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Elijahfan
28-06-2004, 04:39 PM
seriously i think love is a load of crap right now. i think i just have to be older to get it...last year in school (freshman in highschool) everything was shit. people would be "going out" for 2 days. nothing really made sense when you looked at their relationships. i think it's really stupid how young horny teenagers can think their in love. the whole highschool idea is really bull. i thought people got more mature when highschool came but i think i was really naive in thinking that. girls became sluts and boys became horny dogs.

barrington
28-06-2004, 05:58 PM
One way to guarantee you'll never find love is to go looking for it; took me the best part of 22 years and we didn't even particularly like each other at first.

There's nothing wrong with thinking you're in love when you're not - it only serves to make the real deal all the more powerful by contrast.

I can't believe I just gave out some reassuring relationship advice. Maybe this is me getting in touch with my feminine side. I'll have to fix that.

Julespaxton
28-06-2004, 07:25 PM
hey love in highschool can happen. I'mm a living example. I met this guy at a dance and we've been going out for ages now. We're very in love, but we know we're too young to get married....

Moe
28-06-2004, 07:26 PM
Sorry to drag this off-topic, but I am confused. What exactly does this
A board exclusively for our female members to call home! mean? Only the female board population may post here? Or how is this supposed to work?

barrington
28-06-2004, 07:42 PM
It's never been a hard and fast rule, but we've always encouraged the boys not to post in the Girls forum and it's generally worked well. The gents can post in this subform without hinderance. It was only allocated to the Girls because it was the most relevant place w/ref to the performance of the previous Girls forum on the old board.

ryan
28-06-2004, 08:48 PM
i personally think 'love' any time during or before high school (before you're 18) is a load of shit.
i dont think people know what they really want at that age and it's more wishful thinking than any real emotion.
a vast majority of people probably dont even find 'love' until their early-mid 20's, i'd say. by then, people are mature and experienced to know what they really want.

Julespaxton
28-06-2004, 08:58 PM
ok, i know it sounds odd, but it really has happend. I dont want people to think me batty or sumthin, but honestly in rare cases it does happen.

Ashley
28-06-2004, 09:02 PM
I believe it can happen. It didn't to me.... but to others sure. High school sweethearts getting married. It happens. Rare of course, but I fully believe it can happen.

ryan
28-06-2004, 09:05 PM
yes, its possible for "high school sweethearts" to get married, but i don't think they typically "fall in love" until later on in their lives. sure, they can stay together and date through high school and what not, but i bet most of the time, they finally figure out that they're meant to be later on in their lives. their 20's, perhaps.

Ashley
28-06-2004, 09:19 PM
I believe that your views of what love is changes all through your life. So in high school you'd be in love with the person who you can, I don't know, see yourself going to all the dances with and maybe it's more physical than intellectual. However, as you grow your relationship grows into the intellectual side. It goes from pysical love to intellectual love. So, you're in love in high school but in a different way, I less evolved way. Make any sense?

Jacoby
28-06-2004, 10:54 PM
What if you're 17 and you love the other person completely inside and out. I mean, I'm in highschool and, like Jules, am in love with someone. It's very true that highschool 'love' tends to be just physical attraction and doesn't last long. But in my case, it's the complete opposite, I truly love her and I know I always will. :)

Hazzle
28-06-2004, 10:57 PM
There are no hard and fast rules...simple rule of thumb is...when you are...you'll know...and sod anyone who says you don't know what you're feeling, as you do :p

I mean I know for a fact that Jacoby here told me he wouldn't leave the love of his life even if Natalie Portman turned up on his doorstep :D

Pygmalion
29-06-2004, 02:32 AM
Well even if I WANTED to I couldn't marry my highschool sweetheart since its illegal for same-sex couples to marry in the godforsaken hole of a continent that is Australia, so according to our government I can't be in love. Legally.

Kelsey
29-06-2004, 03:20 AM
I don't think you need to be a certain age to be in love - it's not like you just turn 18 and something clicks..."I'm 18 so now when I say 'I love you' it's automatically true.'" I've been in a few relationships, but I've been in (absolutely, positively) love once, and I'm 17. I don't think age matters at any time during life.

ryan
29-06-2004, 04:07 AM
i dont think people below a certain age are mature enough to feel what actual love is.
that's why i throw an age on it. it's probably when about most people begin to get an idea of what love is to them.
obviously you dont wake up one day and realize what love is, but i dont think you really know until you're an adult. anything before that is nothing more than confusion and/or wishful thinking.

