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Richard
03-08-2004, 04:39 AM
Boys & Girls:

What are the worst/best pick-up lines you've ever used or heard?

Unfortunetly, I have yet to recieve one. Then again, I don't think women use pick-up lines. I've never used one either, reasons... none of your business, show me a girl around my neighborhood that's worthy of being offerd a line.

I'm young, so you must all do me this favor... and teach me. :icon_redf


Not sure if this belongs in the Relationship section, but if it does... feel free to move it.

Pinkfairy
03-08-2004, 05:48 AM
A.- "how are you doing?"
B.-"Fine...(that's what you usually say)"
A.-"I didn't ask how you were looking"

So fucking cheesy. I've heard it. Don't use it.
Another:
Joey's "How you doing?" Friends

alby
03-08-2004, 06:01 AM
If you saw the first season of Last Comic Standing, Dat Pham used his FOB accent to butcher this pickup line in one in his routines:

"Was your daddy a thief, 'cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes?"

Dyce_Blue
03-08-2004, 06:28 AM
I Used These Unsuccessfully:


"If I could re-write the alphabet, I would put "U" and "I" together."

"Are your feet tired?...Because you've been running through my mind all day" (the worst and most overused pick up line of our era)

(If a girl is looking at you)"See something you like? Or just browsing?"(eeeww that one is stomach turning)


I Used These Successfully:

"Hello, nice to meet you."

"Your eyes look nice."


Moral of the story: Pick up lines are stupid and they don't work. Richard, please don't use pickup lines. They bring you years of shame afterwards. I said these when I was in 9th grade. 4 years later, I still regret it... :eek13:

acliff
03-08-2004, 07:53 AM
After some eye contact, and coy actions, go over and say:

'Hi, how you doing? My friends say I'd be really good for you'

Can work, if you have friends (useful for shunting the blame). If not, get some :)

Narg
03-08-2004, 08:05 AM
me: "word the fuck up slart, want to fuck ?"
them: "I would, but im gay"

me: "can i sniff ure underpants"
them: "shit yeah motherfucker"


there some pick up lines, use them if u want.

Spire
03-08-2004, 08:32 AM
"Hey baby, you can call me Fred Flintstone because I'm going to make your bed rock."

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

"Nice legs, when are they open?"

"Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!"

"Just call me milk, I'll do your body good."

"Your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want to be."

"I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one
talking to you."

"That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too."

"I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?"

"If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?"

"I love every bone in your body - especially mine."

"The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue."

"You must be Jelly, cause jam don't shake like that."


That's enough for now I think.

deviljet88
03-08-2004, 12:39 PM
Ha all of those cracked me up lol. I'm 14, no experiences with pick-up lines, so continue to post amusing lines :)

doubly
03-08-2004, 03:27 PM
A. approaches B., licks index finger and places it on B.'s shoulder. A. says, "Let's go back to my apartment and get those wet clothes off you."

Jacoby
03-08-2004, 03:47 PM
A. approaches B., licks index finger and places it on B.'s shoulder. A. says, "Let's go back to my apartment and get those wet clothes off you."

A. wakes up. A. starts crying.

Hmmm...pick up lines. Never really use them. I've been to shy to approach and use some cunning line. :icon_redf

DefyingGravity
03-08-2004, 04:04 PM
That bedrock one made me gag. :p They have websites for bad pickup lines.

1. Your body's name must be Visa,
because it's everywhere I want to be.

2. Can I buy you a drink,
or do you just want the money?

3. I may not be Fred Flintstone,
but I bet I can make your bed rock!

4. I may not be the best looking guy here,
but I'm the only one talking to you.

5. Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King,
you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.

6. Excuse me, do you have your phone number,
I seem to have lost mine.

7. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him?
I think he went into this cheap motel room.

8. I'm new in town,
could I have directions to your house.

9. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's,
you would be McGorgeous.

