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Dyce_Blue
13-10-2004, 06:48 PM
OK, I'll try to explain this the best I can...

There is this girl at school. She is in two of my four classes, and she parks in the same lot as me.

Long story short: I like her.

I finally got the balls to go and talk to her yesterday, and I met her and her friend. Today, my friend and I were walking about 20 feet behind her and her friend in the parking lot, and she was acting a little flamboyant. It's hard to explain, but it is the way I act around a girl I like. There was definitely some eye contact between her and I, but she would always look away quickly, so I couldn't wave or anything.

Tomorrow, the only class I have is with her, then we both leave to the same parking lot.

What do I do?

I don't want to get stuck in "friend mode" with her.

THE ONE PROBLEM: She always has this same friend with her.


I know there is something there, but I'm not quite good with this type of stuff.


Help me out please.

Clinton
13-10-2004, 07:04 PM
Stop being a pus** and talk to her. Ask her if you can talk alone if her friend is there. See if she wants to go out for a harmless coffee sometime. See if she has MSN then you can talk to her alone and it would be easier, cause it seems you have a problem talking to girls in person. Tell her how you feel and see if she wants the same thing. Don’t be afraid of rejection, just be yourself.

Foeni
13-10-2004, 07:22 PM
Must agree with Clinton, if you don't do something nothing will happen (Newton's 1st law btw). Get to class just after she arrives and get to sit next to her. Don't be shy, that's very important. Do you know the friend she is always hanging out with? If you do, ask her if she mind leaving her friend for a little while so you can get to talk to her in private. If you don't know the girl, don't even go there.

hasselbrad
13-10-2004, 07:32 PM
Whatever you do, just don't "whip it out." (Sorry...a little J&SB humor)
Seriously, you kids have it so easy these days. Cellphones, text messaging, e-mail and instant messaging have made this so much easier. Back in my day *in old man voice* we had to talk to girls face to face...or worse, call them, at home and face having to speak to an unsympathetic sibling or *gulp* a father!
She has a friend, you have a friend. See if everyone wants to go get some lunch. Make sure your friend knows he's "mighty wingman". It will be a little more relaxed and y'all will be able to get to know each other without the awkwardness of staring at each other over the table, in silence, trying to think of something to say.
After this, you will be able to say, "do you think you and I could go out sometime?"

Dyce_Blue
13-10-2004, 08:25 PM
By the way:

I: She has every single class with the same friend. They went to High School together and planned identical schedules.

II: I don't have a cell phone.

Jacoby
13-10-2004, 08:39 PM
1.) Kill her friend. 2.) Steal girl. 3.) Celebrate.

I'm just kidding Dyce...obviously :icon_err: . But seriously, if you want to impress her, buy a mesh shirt, and flex. Show her yer guns.

If I were in this situation, I would just wait 'til her friend isn't there. But, if you actually want something to happen, just go talk to her. Tell her how many online friends you have.

hasselbrad
13-10-2004, 08:44 PM
Well then you are going to have to charm her as well. Be likable. Don't ignore the friend. If she likes you, she'll be more willing to be an "advocate" for you.
I'm sorry you don't have a cell phone. How do you manage? :p

Dyce_Blue
13-10-2004, 10:41 PM
I should take my time, right?

Just talk to her for now?

Call me a wussy, but I don't want this one to go wrong. I went through high school with an 0-9 record with the ladies. I really think this girl and I can get together. Any more advice?

Foeni
13-10-2004, 11:27 PM
Be yourself! If you pretend be something you are not she will be mighty disappointed when she realizes that you've lied...

dying to live
14-10-2004, 12:00 AM
sup dyce, the problem sounds familiar..

like Foeni said, just be yourself. Take time to realize that shes a human being, another person, like you and me. But, yeah man, take your time like you told me, take a breathe, and do your best. Like you told me complement her on her looks, maybe bring up a conversation about her car, the weather, tv, movies, homework (something). Damn, but identical classes, thats a little too much, i think everyone needs space sometimes.

good luck!
wish me some too. go online sometime, Late.

marry rich people
14-10-2004, 12:24 AM
Most girls and people in general like outgoing people. Those are the people that have the know the most people and make the most friends. So don't be afraid. If there's eye contact that's a major plus so just casually run into her and bring up something about class. Use some of that manly charm

NearokA
14-10-2004, 03:58 AM
Dyce, I'm going to offer what I would do if I were in your situation.

First off, it ain't about being yourself. That's lame, and boring. And it ain't about being a faker either. What you want is to represent yourself in a position of power. In short, you need confidence. What I suggest you do is walk around like you own this high school. Walk tall, walk with a straight back, and walk with a manly swagger. But don't overdo the swagger. It helps to buy good clothes too. Personally I like to wear nice leather shoes, a white dress shirt that's a little tight, but still loose and untucked, and unbuttoned the top two buttons (3 if you include the collar button) and unbutton the wrist buttons. You want a sloppy style, like you just don't give a f*ck. Next, a pair of some faded jeans is always needed; darker blue jeans is preferable as the fade contrast is very noticable. It doesn't hurt to have a nice watch and a couple of rings and maybe a necklace, but jewelry isn't necessary. This is just an example, I encourage you to find your own style. If you feel confident about the way you dress, you'll definately feel confident about the way you present yourself to others.