Kelsey
29-06-2004, 08:17 AM
I guess different people have different experiences.

Liam
29-06-2004, 02:45 PM
Age has nothing to do with it.

Sure, a 12 year old isnt likely to have any idea about it, but honestly, whats the difference between being 17 and 200 days old and 18 and 1 day old? (Anyone who gives me a figure in days gets a fucking smack in the mouth). The whole thing about suddenly being entirely mature at age 18 is a crock.

I'm 21 and I've been in love once. It was the happiest time of my life and I'd give my right arm to go back to how it was.

I mean I know for a fact that Jacoby here told me he wouldn't leave the love of his life even if Natalie Portman turned up on his doorstep

Well...you are one of the few I told about my experience mate...and you know thats true about me. Thats what love does.

I can't believe I just gave out some reassuring relationship advice. Maybe this is me getting in touch with my feminine side. I'll have to fix that.

You are letting the team down old fruit. :D

Elijahfan
29-06-2004, 05:49 PM
thanks for everyone's views, they're very insightful... well continuing...

i just got cold mountain today (it came out). and i envy the love that jude law and nicole kidman's characters have. i think that's my ideal love, but it's always bad to get expectations for things, tend to always get let down. though i still love the movie and think what they have is just beautiful.

or when you just have something special, like my quote down below. i think that kind of being relaxed and cool around a person is really something.

ryan
29-06-2004, 06:40 PM
age is simply an average time when people can begin to develop said emotions. it's not mean to be a for sure rule to go by.

like i said before, its obvious that people dont realize what love is overnight. it happens over a long period of time, and i think that period of time begins near the end of one's teenage years or beginning of their twenties.
people without a certain degree of maturity can't feel 'actual' love, in my opinion. they only feel what they think is love.

Kelsey
29-06-2004, 06:49 PM
thanks for everyone's views, they're very insightful... well continuing...

i just got cold mountain today (it came out). and i envy the love that jude law and nicole kidman's characters have. i think that's my ideal love, but it's always bad to get expectations for things, tend to always get let down. though i still love the movie and think what they have is just beautiful.

or when you just have something special, like my quote down below. i think that kind of being relaxed and cool around a person is really something.

Heh...have you seen The Notebook yet? That's the kind of love I envy - I want a Noah!

Thanks for reminding me...I have to go buy Cold Mountain and The Perfect Score today. :)

ryan
29-06-2004, 08:12 PM
For those of us who haven't seen the movie, what kind of love do you speak of?

Ashley
29-06-2004, 08:26 PM
Age has nothing to do with it.
Sure, a 12 year old isnt likely to have any idea about it, but honestly, whats the difference between being 17 and 200 days old and 18 and 1 day old? (Anyone who gives me a figure in days gets a fucking smack in the mouth).

3984 hours difference... you never said anything about hours.

I agree. I had my heart crushed by a guy when I was 16, I feel I did love him. Age has nothing to do with it. It's the feelings, emotions can overpower age.
In the Notebook I've read a lot about the movie, it seems like it's a true love type deal. A Love so strong you'd wait for the other person for years becasue you know that's your one true love.
It's like A Walk to Remember, they were young but madly in love, so in love that Landon would do anything for Jaime, even though he knows he will lose her. Making all her wishes come true... ::goes off into a dream state:: They were like.. 17 or 18 I believe in the movie. Nicholas Sparks writes all those extremely romantic movie that makes me want to have someone like that.
My point is, love knows no age.

Jacoby
29-06-2004, 09:06 PM
I mean I know for a fact that Jacoby here told me he wouldn't leave the love of his life even if Natalie Portman turned up on his doorstep.
It's true :D


My point is, love knows no age.
Thank you.
I'm a firm believer that love is blind, even to age.

MeggieHoops
29-06-2004, 09:12 PM
I believe in love more than anything else, no matter how old you are. I also believe in love at first site.

I met a guy when I was in 6th grade and we've had our ups and downs and lefts and rights for the past 8 years, but we always find our way back to each other. From that first moment when I met him, I knew he was the one. And we aren't even together right now...but I still love him, and I know he loves me...we just can't do the relationship thing at the moment. But I honestly believe that I'll end up with him.