10. You might not be the best looking girl here,
but beauty is only a light switch away!

Josher
03-08-2004, 04:16 PM
Guy: "Are you from Tennessee?"
Gal: "No"
Guy: "Well, you're the only 10 I see"

That one is horrible...

hasselbrad
03-08-2004, 08:27 PM
Are you okay?
Yeah, why?
I was afraid you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven.

Renegade
04-08-2004, 12:10 AM
Damn, these are hilarious! :icon_lol:
Nice ones Spire. You get a biscuit for your acute taste in pick-up lines.


A couple I found off of a site:
"By the way the light is hitting your eyes, I can see myself in them, and DAMN...I look good!"

"Is that a run in your stockings, or is that the stairway to heaven?"

"You must be Jamaican, cus you Jamaican me crazy."

"Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth, creamy, and easy to spread."

"I love every bone in your body, especially mine."

"Quick, someone call the police cus this girl just stole my heart."

Hazzle
04-08-2004, 12:16 AM
Chat up lines...just not summat I do...that'd probably explain the single-ness then...that and the sheer ugly and lack of personality...

ANYWAY...one good one I DID hear...well not GOOD, just funny...was this, and I didn't see anyone else mention it so...

Guy: Hey there, fancy coming back to mine for a Pizza and a fuck?
Girl: <slaps guys>
Guy: What, you don't like Pizza?!?!

:p. Tacky and SOOOOO wong...but still funny.

Richard
04-08-2004, 02:00 AM
Chat up lines...just not summat I do...that'd probably explain the single-ness then...that and the sheer ugly and lack of personality...

ANYWAY...one good one I DID hear...well not GOOD, just funny...was this, and I didn't see anyone else mention it so...

Guy: Hey there, fancy coming back to mine for a Pizza and a fuck?
Girl: <slaps guys>
Guy: What, you don't like Pizza?!?!

:p. Tacky and SOOOOO wong...but still funny.

Haz wins by a long shot. I just got british humour. :)

I've definitely come to conclusion about pick-up lines, that no self-respecting human would ever say half of the shit mentioned. Funny shit alright, but damn... are there like people who just specialize in making up this crap?

Ashlyn
04-08-2004, 07:38 AM
all those cheesy pick-up lines make me cringe.. do people actually use those? i advise everyone against cheesy pick-up lines, they won't get you anywhere

Snoug
04-08-2004, 08:49 AM
DO you have a map?
I keep getting lost in your eyes

Hazzle
04-08-2004, 11:00 AM
all those cheesy pick-up lines make me cringe.. do people actually use those? i advise everyone against cheesy pick-up lines, they won't get you anywhere

Aye...I've never used one myself...I just like messing about with humour to come up with them...for a laugh...but never to use...

But y'know...for some guys they seem to work...cunts! (been longing to use that word since we switched as we all know our old host didn't like the word much :D)

hasselbrad
04-08-2004, 12:20 PM
...we don't expect them to work. Some guys just like to have fun. Though, there are those who really do use them. I had a fraternity brother who was an absolute catfish, but the skanks he went after really dug this kind of shit. Of course, he got laid more than the rest of us put together, but it did come at a pretty steep price. It burned when he peed. :icon_surp

Kelsey
06-08-2004, 01:12 AM
"Do you work at Subway, cause you give me a footlonger."

*shrug*

Someone said that to me on the bus home from Great America in 7th grade. I didn't get what it was implying, so I just said no.

Richard
06-08-2004, 01:22 AM
"Do you work at Subway, cause you give me a footlonger."

*shrug*

Someone said that to me on the bus home from Great America in 7th grade. I didn't get what it was implying, so I just said no.

Poor Kelsey, and in the 7th grade... that's just wrong.

Damn perverts.

KRev
06-08-2004, 01:40 AM
I take the Democratic approach...

"Hi. I'm not Hazzle."

