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Luthien
16-09-2004, 03:50 AM
OK, I need some serious help. Well, as some of you know from before, I've been homeschooled for the past three years, and went back to public school this year, freshman in highschool. Well, my 'best friend' has been completely ignoring me for half the summer, and all school year. She's been hanging out with a bunch of 'popular' people, who hate me, and has been dissing me behind my back. I mean, I walk into the bathroom the other day at lunch and she and her evil friends are re-putting on their make up, dissing me because I'm a "stupid jerk, really...doesn't even think Orlando Bloom or Viggo Mortensen are the reason Lord of the Rings is so cool...does she really think half the people would LIKE the pointless thing without hot guys?"
I mean, I was the one who INTRODUCED HER to LOTR in the first place! She used to be obsessed like me, but now is just another Viggo fangirl...I'm really sad, because I'm in, like, three of her classes, and she hasn't said a word to me. not so much as 'hi' or 'what's up?' or anything...

and, get this. In theater, which we're in together, we did this thing with partners, (she and I weren't partners) but over half the things her partner said she said, were my direct words, straight from my mouth.
"...Jules says that she wants to be an actress, and says that's been her secret wish forever...She likes acting trageties, and her dream role would be Juliet, from Romeo and Juliet, or Maria, from West Side Story..."
and so on, and so on, stealing almost every little bit from me, and looking directly at me, with a FRICKIN SMILE ON HER FACE!!!!!!!

So, I've been ignoring her too, but here's the problem: yesterday, she randomly came up to me, and said "Hey, Ing. Can I come over and see Athena?" (my new kitten)
I really don't want her to, but she lives down the street, and I just feel really mean saying 'no'... I sort of want to break all contact, because of what she's done to me (it's not just ignoring, she's been two-faces for a couple years now) but I don't want to be mean...I'm just not the kind of person to say "No way, bitch. You've been double-crossing me for two years, dissing me behind my back, and ignoring me all school year. So budge off, and leave me alone."
So..um..what should I do?

Leonie
16-09-2004, 07:00 AM
Why don't you let her come over, chat a bit, and who knows, you might even be able to resolve a couple of things. If she's been your friend for a long time it's worth trying to save the friendship, isn't it?

I think the best thing you could do is be honest with her. Tell her that you get the impression she's been ignoring you, and ask her why. If she lies, or is mean to you then at least you've tried... Where's the harm in that?

Based on your post things couldn't get any worse between the two of you. Why not try to make 'em better then :)

duckula
16-09-2004, 09:37 AM
I advocate taking her outside and giving her the beating she deserves.

CollisionStar
16-09-2004, 12:25 PM
Ouch.

Luthien
16-09-2004, 04:15 PM
Leonie: very good idea, I think I'll try! Yea, things really couldn't get worse... But here's somewhat of a different problem, all mixed in with this one..
Well, we both have the same English teacher, just different times, but the other day we had to write an inclass essay, and mine was chosen for an example, so she was telling everyone that 'the first one, the really good one is my best friend's essay!'
so her 'popular' friend got mad, so now she's trying to make her be friends again, meaning saying bad things about me, and trying to get me to be friends again, meaning saying bad things about this other girl.
I mean, she lies so much I don't really know when she's lying and when she's not, so I don't even know who it is she really wants to be her friend, and who she just wants to pretend to be friends with...

Duckula: now why do I get the feeling you haven't changed a bit? :p

CollisionStar: yep. major ouch.

Leonie
16-09-2004, 04:19 PM
Dunno how old she is, but she sounds like a normal insecure teenager to me. People are like that. They lie, and they're mean, just because they're afraid that if they don't, people will lie and be mean to them.

You however, choose not to take part in this pathetic roleplay. Good for you :) Neither did I. It's not gonna be easy, it wasn't for me anyway, but at least the friends you have when you're you are *real* friends, instead of number two and three on the list of most popular girls that would actually like to be number one.