Next, you need to work on your voice. If you have a piano or something, you can press the alto keys and figure out which tone you like best. Everyday before school, for 15 minutes, I want you to hum this tone. And focus on the tone while you're humming. If you really are a nervous wreck, I want you to do this 3 times a day. Clarity and voice tone are very important. The lower tone voice you can pull off, generally, the better you are but don't go really deep, some women like the alto sounds anyway.

What you're trying to do with these things is get the woman to pursue you! You want to change the object of desire from her and put yourself in a position where you are the object of desire for her and she's the one with the nervous breakdown.

One trick is to do your homework and maybe even get ahead in your classes. When the teacher asks a question to the class, answer it with your newly found voice tone. It will get her to notice you. And do it on more than one occasion.

Another trick is when she's walking down the hallway, look at her in the eyes and if she looks back at you, don't be a pussy, maintain that eye contact. And whatever it is that you were doing, just stop. The only that should be moving is your head following her. If she shys away or whatever, keep looking at her until she's outta sight. That way if she makes a quick glance again, she knows you're still checking her out. If it turns into a staring competition for about 5 minutes or so, walk up to her and gently and slowly play with her hair or get really close, face to face. What you want to do here is let the woman initiate verbal communication. If she never says anything, continue to bring up the level of body language until she does say something. Body language says alot more than words.

And finally, talk to the girl. Who cares about her friend? so what? If she burns you, hit on her friend, yeah! Find ways to be with her. Like join her group or bump into her from time to time. I usually start conversation with compliments about what she's wearing or how well her complexion looks or how nice her hair is. From that you generally want to probe her and find out what you guys have in common and go from there. And after you've had a really great converstion full of energy, end things lightly and start walking away. Then stop yourself midway, and politely ask for her phone number. Be like, O and by the way, write down your phone number so we can continue this discussion another time. Again, the body language is important. It's as if you don't care whether or not you get her digits.

When you do call her, keep things light and concise and to the point. Get her to go to lunch or something but don't drone on about your day on the phone. You want to do most of your talking, face to face.

This is all just my opinion. You can take it however seriously you want. ANd if she does burn you, I mean, it's not the end of the world. There will be others. You can't force her to love you, so just move on.

Ordinarly I would not write a response like this. But you recommended me to stay away from the expensive proactiv shiet and I thank you for it. I was thinking of using it myself.

Foeni
14-10-2004, 10:18 AM
First off, it ain't about being yourself. That's lame, and boring. And it ain't about being a faker either. What you want is to represent yourself in a position of power.

Yes it IS about being yourself. What you are talking about NearokA is just the way you present yourself. There's a big difference. Other than that, your advice seems fine, so go ahead Dyce ;)

apoggy
14-10-2004, 02:25 PM
Take the advice of lonely heart...

hasselbrad
14-10-2004, 03:28 PM
Yes. The twenty one year old who claims to have had one serious relationship four years ago would be the place I'd stop for advice.
I'm not good at math...that would make him seventeen, right?

NearokA
14-10-2004, 04:08 PM
Yes. The twenty one year old who claims to have had one serious relationship four years ago would be the place I'd stop for advice.
I'm not good at math...that would make him seventeen, right?

Hassel, you read my letters!! :D

Girls are easy. Relationships are hard. Getting the woman is the easy part, keeping her interested is the hard part. If you want to keep a woman, I can only offer you my theories of what I've come up with sitting here thinking and reading because you're right, I don't have much experience in keeping a woman.

Dyce, think PoW-ErFuL. The women will come to you. Although they may never initate verbal communication at first, you're a player, you know how to work women the right way and get them to talk to you first! hehe. Think big, and you'll be big.

After this, you will be able to say, "do you think you and I could go out sometime?"

Pansy. :p .
Naeroka edit: Let's go out for beers and ice cream tomorrow. I'll pick you up after school, O, and don't be late. I like my women punctual.

You see, there is a little bit of cockiness here but not over-the-top. That's what you want to do.

Clinton
14-10-2004, 04:20 PM
Okay what Naeroka said was not bad, however all that stuff about wearing all these stylish clothes and shit. Don’t worry about that there’s no need for it. BE YOURSELF!!!!! Sure be and feel confident, but in your own way. I’m sure you have your own style and what not. And all that stuff about the tone of your voice forget it. What a serious waste of time. Speak to her as if she was a friend of yours for years, Joke, laugh, have a good time.

Leonie
14-10-2004, 06:25 PM
Pansy. :p .
Naeroka edit: Let's go out for beers and ice cream tomorrow. I'll pick you up after school, O, and don't be late. I like my women punctual.

You see, there is a little bit of cockiness here but not over-the-top. That's what you want to do.

lol

If a guy would tell me 'Don't be late, I like my women punctual,' I'd tell him to try and find one of those women, someone who doesn't think he's an arrogant bastard when he says that. Not too cocky? What planet are you from? :icon_razz

hasselbrad
14-10-2004, 06:44 PM
lol

If a guy would tell me 'Don't be late, I like my women punctual,' I'd tell him to try and find one of those women, someone who doesn't think he's an arrogant bastard when he says that. Not too cocky? What planet are you from? :icon_razz

I would pay money...and a lot of it...for a videotape of Nearoka trying to pick Leonie up in a bar. That would make for compelling reality TV.