Hazzle
06-08-2004, 01:45 AM
Thought you were trying to IMPRESS the girl..."Hi I'm Hazzle" is guaranteed to get you into her pants...the charm...the wit...the stunning good looks and rippling muscles...oh...wait...

KRev
06-08-2004, 01:50 AM
There's that irreverent, droll wit we're all accustomed to...

Renegade
06-08-2004, 01:52 AM
Thought you were trying to IMPRESS the girl..."Hi I'm Hazzle" is guaranteed to get you into her pants...the charm...the wit...the stunning good looks and rippling muscles...oh...wait...

You mean you're not all of the things mentioned above!!?? Fuckin Haz, I hate it when you kill my fantasies!!!;)


Anyway on-topic, here's a dandy line:
"I lost my dog. I think he went into this cheap motel room. Can you come help me find him?"

DefyingGravity
06-08-2004, 01:54 AM
Thought you were trying to IMPRESS the girl..."Hi I'm Hazzle" is guaranteed to get you into her pants...the charm...the wit...the stunning good looks and rippling muscles...oh...wait...

Go on. :D


There's that irreverent, droll wit we're all accustomed to...

Oh piss off. Stop being such a dick.

And as for pickup lines...

http://linesthataregood.com/

KRev
06-08-2004, 02:04 AM
I noticed you noticin' me... So I thought I'd put you on notice--I noticed you, too.

Simpletons get mad when you use "big" words.

Hazzle
06-08-2004, 02:06 AM
Simpletons get mad when you use "big" words.

Not funny, and very insulting...also off-topic...kindly desist...now.

keira_lover
07-08-2004, 04:17 AM
Best...pickup line...ever
(not that I would honestly know since I don't use them but just for shits and giggles lets pretend I do)

*thick Chinese accent* I only have one eyeball...and it's for you.
translation: I only have eyes for you.

Yes I know, it's cheesier than shit. But then again, most pickup lines are.

(And just for clarification the first pickup line is a Chinese man's interpretation of the second. Damn funny in my opinion but then again it's been said that I have a slightly skewed sense of humor) :icon_neut

frodo1511
07-08-2004, 05:43 AM
From Friends:

"How you doin'?"
Matt LeBlanc is so stupid, it's funny:)

DragonRat
07-08-2004, 10:34 AM
I'd ask you to dance with me, but I'm afraid that we'd fall in love, rush into things, move in with each other, get married, and have kids. But with the kids, I'd be forced to take two jobs to support us, while you stay home and take care of them, but this will eventually ruin our love life, and all of our pent-up frustrations will be blamed upon the kids. We'll eventually divorce, and we'd have to split custody of the children, giving them years of therapy and basically ruining their lives. So, for the kids, let's just keep this sexual, ok?

And my favorite of all time:

"Those clothes are very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming, too."

keiracaleb
07-08-2004, 12:36 PM
heres one fot ladies to use

is that a king size mars bar u have in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?

and here is an evil one that a guy played on my friend

guy:Hey dreamboat!
MY BEST FRINED TURNS ROUND
guy:not you shipwreck!

for both sexes

i have a cut on my lip can you kiss it better?

for girls to use

a. can u lend me some money for some lip gloss?
b. why
a. coz its you who'll be taking it off!


and someone who knows thta i really like keira knightley said to me for a joke.

hi, i'm firneds with keira knightley's brother, wanna come with me to meet keira? and if that doesn't work, we can meet each other!

crap and corny, and unless you know what the second meening of meet is then you won't get it.

Hazzle
07-08-2004, 01:20 PM
heres one fot ladies to use

is that a king size mars bar u have in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?

Originality will get you everywhere...and surely the unsightly brown stains from the melted chocolate might tip you off?

and here is an evil one that a guy played on my friend

guy:Hey dreamboat!
MY BEST FRINED TURNS ROUND
guy:not you shipwreck!