Hazzle
29-06-2004, 10:53 PM
Well even if I WANTED to I couldn't marry my highschool sweetheart since its illegal for same-sex couples to marry in the godforsaken hole of a continent that is Australia, so according to our government I can't be in love. Legally.

Disturbing how narrow minded governments are, isn't it?

I don't think you need to be a certain age to be in love - it's not like you just turn 18 and something clicks..."I'm 18 so now when I say 'I love you' it's automatically true.'" I've been in a few relationships, but I've been in (absolutely, positively) love once, and I'm 17. I don't think age matters at any time during life.

I agree...age really has nothing to do with it...

I guess different people have different experiences.

Truth.

Age has nothing to do with it.

Sure, a 12 year old isnt likely to have any idea about it, but honestly, whats the difference between being 17 and 200 days old and 18 and 1 day old? (Anyone who gives me a figure in days gets a fucking smack in the mouth).

Oh c'mon, you can't ask a question like that and expect me to leave it...it's (assuming there's no leap year involved) 166 days...if it's a leap year 167 :D

The whole thing about suddenly being entirely mature at age 18 is a crock.

Yup.

Well...you are one of the few I told about my experience mate...and you know thats true about me. Thats what love does.

I was just trying to make a funny mate...yeah...I know exactly what you mean...that one person becomes the single most important person in the world...wait...wtf am I doing? I'm not supposed to be soppy :D

In the Notebook I've read a lot about the movie, it seems like it's a true love type deal. A Love so strong you'd wait for the other person for years becasue you know that's your one true love.


Meh...Notebook Schmotebook...true love? Pfffft...

Pygmalion
30-06-2004, 09:08 AM
I agree. There's only lust.

Hazzle
30-06-2004, 10:17 PM
I agree. There's only lust.

So true...maybe we should have a thread on "thoughts on lust". Oooer...actually that sounds like a spiffeh idea...KKW porn :D

Sarah
30-06-2004, 10:26 PM
This is an interesting topic. But what I figure is this, most young people who believe they are in love, really aren't! Last year I could have sworn I was in love, I was infatuated with someone. I honestly believed I would love them forever. There was no one else for me, oh no.

That started around 2002. It's now July 2004 and I can't even stand to think about him. Some great love that turned out to be.

I'm young, I'm naive, I have crushes. And so do most other 17 year olds.

apoggy
30-06-2004, 10:38 PM
actually that sounds like a spiffeh idea...KKW porn :D

Post your naked pictures

No trolls, boys or men

Hazzle
30-06-2004, 10:48 PM
Post your naked pictures

No trolls, boys or men

Arrr...gg me...I just spawned the bestest thread EVAR...I'll save you all the hideousness that is me naked until a more appropriate time...I think never sounds about right :)

apoggy
30-06-2004, 10:51 PM
Posting your naked pic would be against my rules and therefore just plain wrong. Don't cross me mister!

acliff
01-07-2004, 09:11 AM
On the topic of love and maturity:
Emotional maturity is entirely relative. Based on genetic and real world factors, requires experience. Unfortunately it seems that Emotional maturity is gained by having bad experiences, making you hurt for what you've lost.

In my opinion thats what distinguishes lust, love and just really really liking someone. Its how you feel when you lose them. Then you can guage for yourself what level it takes for you to be in love.

Which is why I don't believe love can really happen at a young age. You might go through the motions, but how would you know if its the real thing?
Bear in mind, in many cultures in the past, they married children at the age of 12-13. Partially due to the expected life span, but also so they could grow into love. They may have been less civilised, but divorce rates can't be as high as they are now... :P

DragonRat
01-07-2004, 11:58 AM
In all my years of writing poetry and pining over girls, it seems to me that I should have some understanding about the concept known as 'love'. Alas, I do not. For me, it is more infatuation and lust than anything else. Yet, that does not stop people of my age or younger to confess their undying love for another, to profess something more than what I believe to be mere childhood crushes. Perhaps I've grown a bit jaded, and yes, years ago, I would have spouted out the word 'love' like a geyser. (I assume that we talk more about what C.S. Lewis described as 'Eros', as compared to the other three loves.)