Luthien
16-09-2004, 04:46 PM
I quite agree. (she's 14, like me)
but that's why I don't know if I should attempt to be friends again, because I just got with a new group of friends, and I don't really want her with us all the time, because I don't want her to double cross any of my new friends... *is even more confused*

PhoeniX
16-09-2004, 05:10 PM
Why don't you let her come over, chat a bit, and who knows, you might even be able to resolve a couple of things. If she's been your friend for a long time it's worth trying to save the friendship, isn't it?


Thats right Its happened to me and it worked then

Leonie
16-09-2004, 05:26 PM
Look at me being old and wise :D

It's true though, if she's been your friend for a long time it's worth fighting for her. There's no losing there. If you don't do anything you're going to lose her. If you talk to her you might be able to sort things out. You can only improve the current situation :)

Good luck! :)

frodo1511
16-09-2004, 11:06 PM
Invite her for Pie.
Pie cures all.

Dyce_Blue
17-09-2004, 02:24 AM
My "best friend" from 9th grade used to steal crap out of my backpack. One time he came to my house and tried to beat me up. One time he wrote on the back of my neck in history class.

Long story short: I made the basketball team and he didnt. I am going to UH, he is going to UH-D (a small community college-type offspring of UH).

Nice people eventually finish first.

deviljet88
17-09-2004, 12:10 PM
Ooo 14 year old troubles. I wisely do not have a best friend, but rather have 2 groups of friends, one is mainly Asians who I used to hung around 24/7 in year 7 and 8, and this year (year 9) I became friends with a more Australian group. That way, the regular backstabbers in the asian group attempt to get me, I can always just go off with the other group :) Call me disloyal, but at least I face little problems.

aznkkfan
19-09-2004, 02:08 AM
i say have some time apart from each other. i had a different kind of argument with a friend but it might work. she said i was lesbo just because i'm a fan of keira, so we separated from our little friendship. but we started talking again after the summer. i still think she thinks i'm lesbo but we're talking.

Elijahfan
19-09-2004, 02:09 PM
i say have some time apart from each other. i had a different kind of argument with a friend but it might work. she said i was lesbo just because i'm a fan of keira, so we separated from our little friendship. but we started talking again after the summer. i still think she thinks i'm lesbo but we're talking.

what a weird friend...that's when being coming the school slut will stop that thinking. okay just kidding....you're friend doesnt seem to be very open minded, that a girl can also admire a female actress.

as for luthien, you should try to work it out, be honest but not harsh with what you say to her, hostility doesnt work. if that fails go with the beating duckula suggested.

KeirazBabe
20-09-2004, 05:39 PM
Awww well best of luck, sounds like she'd be lucky o have a friend like you.. but dont waste too much time trying to solve it.. its her problem.. im glad youve got a new group of friends :D

Keep us posted n awww youve got a kitten! :D piccies?

xXx

wee me
24-09-2004, 09:56 PM
aw i lov kittens.
id tell it to her straight- tell her shes been a bitch and your not havin anymore of her shit. tell her if she wants to be mates again she needs to stop being so two-faced, and then tel her that you want to salvage ur friendship but you arent gonna let her treat you like the shit on her shoe. seriously, don't let her ppush you around

peach
25-09-2004, 08:46 PM
I don't know what to say, i've been trough the similar thing for years, still not knowing what to do in such situations. I remember this one time this girl who had been kinda like your friend to me for about three years and this forth year we were starting the first year in Secondary High School. It was just after the summer. She was asking me how I've been and if I missed 9th grade. I couldn't say a thing all I could get out of my mouth was "no". She hurt me so mutch, the memories still hurts. I wasn't really friends with her but sometimes she were nice and sometimes not and I didn't have anyonelse to talk to or work toghether with in school so what I decidedto do was to go through it. Now I can just laugh at her she had to start the first year two times over again in SHS. She deserves it. It's no use wasting time on people like that. I'm guessing you been trough a lot toghether and have loads of fun memmories and if it's worth fighting for, the do it. But if you feel the other way try to stick to your new friends and go on with your life as it is.

I wish you the best of luck, you deserv better.