Jacoby
14-10-2004, 06:54 PM
Girls are easy. Relationships are hard. Getting the woman is the easy part, keeping her interested is the hard part.



Listen, Nearoka, you make it sound like relationships are some sort of game. "keeping her interested is the hard part..." If she's not interested in you, then don't try to make her interested. I mean, I couldn't be content with a woman who I knew was losing a lot of interest in me. You seem like you're uncomfortable with yourself, and that's not very good. The whole outfit you told Dyce to wear... You don't have to change your whole style to approach a girl. I don't know much about girls, but I'm sure they wouldn't want someone who changes their style all the time. I dunno, don't take advice from me, I have very little experience.

Anyways, good luck, Dyce. I hope it all works out. Take a pic of her and post it.

NearokA
14-10-2004, 07:33 PM
lol

If a guy would tell me 'Don't be late, I like my women punctual,' I'd tell him to try and find one of those women, someone who doesn't think he's an arrogant bastard when he says that. Not too cocky? What planet are you from? :icon_razz

lol.

Nah, too cocky would be: bitch, get in the car! :p

And Hassel, I don't pick women up in a bar, they pick me up. lol. Anyways, I don't go to bars to pick up women. I go to bars to chill and relax.

Jacoby, get married for 5 years. Come back, and then tell me if you still feel that way about women. If you ask ANY married couple, they will all tell you this, relationships are a bitch and it takes alot of effort to keep the magic alive. I don't know if you know this or not, but crazy love love seldom lasts for more than a year.

hasselbrad
14-10-2004, 10:55 PM
I was married for five years, and trust me, there's more to a relationship than "keeping the magic alive".
But, since we are talking about Dyce's situation, let's leave marriage out of it.
Christ, Dyce...tell me you haven't already bought a ring! :p
Anyway...
Since Dyce intimated the fact that he doesn't have a cell phone, and I know that he is in college, I'll put two and two together and say money's probably a bit tight for a whole new wardrobe. If she gets all hot and bothered over a new shirt, you probably don't want to go there. If all you want is sex, fine, but from the tenor of your post, you want more. So long as you are neatly dressed, I don't think she'll take issue.
In addition, Dyce says he's not real good at stuff like this, so putting on some kind of cock-o'-the-walk preening show will probably make him come off simply as a cock. Be natural. Women who are looking for players may not dig your vibe, but women looking for someone they can trust will.
Oh, and Near...I hope you don't go into sales as a career. You always need to have an "advocate". If this girl and her best friend have scheduled all of their classes together, chances are that if you act like a dick toward the friend, you'll have a snowball's chance in hell with her. If the friend likes you, when your bonny lass tells her "Dylan asked me out", she'll be more likely to say "I like him...y'all would make a cute couple."
Instead of "that guy's a dick."
Good luck, Dyce Juan.

NearokA
15-10-2004, 12:09 AM
I was married for five years, and trust me, there's more to a relationship than "keeping the magic alive".
But, since we are talking about Dyce's situation, let's leave marriage out of it.
Christ, Dyce...tell me you haven't already bought a ring! :p
Anyway...
Since Dyce intimated the fact that he doesn't have a cell phone, and I know that he is in college, I'll put two and two together and say money's probably a bit tight for a whole new wardrobe. If she gets all hot and bothered over a new shirt, you probably don't want to go there. If all you want is sex, fine, but from the tenor of your post, you want more. So long as you are neatly dressed, I don't think she'll take issue.
In addition, Dyce says he's not real good at stuff like this, so putting on some kind of cock-o'-the-walk preening show will probably make him come off simply as a cock. Be natural. Women who are looking for players may not dig your vibe, but women looking for someone they can trust will.
Oh, and Near...I hope you don't go into sales as a career. You always need to have an "advocate". If this girl and her best friend have scheduled all of their classes together, chances are that if you act like a dick toward the friend, you'll have a snowball's chance in hell with her. If the friend likes you, when your bonny lass tells her "Dylan asked me out", she'll be more likely to say "I like him...y'all would make a cute couple."
Instead of "that guy's a dick."
Good luck, Dyce Juan.

Hassel, you posted something meaningful for once. :p

Keeping the magic alive is more than just sex. It's love. Hassel, if you ever want to hear my theories, I'd be happy to share them with you. I mean, we could learn from each other, you being practical and me being theoretical. Together we'll fair much better than doing it alone. But you do have to agree with me, marriage ain't no walk in the park.

The term "hit" doesn't mean phsyically beat her. I meant that if the woman burns you, then ask the friend out. hehe. Doesn't hurt right?

Hassel, I assumed that Dyce was a nice guy when he got burned 9 times. The nice thing just isn't working. If gorgeous women wanted nice guys, Hassel, you would be dating a supermodel.