Every season I seem to have a crush, and sometimes I have written poems (sometimes expositions). Lately, I do not use the word 'love' to describe how I feel for them. Maybe I believe I am not old enough. Yet, that is only half-truth. I believe that those who are young of age, yet understand what it means to love, can truly be in love. Most children do not have a clear understanding of Eros: they love their parents; they love their classmates; they love their teachers, etc. It is when one can look at another and know something between the two of them, that only they two know, and can never express through sleight of speech.

I speak with the romanticized speech of a poet of countless love poems. Yet, it is not love I feel when I speak about celebrities or this girl or that. It is a longing, to find out if love can exist. It is a wish and hope, that love may one day bloom between me and another. To end this post, I'll provide an excerpt from my journal:

I will miss her – everything about her. In time, I may learn more about her, and I may learn to dislike things that she does, or things that she is. But, to look upon that night and wonder where I was, I was somewhere that I wanted to be. On two occasions, I saw lights reflecting upon bodies of water, and imagining that somehow, she could be the one to see them with me. The reflections floated along the surface, like fearsome silver daggers, swaying perpendicular to the waves; they neither struggled, nor did they dictate the pace. They simply were there, and they never disappeared.

Elijahfan
02-07-2004, 04:30 AM
For those of us who haven't seen the movie, what kind of love do you speak of?

endless love i think. (kidman) ada requests inman (law) to return to her from the war in a letter and he just gets up and leaves. he travels for tons of miles just to get back to her even though they're killing deserters of the war. i think it's amazing because they realize they dont even know each other, they've only seen each other about 4 times, yet they love each other so much. after 3 years of seperation because of the civil war, they still think about each other everyday.

it's a slow movie but i like it alot, atleast it's not as long as the english patient (same director)

note on the nicolas sparks stuff, i think it's sorta unrealistic, not to say that cold mountain is realistic either, but i think it's more sutle and just comtimplating on their love for one another then crazy obsticles of "class". i think the notebook is major heart-wrenching-soap-opera stuff, but hell maybe i'm just over that phase now. and yes i read his other book, a walk to remember, and cried from reading it which now i feel really pathetic about.

Ashley
02-07-2004, 04:37 AM
Cold Mountain was a good movie. The love was a bit odd though being as they knew each other for such a short amount of time and then were separated. That seemed more lust than love now that I think back on it. I saw it in December.. but yeah... I'd go with lust on that as they didn't know each other that well but ah well, made for a good movie. I'm getting off track though.
I have some of the same thoughts on the word "love" as our buddy DR does. People throw it around like nothing. But it's a very powerful word. One that really has no set meaning. I don't throw it around like I used to. I think long and hard before I seriously say I love someone.
I don't think this post really said anything....

Elijahfan
02-07-2004, 04:47 AM
I have some of the same thoughts on the word "love" as our buddy DR does. People throw it around like nothing. But it's a very powerful word. One that really has no set meaning. I don't throw it around like I used to. I think long and hard before I seriously say I love someone.

i totally agree about using the word love, but i seriously think that young people, or basically just the people at my school, shouldnt be using it. i believe in love at first sight but my classmates use the word just after seeing someone for the first time, thinking their "hot", which is completely not the definition, even with no set definition, of love. it's lust! and i hate it...and i stress the word hate, which is not a word that should be thrown around either, but they're so immature, or maybe it's just teenage puberty...either way i annoys me beyond belief.

oh and by the way, not really relavent but i'm watching all the seasons of sex and the city this summer. now that is a real guide/help/whatever to deciphering love and relationships.

keira loves lipgloss
02-07-2004, 03:37 PM
well im learning sex ed at the moment ewwwwwwwww :eek:

Hazzle
03-07-2004, 03:12 AM
I have some of the same thoughts on the word "love" as our buddy DR does. People throw it around like nothing. But it's a very powerful word. One that really has no set meaning. I don't throw it around like I used to. I think long and hard before I seriously say I love someone.
I don't think this post really said anything....

Think you've said all that needs to be said in just that one paragraph...very poignant.

keira loves lipgloss
03-07-2004, 07:41 AM
love is romantic as keira demanstrates in king arthur,love actually,pirates of the caribbean

DragonRat
03-07-2004, 08:54 AM
Of course, love is portrayed as romantic in movies; that is how we wish to perceive movies, as gateways to another world. I suppose, in an odd way, that is why the most highly acclaimed movies are those that either show love as overtly romantic or not romantic at all.