Peach

johnnyboy
27-09-2004, 02:27 AM
I agree with duckula on this one, but first try and talk it out, and if she doesn't listen, beat her arse good

Luthien
01-10-2004, 04:16 AM
thanks to all of you for your kind suggestions, I've tried all of them...

Oddly enough, the situation is quite a bit more complex now. It happens that we have the same English teacher, only at different times. My essays have been the best for the past two (No, I'm not trying to be snobbish. I got incredibly embarissed when the teacher decided to announce that to the whole class...) so the teacher apparently suggested asking me for some writing tips. So she emails me "Hey, Ing... I heard your essay got a 5, so can I study it? mine only got a 2..." so I sent it to her, offering to read hers if she wanted, and she emails back "Omg! it's the best essay ever! yea, i'll send mine later tonight... would you read Jen's for her too?" (Jen's one of her new *cough* friends)
so I'm like "Sure....."
and she never sends it. The next day, she's like "Why didn't you give me comments for the essays?" and I'm just like "What essays!!!!! you've gotta frickin SEND them to me before I can read them for god's sake!!!!!"

so now she's just being a plain bitch, and is always tyring to steal help from me for English... I'm seriously concidering taking Duckula's advise....

Renegade
01-10-2004, 05:05 AM
Tsk tsk, stealing is wrong. Tell on your friend and force the teacher to administer a firm broomstick spanking. That'll show her.

apoggy
01-10-2004, 01:20 PM
Or get and older brother to make a forceful woman of her, she'll not say boo to a goose for years and cower in corners at the sign of a long hard object being thrust at her.

Scott
02-10-2004, 12:36 PM
Having mates is so much easier when your a bloke, and no I'm not trying to push male superiority, just here me out.

When my mate started being a tool, I hit him. He hit me, and I hit back, and it stopped when we were both badly bruised and bloody. We both got suspended from school for 3 days (school policy), and you know what we did?
Day 1: Had a game of golf
Day 2: Went to see Pirates of the Carribean
Day 3: Had another game of golf

Fighting my mate saved our friendship, I don't condone taking this sort of action (call me a hypocrit if you like), but sometimes you just need to hit people upside the back of the head to keep them in check.

lilpixie72
03-04-2006, 03:36 AM
I once had this friend who talked trash about me.We were both popular however I talked to almost anyone therefor I had a lot of people on my side.The start of the next school year she came up to me and asked if we could be friends again.I was like "Are you kidding me?You tell lies about me,you don't apologise and you expect me to behave like nothing happened".So I told her I'ld get back to her.
Two weeks later I told her we could resolve our differences but we would not be as close as we were before.
So I think you can have a little chat and see what happens.

devine kk
03-04-2006, 07:59 AM
Fighting my mate saved our friendship, I don't condone taking this sort of action (call me a hypocrit if you like), but sometimes you just need to hit people upside the back of the head to keep them in check.

This happened to me as well. I was friends with someone all through junior school (that 7-11 for you states side) and when we went up to comprehensive (12-18) he became a total arse. He got in with another group which i did not mind becasue so did i, we naturally went our seperate ways. However i can only put it down to jealousy but he and his new mates (led by him) started bullying me. This went on for a few days but i could not get him on his own to talk about it. So i waited for him near his house after school and when he came round the corner on his own i picked him up and threw him against a wall. Needless to say he saw my point of view and we have been friends ever since.

PhoeniX
03-04-2006, 01:32 PM
i picked him up and threw him against a wall. Needless to say he saw my point of view and we have been friends ever since.

Sometimes it doesn't work, I did the same thing when some guy I knew from Primary school (but we'd drifted apart) was annoying me and a couple of other people with his new friends repeatedly, I hit him when he was on his own to try and make him see sense I thought he did becuase he left us alone for a while.
Then a couple of months later his new friends just beat the shit out of me whilst he watched, now they hate him and beat him up so all is good, but sometimes people change too much that they can't understand what they are doing is wrong I guess is what I'm trying to say.

mehrdad368
03-04-2006, 05:22 PM
But i think it's good way in most of the time's to hit him.it show's your power.