duckula
16-10-2004, 10:53 PM
Please citizens, do not adjust your top hats, all social conventions have been observed and Grandmama has been placated with a good tot of gin in her tea.
It has come to our attention that people have taken upon themselves a certain disregard for etiquette. I have thusly taken it upon myself to educate you according to Mrs. Foxworthy's Rules For Conduct In The Public Arena.
Rule the first: All mobile phonic ringtones capable of such adjustment must be set to either a ringtone providing an auditory experience similar to that of a normal household telephone or the theme tune for Beverly Hills Cop.
Rule the second: Vegetarianism is against God's work. His most glorious self provided us with delicious treats on legs. To not partake of their goodness in conjunction with creamy mashed potatoes is a sin.
Rule the third: The purchase of a disc of compacted music is not to be accompanied by exhortations that the creative minds behind this musical event are the greatest thing since beige tea cozies. You must bear in mind that because you are common, ignorant and ugly you lack discernment and any modicum of taste and thus your choices will reflect that. As an addendum to this may I point out that I don't care if your band is blazing a path to the new musical rennaisance and that should you attempt to play me their music I will not only tear them and their material to pieces, I will physically beat you into submission with my cane and well heeled boot.
That is all, remember, you are stupid, poor and your opinions are worthless.
It has come to our attention that people have taken upon themselves a certain disregard for etiquette. I have thusly taken it upon myself to educate you according to Mrs. Foxworthy's Rules For Conduct In The Public Arena.
Rule the first: All mobile phonic ringtones capable of such adjustment must be set to either a ringtone providing an auditory experience similar to that of a normal household telephone or the theme tune for Beverly Hills Cop.
Rule the second: Vegetarianism is against God's work. His most glorious self provided us with delicious treats on legs. To not partake of their goodness in conjunction with creamy mashed potatoes is a sin.
Rule the third: The purchase of a disc of compacted music is not to be accompanied by exhortations that the creative minds behind this musical event are the greatest thing since beige tea cozies. You must bear in mind that because you are common, ignorant and ugly you lack discernment and any modicum of taste and thus your choices will reflect that. As an addendum to this may I point out that I don't care if your band is blazing a path to the new musical rennaisance and that should you attempt to play me their music I will not only tear them and their material to pieces, I will physically beat you into submission with my cane and well heeled boot.
That is all, remember, you are stupid, poor and your opinions are worthless.