Kyle_West
03-07-2004, 02:14 PM
love, it can mean so many things. It can be percieved as some glorious or hateful word. Personally, like someone said earlier love is a word passed around to casually. It seems that everyone loves someone. I have a younger 13 year old step-brother. He told his girlfriend that he loved her, but he never sees her. They only talk on the phone and the most they probably do is hold hands at school. Is that love? Any relationship before you can drive doesn't mean anything, unless you stay together that long. If you can't see this person then it's meaningless. So it's hard to love someone you can only hear. So I will agree for the most part that high school and below "love" is not even close to love once you're out of your parent's house. But last two years of high school you are open to find more things and meet more people. So I guess it's possible to find that love in a high school. But don't count on it.

Also, alot of people say love knows no age. Which I don't know if thats true. Young people can't comprehend what love is. A 5 year old boy loves his 4 year old neighbor, but as soon as he goes to school or whatever a new person will come into the picture, unless this is in a movie. But not just young. Am I sure what love is? no. Have I had feeling for girls? yes. Was it love? I guess not. But my point is, just don't use the word love as an everyday thing.

Hazzle
03-07-2004, 03:22 PM
I have a younger 13 year old step-brother. He told his girlfriend that he loved her, but he never sees her. They only talk on the phone and the most they probably do is hold hands at school. Is that love?

Who's to say? I'd say not...but then I'd hate to be so judgemental as to assume my thoughts are relevant considering they're HIS feelings...

If you can't see this person then it's meaningless. So it's hard to love someone you can only hear.

Hard, but not impossible.

Also, alot of people say love knows no age. Which I don't know if thats true. Young people can't comprehend what love is. A 5 year old boy loves his 4 year old neighbor, but as soon as he goes to school or whatever a new person will come into the picture, unless this is in a movie. But not just young. Am I sure what love is? no. Have I had feeling for girls? yes. Was it love? I guess not. But my point is, just don't use the word love as an everyday thing.

I think the "love knows no age" thing can't be taken literally...noone is assuming a 3 year old can "fall in love" (though they can experience parental love and familial love)...we're talking about the period from about 12 to 18 where some people have experienced love, and others say they can't have done...I disagree entirely...I first fell in love at 16 and I'm still in love with her...I always will be...

Kyle_West
03-07-2004, 04:03 PM
I have had my step-brother in my life for maybe 3 years. He is not well mannered, he tries to piss people off, and all he does is play video games. I had a girlfriend by the name of susan when I was 13, and she would say "I love you" In which I didn't love her, so maybe it was for the sake of making her feel good. But non-the-less, I'm stating this 13 year old that is associated with me doesn't have a relationship on his mind. Trust me, I'm around him more than anyone else in his life. But that really doesn't matter. My point is that he doesn't know what love is. He constantly whines about not having sex, at 13! That is not love. period.

Maybe, I'm Personally going by what I think. Maybe someone doesn't have a problem with falling in love with a voice or the words on the computer. I personally don't see that as love.

I don't really know if I can explain my last part any better. I tried on the others going into deeper detail. But, this may just be a disagree. I personally just don't believe that someone can know what love is. Perhaps you do, and congrads for finding love at 16. Power to you. I'm saying love isn't that casual. I see love as a sacred bond. Although that could be why I haven't found love, but I'm 16 so I don't expect love. I think thats all you commented on.

Hazzle
04-07-2004, 12:04 AM
I have had my step-brother in my life for maybe 3 years. He is not well mannered, he tries to piss people off, and all he does is play video games. I had a girlfriend by the name of susan when I was 13, and she would say "I love you" In which I didn't love her, so maybe it was for the sake of making her feel good. But non-the-less, I'm stating this 13 year old that is associated with me doesn't have a relationship on his mind. Trust me, I'm around him more than anyone else in his life. But that really doesn't matter. My point is that he doesn't know what love is. He constantly whines about not having sex, at 13! That is not love. period.

Wasn't trying to suggest I know him better than you (as that'd be silly)...and yes...if all he thinks about is sex that's not love ;)

Maybe, I'm Personally going by what I think. Maybe someone doesn't have a problem with falling in love with a voice or the words on the computer. I personally don't see that as love.

