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View Full Version : Do Not Adjust Your Top Hats!


duckula
16-10-2004, 10:53 PM
Please citizens, do not adjust your top hats, all social conventions have been observed and Grandmama has been placated with a good tot of gin in her tea.

It has come to our attention that people have taken upon themselves a certain disregard for etiquette. I have thusly taken it upon myself to educate you according to Mrs. Foxworthy's Rules For Conduct In The Public Arena.

Rule the first: All mobile phonic ringtones capable of such adjustment must be set to either a ringtone providing an auditory experience similar to that of a normal household telephone or the theme tune for Beverly Hills Cop.

Rule the second: Vegetarianism is against God's work. His most glorious self provided us with delicious treats on legs. To not partake of their goodness in conjunction with creamy mashed potatoes is a sin.

Rule the third: The purchase of a disc of compacted music is not to be accompanied by exhortations that the creative minds behind this musical event are the greatest thing since beige tea cozies. You must bear in mind that because you are common, ignorant and ugly you lack discernment and any modicum of taste and thus your choices will reflect that. As an addendum to this may I point out that I don't care if your band is blazing a path to the new musical rennaisance and that should you attempt to play me their music I will not only tear them and their material to pieces, I will physically beat you into submission with my cane and well heeled boot.

That is all, remember, you are stupid, poor and your opinions are worthless.

deviljet88
17-10-2004, 12:44 AM
Since my opinions are worthless, I'll say this anyway. RULE 1 SUCKS! I'd say so do you, but I'd get a ban... Or I might not since my opinions are worthless... What a wonderful world I live in.

Spire
17-10-2004, 04:31 AM
Rule one is awesome, although it's ripped directly from Conan O'Brien.

acliff
17-10-2004, 07:59 AM
Rule one is awesome, although it's ripped directly from Conan O'Brien.

Fuck off cockjockey, uninspired comments such as yours have no place in this thread. Partially because we don't get Conan O'Brian in England.

hasselbrad
17-10-2004, 04:19 PM
I live my life by rule #2.
Vegetables should be consumed only if they are:
-Stewed to a pulp along with God's aforementioned treats
-Slathered in cornmeal batter and deep fried

Foeni
17-10-2004, 04:25 PM
First: I don't get the idea of this thread!?!
That said, rule #2 is awesome!

Jacoby
17-10-2004, 04:29 PM
First: I don't get the idea of this thread!?!!

Duckula's trying to bring back the fun to the KKW.

I take offence to rule #3.

barrington
17-10-2004, 05:13 PM
Delicious treats on legs!
Oh, how the whimsical japes have returned.

Shame about the buggery.

Spire
18-10-2004, 01:41 AM
Verbose jibberish does not equal fun.