
wish me some too. go online sometime, Late.

marry rich people 14-10-2004 12:24 AM

Most girls and people in general like outgoing people. Those are the people that have the know the most people and make the most friends. So don't be afraid. If there's eye contact that's a major plus so just casually run into her and bring up something about class. Use some of that manly charm

NearokA 14-10-2004 03:58 AM

Dyce, I'm going to offer what I would do if I were in your situation.

First off, it ain't about being yourself. That's lame, and boring. And it ain't about being a faker either. What you want is to represent yourself in a position of power. In short, you need confidence. What I suggest you do is walk around like you own this high school. Walk tall, walk with a straight back, and walk with a manly swagger. But don't overdo the swagger. It helps to buy good clothes too. Personally I like to wear nice leather shoes, a white dress shirt that's a little tight, but still loose and untucked, and unbuttoned the top two buttons (3 if you include the collar button) and unbutton the wrist buttons. You want a sloppy style, like you just don't give a f*ck. Next, a pair of some faded jeans is always needed; darker blue jeans is preferable as the fade contrast is very noticable. It doesn't hurt to have a nice watch and a couple of rings and maybe a necklace, but jewelry isn't necessary. This is just an example, I encourage you to find your own style. If you feel confident about the way you dress, you'll definately feel confident about the way you present yourself to others.

Next, you need to work on your voice. If you have a piano or something, you can press the alto keys and figure out which tone you like best. Everyday before school, for 15 minutes, I want you to hum this tone. And focus on the tone while you're humming. If you really are a nervous wreck, I want you to do this 3 times a day. Clarity and voice tone are very important. The lower tone voice you can pull off, generally, the better you are but don't go really deep, some women like the alto sounds anyway.

What you're trying to do with these things is get the woman to pursue you! You want to change the object of desire from her and put yourself in a position where you are the object of desire for her and she's the one with the nervous breakdown.

One trick is to do your homework and maybe even get ahead in your classes. When the teacher asks a question to the class, answer it with your newly found voice tone. It will get her to notice you. And do it on more than one occasion.

Another trick is when she's walking down the hallway, look at her in the eyes and if she looks back at you, don't be a pussy, maintain that eye contact. And whatever it is that you were doing, just stop. The only that should be moving is your head following her. If she shys away or whatever, keep looking at her until she's outta sight. That way if she makes a quick glance again, she knows you're still checking her out. If it turns into a staring competition for about 5 minutes or so, walk up to her and gently and slowly play with her hair or get really close, face to face. What you want to do here is let the woman initiate verbal communication. If she never says anything, continue to bring up the level of body language until she does say something. Body language says alot more than words.

And finally, talk to the girl. Who cares about her friend? so what? If she burns you, hit on her friend, yeah! Find ways to be with her. Like join her group or bump into her from time to time. I usually start conversation with compliments about what she's wearing or how well her complexion looks or how nice her hair is. From that you generally want to probe her and find out what you guys have in common and go from there. And after you've had a really great converstion full of energy, end things lightly and start walking away. Then stop yourself midway, and politely ask for her phone number. Be like, O and by the way, write down your phone number so we can continue this discussion another time. Again, the body language is important. It's as if you don't care whether or not you get her digits.

When you do call her, keep things light and concise and to the point. Get her to go to lunch or something but don't drone on about your day on the phone. You want to do most of your talking, face to face.

This is all just my opinion. You can take it however seriously you want. ANd if she does burn you, I mean, it's not the end of the world. There will be others. You can't force her to love you, so just move on.

Ordinarly I would not write a response like this. But you recommended me to stay away from the expensive proactiv shiet and I thank you for it. I was thinking of using it myself.

Foeni 14-10-2004 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NearokA
First off, it ain't about being yourself. That's lame, and boring. And it ain't about being a faker either. What you want is to represent yourself in a position of power.

Yes it IS about being yourself. What you are talking about NearokA is just the way you present yourself. There's a big difference. Other than that, your advice seems fine, so go ahead Dyce ;)

apoggy 14-10-2004 02:25 PM

Take the advice of lonely heart...

hasselbrad 14-10-2004 03:28 PM

Yes. The twenty one year old who claims to have had one serious relationship four years ago would be the place I'd stop for advice.
I'm not good at math...that would make him seventeen, right?

NearokA 14-10-2004 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hasselbrad
Yes. The twenty one year old who claims to have had one serious relationship four years ago would be the place I'd stop for advice.
I'm not good at math...that would make him seventeen, right?

Hassel, you read my letters!! :D

Girls are easy. Relationships are hard. Getting the woman is the easy part, keeping her interested is the hard part. If you want to keep a woman, I can only offer you my theories of what I've come up with sitting here thinking and reading because you're right, I don't have much experience in keeping a woman.

Dyce, think PoW-ErFuL. The women will come to you. Although they may never initate verbal communication at first, you're a player, you know how to work women the right way and get them to talk to you first! hehe. Think big, and you'll be big.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hasselbrad
After this, you will be able to say, "do you think you and I could go out sometime?"

Pansy. :p .
Naeroka edit: Let's go out for beers and ice cream tomorrow. I'll pick you up after school, O, and don't be late. I like my women punctual.

You see, there is a little bit of cockiness here but not over-the-top. That's what you want to do.

Clinton 14-10-2004 04:20 PM

Okay what Naeroka said was not bad, however all that stuff about wearing all these stylish clothes and shit. Don’t worry about that there’s no need for it. BE YOURSELF!!!!! Sure be and feel confident, but in your own way. I’m sure you have your own style and what not. And all that stuff about the tone of your voice forget it. What a serious waste of time. Speak to her as if she was a friend of yours for years, Joke, laugh, have a good time.

Leonie 14-10-2004 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NearokA
Pansy. :p .
Naeroka edit: Let's go out for beers and ice cream tomorrow. I'll pick you up after school, O, and don't be late. I like my women punctual.

You see, there is a little bit of cockiness here but not over-the-top. That's what you want to do.

lol

If a guy would tell me 'Don't be late, I like my women punctual,' I'd tell him to try and find one of those women, someone who doesn't think he's an arrogant bastard when he says that. Not too cocky? What planet are you from? :icon_razz

hasselbrad 14-10-2004 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leonie
lol

If a guy would tell me 'Don't be late, I like my women punctual,' I'd tell him to try and find one of those women, someone who doesn't think he's an arrogant bastard when he says that. Not too cocky? What planet are you from? :icon_razz

I would pay money...and a lot of it...for a videotape of Nearoka trying to pick Leonie up in a bar. That would make for compelling reality TV.

Jacoby 14-10-2004 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NearokA

Girls are easy. Relationships are hard. Getting the woman is the easy part, keeping her interested is the hard part.

Listen, Nearoka, you make it sound like relationships are some sort of game. "keeping her interested is the hard part..." If she's not interested in you, then don't try to make her interested. I mean, I couldn't be content with a woman who I knew was losing a lot of interest in me. You seem like you're uncomfortable with yourself, and that's not very good. The whole outfit you told Dyce to wear... You don't have to change your whole style to approach a girl. I don't know much about girls, but I'm sure they wouldn't want someone who changes their style all the time. I dunno, don't take advice from me, I have very little experience.

Anyways, good luck, Dyce. I hope it all works out. Take a pic of her and post it.


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