Nice is too easy. Everybody's nice, but does everybody get laid by gorgeous women? No. Well who does get laid by gorgeous women? People who present an air of power and control. So why try and fight it? I give what women want. If they wanted nice, I'd be Bambi. Truth is, you gotta do something to get her attention and keep you in her mind. THat's not to say be a jackass. I mean, I never told Dyce to be a jackass. I simply told Dyce that if I were in love with a woman, this is what how I'd go about it. He got burned several time in the past, would it hurt him to try a new appoarch? It may not go well with him, I realize this. He can choose two options: (1) Conclude that Nearoka doesn't know what he's talking about and continue being a nice guy or (2) Conclude that he hasn't yet perfected what Nearoka was talking about and will try and fix his mistakes with the next bombshell. I'll be happy with whatever choice he makes. Afterall, if he's not getting laid by gorgeous women, it's just more for me. :p

O and I make it a point to never deal with a 3rd party advocate. If she needs her "friend" to convice her that she likes me, then the whole relationship is fake.

You are right to tell Dyce that clothes doesn't matter. That is true if Dyce chooses the women as the object of desire, that is, he chases the woman. But if you want to flip the tables here, you need good clothes. If Dyce wants the woman to chase him, he's gotta be stylin. And there are ways to be stylin without having to get expensive (although money makes things alot easier).

And lastly, I bet if I were in a bar with Leonie, I could be cocky and make her laugh. If you really want to challenge me on this, buy me plane tickets to Europe, and I'll show you. THe truth is, if you apply the right look and the right tone, she'll have no reason to be angry, because she knows you're just playing with her. Of course, these are things I cannot write about nor can you infer from my writing, you just have to be there, you know? And do you know why they laugh? Because they know you're being a moron and at first, they are laughing because of the moment and the situation, but sooner or later, they will start laughing because they enjoy it. And thus, they enjoy your company. And thus, they will go out of their way to be with you. Of course you can take things too far and be irritating. Judge the situation by observing her body language.

Hassel, never go to a bar to pick up women. Go to a bar and have a nice time. Your idea of a nice time may well be to sit and chat with women and if you do that, move around the bar and speak to multiple groups of women. Then if you find the one you like (after say, a half hour to an hour), approach her again and be funny and cocky and have a great time (and apply the princple of her buying you a drink). And after this, end things lightly and be on your way. If she made an impression on you, then stop midway and take out a pen and paper and say, O I forgot to ask you about your phone number. Here, write it down. I'd like very much to continue our discussion in the future. Hassel, you of all people should know that marriage is harder than picking up single women. You should be the bravest of us all, for you have seen hell, and survived.

Get a new wardrobe. Get a new attitude. And get laid. And don't forget to have fun.

marry rich people
15-10-2004, 01:18 AM
From a girl's point of view I can tell you, NearokA,that a lot of the things you just said are really not true. A guy doesn't have to be "stylin" to get a girl to want him. And about the whole advocate thing; sometimes it takes someone else to open uo your eyes to how good a person might be for you. I'd like to know if you have ever actually tested any of your "theories" and had them actually work. Love/lust/ whatever form of a relationship it is isn't like math with all these set formulas.

Dyce_Blue
15-10-2004, 06:03 PM
What a fucking idiot I was. I cannot believe how stupid I acted. I should have just gone with my original hunch and stayed away.

I don't feel like explaining the tangled backstory, but I will since my life is worthless anyway.

So yesterday, I wrote her a note in class asking if she wanted to do something afterwards. She wrote back saying that she had to go to work and that maybe we could do something on Friday since she has a break between classes. She also said something like "Oh yeah, sorry i didnt say hey or anything yesterday, I just thought that you didn't remember me." Thinking pessimistically at the time, I assumed that this meant: "I hope you didn't remember me". I put this out of mind.

This brings me to today, when I was surprisingly optimistic and confident. My plan was to meet her outside math class (where I usually see her), turn my homework in, and skip to go hang out with her and her friend.

When I arrived at school, I was in luck! The parking spot right next to her car was open (which is surprising because her first class starts an hour before mine), so I parked in it. I waited outside my math class until the whole class had piled out. There was no sign of her.

They snuck out the back door of the classroom to avoid me.

I was still optimistic though, because I would see them after history class, and our cars were parked together. After class, I walked out to the parking lot with one of my friends until I realized she wasn't coming. After I said goodbye to him, I stood outside my car only to see her in the passenger seat of this other girl's car, circling the parking lot. Only after I pulled off, did they stop in front of her car.

I'm a fucking idiot. I cannot believe I got my hopes up once again. It just always seems to end this way...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v352/dyce_blue/stuff.jpg

hasselbrad
15-10-2004, 06:29 PM
I'm sorry. I don't know what to tell you except that if she didn't have the nerve, decency or simple human kindness to face you and be honest, she isn't worth your time.

Clinton
15-10-2004, 06:45 PM
Whoa! thats a bitch move. I can't believe she did that, wow! Girls can be mean sometimes, like they know that they can crush you at any given moment.

deviljet88
16-10-2004, 12:09 AM
Woah that's tight Dyce, sorry to read about it.

Dyce_Blue
16-10-2004, 01:16 AM
How could I let myself be so naive again. Haha, I thought she liked me. Geez...what a fucking moron.


I notice that the KKW ladies don't have much to say about this...