Why not? People are often a lot more open in those sorts of forms of communication, because the distance means if they want to distance themselves from any comments they make, they can do easily...ironically it tends to create less pretense than in real life, despite the fact you'd think the anonymous nature of the internet would create the opposite effect. I actually think falling in love with someone you can't see is purer...when you fall in love with someone you can see, isn't there a doubt that you're not in love with them, but lusting after them based on their looks? Sure...I don't think that you can ever truly be completely in love with someone you've never met because of the little idiosyncracies that complete it that you're not privy to...but I dispute that you cannot love someone you've never met...trust me...I speak from experience ;)

I don't really know if I can explain my last part any better. I tried on the others going into deeper detail. But, this may just be a disagree. I personally just don't believe that someone can know what love is. Perhaps you do, and congrads for finding love at 16. Power to you. I'm saying love isn't that casual. I see love as a sacred bond. Although that could be why I haven't found love, but I'm 16 so I don't expect love. I think thats all you commented on.

I agree...love isn't that casual...and yes...I like the sacred bond point...but that implies love has to be mutual. I prefer to think of it as a sacred "connection"...and sometimes, sadly, that connection can be one way (unrequited love)...sad but true...as for not having foudn love at 16...not everyone does...I never said otherwise...only that some do, some don't...but it CAN happen...

Like Baz said...it'll happen when you least expect it...it'll happen when you're not looking for it...possibly with someone you wouldn't imagine falling in love with...it's weird like that :p

Kyle_West
04-07-2004, 04:41 AM
Wasn't trying to suggest I know him better than you (as that'd be silly)...and yes...if all he thinks about is sex that's not love ;):p

I didn't mean that. I just thought I didn't explain myself fully.



Why not? People are often a lot more open in those sorts of forms of communication, because the distance means if they want to distance themselves from any comments they make, they can do easily...ironically it tends to create less pretense than in real life, despite the fact you'd think the anonymous nature of the internet would create the opposite effect. I actually think falling in love with someone you can't see is purer...when you fall in love with someone you can see, isn't there a doubt that you're not in love with them, but lusting after them based on their looks? Sure...I don't think that you can ever truly be completely in love with someone you've never met because of the little idiosyncracies that complete it that you're not privy to...but I dispute that you cannot love someone you've never met...trust me...I speak from experience ;):p

I'll take your word for it.


I agree...love isn't that casual...and yes...I like the sacred bond point...but that implies love has to be mutual. I prefer to think of it as a sacred "connection"...and sometimes, sadly, that connection can be one way (unrequited love)...sad but true...as for not having foudn love at 16...not everyone does...I never said otherwise...only that some do, some don't...but it CAN happen...:p

Since I can't speak from experience from that I can only say good for you.


Like Baz said...it'll happen when you least expect it...it'll happen when you're not looking for it...possibly with someone you wouldn't imagine falling in love with...it's weird like that :p

That happens, Opposites attract right? Hah.

Sephiroth v2.0
06-07-2004, 08:48 PM
he wouldn't leave the love of his life even if Natalie Portman turned up on his doorstep

I'd think about it...

On topic: Love is complicated, Love actually showed that it can happen in spite of dificult boundaries (Kinda... film was a bit unfinished for my liking) and it can apperently make people do crazy stupid things (you know who you are). But what is it? Is it the undying desire to be with someone forever? Lust can be confused with love. Also what about love at first site? Or like Barrington said does it need time to take root and develop.
Me, simply put I don't know.

Elijahfan
07-07-2004, 04:25 AM
I'd think about it...

On topic: Love is complicated, Love actually showed that it can happen in spite of dificult boundaries (Kinda... film was a bit unfinished for my liking) and it can apperently make people do crazy stupid things (you know who you are). But what is it? Is it the undying desire to be with someone forever? Lust can be confused with love. Also what about love at first site? Or like Barrington said does it need time to take root and develop.
Me, simply put I don't know.

totally, some times it can be hard to separate lust from love, especailly since you'd probably be all emotion and stuff. i think the person i'd love would have to understand me completely, without even words, so when i'm mad they'd understand to just back off and give me some space. :mad: i hate it when people are mad and they spread it on to others by being bitchy. its a hard thing not to do when you feel like crap and everything around you becomes irritating.

btw Sephiroth, nice signature...Futurama, Bender i have seasons 1 thru 3