Yes of course...your "friend" must've been quite crushed...probably appropriate though...bet your "friend" munts for England.

for both sexes

i have a cut on my lip can you kiss it better?

Probably more likely to work for a girl than a guy methinks...it lacks the necessary cheese to be obviously funny to a girl and comes off as pervy instead.

for girls to use

a. can u lend me some money for some lip gloss?
b. why
a. coz its you who'll be taking it off!

Funny. Y'know anyone who uses that line'll come off like a cheap hooker...may as well say...Can you lend me some money for some lip gloss? Why? Cos I'm a cheap slut and it's a pound a go.


hi, i'm firneds with keira knightley's brother, wanna come with me to meet keira? and if that doesn't work, we can meet each other!

crap and corny, and unless you know what the second meening of meet is then you won't get it.

I prefer "Hi, I'm friends with Keira Knightley's Brother, wanna come with me to meet Keira? And if that doesn't work I can show you my meat :p

DefyingGravity
07-08-2004, 06:39 PM
and here is an evil one that a guy played on my friend

guy:Hey dreamboat!
MY BEST FRINED TURNS ROUND
guy:not you shipwreck!


That's terrible and unoriginal. I saw that on an old Nickelodeon show.

acliff
07-08-2004, 07:42 PM
heres one fot ladies to use

is that a king size mars bar u have in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?

and here is an evil one that a guy played on my friend

guy:Hey dreamboat!
MY BEST FRINED TURNS ROUND
guy:not you shipwreck!

for both sexes

i have a cut on my lip can you kiss it better?

for girls to use

a. can u lend me some money for some lip gloss?
b. why
a. coz its you who'll be taking it off!


and someone who knows thta i really like keira knightley said to me for a joke.

hi, i'm firneds with keira knightley's brother, wanna come with me to meet keira? and if that doesn't work, we can meet each other!

crap and corny, and unless you know what the second meening of meet is then you won't get it.

And you're 12.... what is the country coming to.

'Are you seeing anyone?'
'I have a boyfriend'
'You want another one?'

hasselbrad
09-08-2004, 12:33 PM
...but I had my daughter for the weekend on Thursday and Friday, and before I dropped her off Friday night we went to Longhorn Steakhouse for dinner. We had a long wait, so I was kidding around with her along the lines of how my father used to with me. When I was 4 or 5 years old, and we were waiting on my mother to come out of a store, he would joke that she was taking too long and that we should pick out a new mommy. I would get mad, and he would get the desired rise out of me.
So, I thought it would be fun to ask her to help me pick out a new mommy, since her mommy is remarried. Well, she takes it seriously, and starts pointing out pretty girls, mostly from the waitstaff. I try to explain that I was kidding and she stops.
Well, when it's our turn to be seated, the hostess happens to be a very pretty blonde. We get to the table, and my daughter asks her if she'll be her new mommy.
I swear to God, I could have crawled under the table.

Hazzle
09-08-2004, 11:11 PM
Arrr...the old using the kid trick, eh? Genius :D

hasselbrad
10-08-2004, 12:41 PM
Hell of a lot more expensive than a dog though! I gotta put this one through college.

kilyncw
10-08-2004, 02:20 PM
the worst one i have ever heard was used on a friend of mine, she was sitting on a bench and i was talking some other girls and this albino looking fat dude with a pink shirt walked up to her and i was laughing already but this is how it went.

"hey"
"hi" she was laughing
"me and my friends were wondering, how much does a polar bear weigh?"
"um i don't know"
"about enough to break the ice. huh?"

it was so terrible
________
Vaporizers (http://twitter.com/vaporizer)

Hazzle
11-08-2004, 12:57 AM
So wrong on so many levels...chat up lines are NOT funny children.

Pygmalion
11-05-2007, 03:05 AM
So this is one my friends and I made up:

"How would you like to put white sauce all over my corn beef curtains?"

Don't tell me that wouldn't make you want to get on all fours and take it like a bitch.