Jasper
16-10-2004, 02:08 AM
Damn, that sucks Dyce. Women can be bitches sometimes.

Good news is, if she's such a bitch... its better that you didn't go out with her.

NearokA
16-10-2004, 02:37 AM
Damn, that sucks Dyce. Women can be bitches sometimes.

Good news is, if she's such a bitch... its better that you didn't go out with her.

Don't say that about women, ever, unless you just playing with them. Have some respect and manners. She wasn't a bitch, she did what any teen would do. That's the way they are. Just as most of the women on this forum think I'm a complete moron. I mean, what are you gonna do? Try and change them? They just gonna laugh at you more. How about try and change yourself because that's the only thing you can do.

Life's full of pimp slaps Dyce. I know that more than anyone, believe me, you don't wanna know how many times I've failed in life and how many times I reached the brink of giving up (and these are more serious than getting laid). Smoke a blunt, drink some beer, and man the fuuck up. Women come and go man, but your integrity stays with you until you die.

Love yourself enough to improve. Love yourself enough to get ripped. Love yourself enough to figure out what the hell you did wrong. And most importantly, love yourself enough to get up, and try again.

Don't give up on love and it won't give up on you.

O, and I don't ever want to read, "I'm a fucking idiot" or "I should of just stayed away" again. Ever. I'm serious here. Don't ever take sides against yourself and don't ever tell yourself you not good enough for something.

Jasper
16-10-2004, 04:33 AM
Don't say that about women, ever, unless you just playing with them. Have some respect and manners. She wasn't a bitch, she did what any teen would do. That's the way they are. Just as most of the women on this forum think I'm a complete moron. I mean, what are you gonna do? Try and change them? They just gonna laugh at you more. How about try and change yourself because that's the only thing you can do.

First off, I wasn't saying that all women are bitches. I was saying that she was a bitch.

Secondly, this isn't some 16 year old girl... she was in college, and should be more mature.

Thirdly, It's not just the women on this forum that think your a moron... its everyone.

Hope this clears things up for you.

NearokA
16-10-2004, 05:22 AM
First off, I wasn't saying that all women are bitches. I was saying that she was a bitch.

Secondly, this isn't some 16 year old girl... she was in college, and should be more mature.

Thirdly, It's not just the women on this forum that think your a moron... its everyone.

Hope this clears things up for you.

18 is still teen. Try not to make yourself look stupider than you really are, jackass. lol. Please read the post.

O and I hope that clears things up for you.

Leonie
16-10-2004, 07:42 AM
Try not to make yourself look stupider than you really are, jackass. lol.

The irony.

NearokA
16-10-2004, 01:45 PM
The irony.

I love you Leonie :p

I'll dedicate a special set of pictures just for you. hehe.

Jasper
16-10-2004, 05:42 PM
18 is still teen. Try not to make yourself look stupider than you really are, jackass. lol. Please read the post.

O and I hope that clears things up for you.

lol... you do know that "stupider" is not a word, right?

Jacoby
17-10-2004, 12:33 AM
Have some respect and manners. (refering to women)

Didn't you say in a different thread that the girls here want to suck your balls? Or something queer like that? Hopefully you use acne creame on your balse.

Dyce...daaaaaa ssuuuuuuuck. Be optimistic, I mean, you still have your hands, right? Your right hand will never do something as childish as that girl did. Your right hand could never avoid you (unless, like, it becomes possessed and runs away from you and shit - like in that movie Idle Hands,) it's your slave. A legal slave. I'm only kidding, Dill, don't worry about this girl. It's obvious that she's not worth it, like someone mentioned before. It's hard to believe this girl would be so fucking stupid about it.

Foeni
17-10-2004, 05:39 PM
You are all very busy saying that this girl is a bitch. Yes, she may very well be, but what if she was only shy? What if she was only afraid of making a fool of herself if she had to talk to you alone? It's much easier to send a person a note than to talk to the person. Why would she then suggest the two of you hang out another time? Wouldn't it be much easier to just write 'Can't today sorry. Am very busy'? I (unfortunately) have experience with girls doing that. My lates crush did that :(
My advice: Confront her, tell her that you waited for her but didn't see her. Pretend you don't know she was avoiding you.

Liam
18-10-2004, 11:37 AM
As terrible as this sounds - the picture made me laugh. A lot.

Don't take it to heart dude. Incredibly, Nearoka has a point:

O, and I don't ever want to read, "I'm a fucking idiot" or "I should of just stayed away" again. Ever. I'm serious here. Don't ever take sides against yourself and don't ever tell yourself you not good enough for something.

It doesnt particularly bother me, but its not the way to be thinking. I wasted a lot of time thinking like that after a particularly nasty break up. Its just about as life-destroying as listening to the Rasmus.
For serious.

dying to live
21-10-2004, 03:40 AM
girls are girls
so many girls = so many personalities;

Keep your head up Dyce, don't let this one let you down, you got a script to write :)

Hazzle
21-10-2004, 03:11 PM
As terrible as this sounds - the picture made me laugh. A lot.

Don't take it to heart dude. Incredibly, Nearoka has a point:


Yes...quite amazing Nearoka made a couple of decent comments on the thread. He's still entirely inconsistent, he talks about respect for women but acts like a prick (well I suppose he has to make up for not HAVING one), and I wouldn't really follow much of his advice, but the confidence thing is actually pretty solid advice.

It's not really about the clothes, but he's right in saying clothes can make you confident (and you know what things have that effect on you...it needn't be new shit you go out and buy it may be stuff you already own that makes you feel...invincible), however confidence is all in the head. And yes, it is crucial to be confident, I doubt any girls would disagree with that...there is, however, a fine line between confidence and arrogance and Nearoka crosses it regularly.

Oh, and yeah, don't batter yourself about past cock ups. Trust me, my record's a FAIR bit worse than 0-10 and I put that entirely down to a lack of confidence and battering myself about past cock ups...

Finally, I don't THINK Nearoka's a moron. He IS one. Such is the gospel according to Hazzle...he has spoken.

ryan
21-10-2004, 09:33 PM
As terrible as this sounds - the picture made me laugh. A lot.

Don't take it to heart dude. Incredibly, Nearoka has a point:



It doesnt particularly bother me, but its not the way to be thinking. I wasted a lot of time thinking like that after a particularly nasty break up. Its just about as life-destroying as listening to the Rasmus.
For serious.

that's about how i'm feeling these past 3 weeks...completely worthless.

Hazzle
21-10-2004, 09:40 PM
that's about how i'm feeling these past 3 weeks...completely worthless.

Sucketh. Muchly. I daresay a fair whack of the male population of KKW at least (and who knows, maybe even a fair whack of the female population too) knows that feeling only too well. You have my sympathy mate, and I doubt I'm the only one.

bob
21-10-2004, 10:34 PM
is it just me, or is the "relationships & sexuality" thread a place to discuss the evils of women?

Hazzle
21-10-2004, 10:49 PM
is it just me, or is the "relationships & sexuality" thread a place to discuss the evils of women?

Nope, it's not just you, but we love it this way :D We're only speaking the truth and you know it lass :p

Earendur
21-10-2004, 10:56 PM
I don't want to get stuck in "friend mode" with her.THE ONE PROBLEM: She always has this same friend with her.


Hmmm i got same prob with a girl i like at college i think i taken to long and i know where in "Friend mode" the worse thing is two other friends are always with her so it makes it real hard for me.

Snap her up before anyone else does!
Talk to her and tell her how you feel etc because you'll only regret it if you dont ;)

Jasper
22-10-2004, 02:37 AM
Hmmm i got same prob with a girl i like at college i think i taken to long and i know where in "Friend mode" the worse thing is two other friends are always with her so it makes it real hard for me.

Snap her up before anyone else does!
Talk to her and tell her how you feel etc because you'll only regret it if you dont ;)

Umm... try reading the rest of the thread, k?

Dyce_Blue
29-10-2004, 08:49 PM
I got back to my car today, and she had left me a note with her phone number on it...

hasselbrad
29-10-2004, 08:53 PM
Sweet...I guess?
In the back of my mind, I thought she might have had some reason that had nothing to do with you.
Are you cool with this?

Renegade
30-10-2004, 12:44 AM
I got back to my car today, and she had left me a note with her phone number on it...

How do you know it's her number? For all you know, the number could lead back to a broken down asian restaurant in between a dark alley and a crackhouse full of whores who do coke lines in exchange for kim chee and chow mein.

Hazzle
30-10-2004, 01:18 AM
Sweet...I guess?
In the back of my mind, I thought she might have had some reason that had nothing to do with you.
Are you cool with this?

She may well have just been shy, or unsure of herself, or anything. It's basically now, as Hassel says, up to Dycey how he proceeds. I mean...if it was me, I'd want an explanation for the earlier scene, and I suppose it's up to you if you need one or not. And whether you believe the one she gives. It's over to you Dycey Boy.

Dyce_Blue
30-11-2004, 08:19 PM
So, for the past 2 months I have been in one of the worst situations of my life. This girl played me, chewed me up, and spit me out. I guess she just wanted to be friends but she led me on for the longest time.

If anyone is interested, I have about 5 AIM conversations saved where she goes crazy and gets mad at me for no reason. What horrible luck I have.

no doubt 0/10

Donnie Dorko
30-11-2004, 09:03 PM
Ouch, you have my sympathies.

Ashley
30-11-2004, 11:37 PM
You know, it's girls like this who give girls a bad name. I'll agree with the fella who called her a bitch.

Dyce_Blue
17-12-2004, 03:40 AM
If she hadn't hurt me enough already, "she" was on AIM today. She spent an hour pretending to be infatuated with me until i finally asked her out again. In which case she continued to act all lovey-dovey.

A minute later, her cousin got on AIM and said that it was him all along. The only problem with that is: earlier, to be sure it was her, I asked 3 questions that ONLY SHE would know. She answered them all correctly.

He could've been typing, but she was there too, probably laughing in my face. Keep in mind, this is the same girl from before, the reason I started this thread.

:(

Renegade
17-12-2004, 03:43 AM
That sucks. And that folks, is why the telophone is one of mankind's greatest innovations.

hasselbrad
17-12-2004, 12:35 PM
Everytime you post something about this girl, it makes me think of Anthrax's Startin' Up A Posse just for this line...

...You fucking whores (you fuckin’ whores)
That’s all you are (cunty, cunty, cunty, cunt)

Pygmalion
20-12-2004, 07:25 AM
She must be a bitch to be able to do that to you, and if she Is a bitch and the kind of girl to do that to someone, she's not worth it.
Not that I'm one to talk :P look at my relationship...

Dyce_Blue
24-12-2004, 07:52 PM
So for this girl's birthday about a month and a half ago, I bought her the OC season 1 DVD. I looked EVERYWHERE to get it, and at my 4th Best Buy/Circuit City, I grabbed one of the last ones they had. This put me back at least a half tank of gas and $70 for the DVD.

Is it rude to want it back after all she did to me?

I would never ask her for it, but assuming how underappreciative she was to get it, I may have her brother steal it for me.

...any feedback?

Jacoby
24-12-2004, 08:09 PM
Don't be an asshole. Especially not to a girl.

ryan
24-12-2004, 09:00 PM
Don't be an asshole. Especially not to a girl.

HA!

girls love assholes, yet claim they don't want one.

with enough experience, you'll realize that's all they date.

Jacoby
24-12-2004, 10:01 PM
Maybe the girls you're interested in, Ryan. Not the ones I am. The ex-popular girls seem to go for the asses.

ryan
24-12-2004, 10:29 PM
Maybe the girls you're interested in, Ryan. Not the ones I am. The ex-popular girls seem to go for the asses.

much to learn, you have.
every girl ive met or even tried to become close to has always gone with the asshole because they're more mysterious and more of a challenge than a nice guy.
nice guys are predictable and boring. girls want someone they have to work for.
thats why i hate being a nice guy so much.

fact.

Melvin
24-12-2004, 10:35 PM
I think Ryan makes some good points but goes too far. I don't think women like being jerked around but they also don't like being smothered, and in my experience a good mix of being a bit of arsehole once in a while, a bit of work, but not too much, that's the way to go. Keep it interesting, keep it fun, be enigmatic and mysterious without totally treating her like crap, but at the same time don't deify her because that gets old fast.

I don't think it's as simple or black and white as girls want bastards or girls want nice guys, I think it's somewhere in the middle. There is such a thing as being too nice to the point where it gets annoying and smothering. There are also valid times to get angry, be a bit of an arsehole, because if you're justified in being it she'll realise that, eventually. Women are reasonable creatures, when they're calm, rational and unemotional (which isn't that often, granted).

Jacoby
24-12-2004, 10:44 PM
much to learn, you have.
every girl ive met or even tried to become close to has always gone with the asshole because they're more mysterious and more of a challenge than a nice guy.
nice guys are predictable and boring. girls want someone they have to work for.
thats why i hate being a nice guy so much.

fact.

Do you live in a highschool or something? Honestly, the girls I've met haven't always been like that. But whatever. You do have all the wisdom of a 20 year-old, so I better not question you. I'll stick with the nice guy thing, though. I'll tell you how it works out in 10 years. It would suck if you're right.

Dyce_Blue
11-03-2005, 12:29 AM
it happened again.

different girl.

I got played again...

dave
26-01-2006, 10:18 AM
How do you know it's her number? For all you know, the number could lead back to a broken down Asian restaurant in between a dark alley and a crackhouse full of whores who do coke lines in exchange for kim chee and chow mein.

Just send the number to me, I'll do the right thing with it... In the meantime, start reading some of the "Burke" series of books by Andrew Vachss... His phone number leads to a "broken down Asian restaurant in between a dark alley and a crackhouse full of whores". And I love his style. Andrew Vachss Website (http://www.vachss.com/)
The Burke Series (http://www.vachss.com/av_novels/burke_novels.html)

In the meantime, assuming that you are about 20, do yourself a favor. Ask out a thirty year old woman. You will be surprised at how much you enjoy the company of adult women. You'll gain all the experience you currently lack, and have fun as well. They are better dancers and conversationalists. When they talk/argue it is from logic and knowledge, not merely peer group consensus of opinion. They also are adult enough to pay half so you can go out twice as much. And you cannot believe how much better the sex will be. Just stay away from the married ones.

How many of the movie star women do you think are under thirty? Just Keira, Britney, and Christina... That tells you that only one in three is worth knowing. Forgot about Kirsten Dunst, Jessica Simpson and Jessica Alba, although I'm beginning to worry about a couple of them, too.

Tabrasa
27-01-2006, 03:39 AM
My wife Wendy loves to discuss this topic, as she loves to throw her Masters in Anthropology expertise in there. Although I do have to agree with some of what she says. She tells me that under basic instincts, women are drawn to the need of having a strong provider (good looking, confident, successful, strong-willed, decisive)... unfortunately somewhere in the mix they are mistakenly drawn to loud, abusive, egotistic arseholes because they give that hard self-confident signal that cuts right down the basic instincts. Hence being drawn to the "Bad boys".

I don't know if she's right or wrong with assumptions, but it has a ring of truth to it from my experiences. Nice, shy, sensitive guys don't seem to hit that instinctual hot-spot from my observations in my life, despite being good-looking or not. When I was in my 20's I had a long string of being crushed for being a nice guy, and finally one day I snapped and said to myself "I'm going to be like the rest of the military arsehole guys I know, go out, find the best looking girl I can at the club, treat her like shyt, take her home, and throw her out in the morning". I did, found the hottest girl at the club, was a cocky son-of-a-bytch, even abusive in my conversation, and she jumped all over me. The more I was a jerk and tried to get rid of her, the more it seemed to turn her on. I'd tell her to go away and I never wanted to see her again, and she'd stalk me like a fanatic and wind up in my dorm room naked waiting for me. Took me three months to finally be rid of that crazy woman. But it wasn't me, nor who or how I was. I felt horrible for the whole fiasco and weirded out by how freakishly this drop-dead gorgeous girl latched on to me and behaved. Finally years later I met a woman who liked the me for me, and liked the "nice" guy. I've had many female friends over the years ask me "Why do I always get the total arseholes? Just one after another?", and I think on this mixed signal "bad boy" theory. All I can say is keep looking, eventually you'll find the right one who'll like you for who you are, not a false front, clothes, cockiness, or what car you drive.
Tab

dave
27-01-2006, 05:01 AM
My wife Wendy loves to discuss this topic, as she loves to throw her Masters in Anthropology expertise in there. Although I do have to agree with some of what she says. She tells me that under basic instincts, women are drawn to the need of having a strong provider (good looking, confident, successful, strong-willed, decisive)... <snip>

I don't know if she's right or wrong with assumptions, but it has a ring of truth to it from my experiences. <snip>
Tab

I've noticed another thing as well. We all seem to try to "fix" our offspring. Tall girls date short guys. (More often, short girls date tall guys.) Ladies with large noses go giddy over guys with tiny ones. (Relatively speaking.) I suspect that someone, somewhere, has studied this propensity.

Sometime soon we will all be peloponesian(?) (i.e. look like the beautiful Hawaiian people.) Golden brown, tall and muscular, etc.

Kirby
31-01-2006, 05:20 AM
OMGosh I know! its amazing! we go for our complete opposites normally, or if we are self absorbed we go for the ones that look exactly like us! :icon_conf its crazy how we work.......and wouldn;t we all love to be that way, tall tan and gorgeous@! :)

dave
08-02-2006, 12:54 AM
You started this thread with this post:
OK, I'll try to explain this the best I can...

There is this girl at school. She is in two of my four classes, and she parks in the same lot as me.

Long story short: I like her.

I finally got the balls to go and talk to her yesterday, and I met her and her friend. Today, my friend and I were walking about 20 feet behind her and her friend in the parking lot, and she was acting a little flamboyant. It's hard to explain, but it is the way I act around a girl I like. There was definitely some eye contact between her and I, but she would always look away quickly, so I couldn't wave or anything.

Tomorrow, the only class I have is with her, then we both leave to the same parking lot.

What do I do?
<snip>
After a couple of days you added this post:

What a fucking idiot I was. I cannot believe how stupid I acted. I should have just gone with my original hunch and stayed away.

I don't feel like explaining the tangled backstory, but I will since my life is worthless anyway.

So yesterday, I wrote her a note in class asking if she wanted to do something afterwards. <snip>

This brings me to today, when I was surprisingly optimistic and confident. My plan was to meet her outside math class (where I usually see her), turn my homework in, and skip to go hang out with her and her friend. <snip> They snuck out the back door of the classroom to avoid me.
After not quite a month and a half you added this post:
So for this girl's birthday about a month and a half ago, I bought her the OC season 1 DVD. I looked EVERYWHERE to get it, and at my 4th Best Buy/Circuit City, I grabbed one of the last ones they had. This put me back at least a half tank of gas and $70 for the DVD. <snip> ...any feedback?
And you are asking for feedback...

Unless you are extremely rich, a $70.00 gift for a girl that you have only spoken to once on the way to the parking lot is excessive. The very fact that you know her birthday is suspect. You are doing things that are "wrong" on every level.

When I first read this I was new to the board, and I didn't realize that the post was over a year old. I hope that you have grown up in the last year and are not still trying to impress women with inappropriate expensive gifts before you have talked with them at least twice. If you are a devotee of the idea that you can fall in "love at first sight", you should realize that when people speak of that they are speaking of BOTH PEOPLE feeling that way. When both people feel that way they will BOTH feel that way. When only one person experiences that strong an attraction it is called "lust". Inappropriate lustful feelings should never be openly expressed. The way these internet conversations develop make it hard for people to realize what you were doing. You were "over the top".

Think about it from the lady's perspective. She gets a $70.00 "weird" gift from an almost stranger (you had no idea that she was an OC fan, or that she was "an OC type of girl.") You followed her around, trying to "talk". She had to assume that you were expecting an "OC" type of relationship, and were willing to pay for it. Were I her, I'd have had an older brother checking you out on the Internet, also. And, if you'd said anything wrong, I think the expression "beat the shit out of him" would have been discussed.

So, in the past year, what have you done to change? Have you taken some Psychology classes? Gone to some "group sessions"? Gotten a real girlfriend?