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Dyce_Blue
27-07-2004, 01:45 AM
I have noticed that many people have Keira's infamous quotes from KA and PotC in their signatures. What do you think is the best line ever said in a movie, TV show, or song?

Richard
27-07-2004, 01:58 AM
"Mrs. Robinson you're trying to seduce me" - Dustin Hoffman (The Graduate)

Dyce_Blue
27-07-2004, 02:13 AM
My favorite line comes from the TV series Cheers. To give a summary of the events leading up to the line...

Woody (played by Woody Harrelson) tells everyone in the bar that he lost 20$. Cliff merrily walks in and offers to buy a round of drinks because he found a 20$ bill in the pool room of the bar. Sam urges Woody to tell Cliff that the money is really his. When Woody tells Cliff, he wants Woody to prove it by telling him the serial number on the bill. Woody promptly gives the correct serial number and Cliff gives him the money.

Sam:"How did you do that?"
Woody:"I memorize the serial numbers on all my currency."
Sam:"Why?"
Woody: (joyously)"For just such an O-ccasion. (walks away and turns back) I just hope I never get rich."

DragonRat
27-07-2004, 02:13 AM
"We'll make him an offer he can't refuse." - Don Corleone, the Godfather

Jacoby
27-07-2004, 02:17 AM
John Doe: "What sick ridiculous puppets we are / and what gross little stage we dance on / What fun we have dancing and fucking / Not a care in the world / Not knowing that we are nothing / We are not what was intended."
- Se7en

Napoleon Dynamite: "You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff."

Joel: "I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be."
- Eternal Sunshine

frodo1511
27-07-2004, 02:18 AM
Shrek:"So this is Lord Farquad's castle. Perhaps he may be compensating for something? Haha"

Not the best line ever, but a line from way out in left field from a movie that's supposed to be for kiddies:)

mufiman
27-07-2004, 02:20 AM
"We'll make him an offer he can't refuse." - Don Corleone, the Godfather

that is a great one. since that is taken...

"She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven't you?" -Norman Bates in Psycho

Spire
27-07-2004, 02:38 AM
"You wanna make an omelete, you gotta break a few eggs." - Fight Club

Not great, but I really liked it.

Dyce_Blue
27-07-2004, 02:39 AM
"I'm being sued...for getting shot in the head!" Paul Lassiter from TV's Spin City

MeggieHoops
27-07-2004, 02:53 AM
Shrek:"So this is Lord Farquad's castle. Perhaps he may be compensating for something? Haha"

Not the best line ever, but a line from way out in left field from a movie that's supposed to be for kiddies:)

Ooh Shreck. Love it. But the one thing from this movie that cracks me up to NO end is when Lord Farquad is looking into the magic mirror and getting the options for who he's going to pick for his bride, and the mirror asks his choice...and all the guards start yelling "1!" or "Sleeping beauty!" or whatever. Well one of the guards holds up 2 fingers and says in this hilarious deep voice "Pick 3 my lord, pick 3 !"

Kills me every time.

Anyways, best movie line:
My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare do die! - Inigo Montoya to Count Ruegen, The Princess Bride

Dyce_Blue
27-07-2004, 03:01 AM
Cop:"We eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast."
James:"(laughs) Y'all eat pieces of shit?"

-Emilio Estevez arguing with a cop in "Men at Work"

Richard
27-07-2004, 03:01 AM
Anyways, best movie line:
My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare do die! - Inigo Montoya to Count Ruegen, The Princess Bride

I think that's the number one film quote of all time, according to EW. Good choice, though I have never seen the Princess Bride, that quote makes it's rounds where-ever I go.

Cop:"We eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast."
James:"(laughs) Y'all eat pieces of shit?"

-Emilio Estevez arguing with a cop in "Men at Work"

And here I thought that only came from Happy Gilmore. :)

frodo1511
27-07-2004, 04:31 AM
Here's another funny one:
"sometimes doing the right thing ain't doing the right thing"
"what the hell does that mean?"

It's from SWAT

slimgopey
27-07-2004, 05:20 AM
"Frank: A good cop - needlessly cut down by some cowardly hoodlums.
Ed: No way for a man to die.
Frank: You're right, Ed. A parachute not opening - that's the way to die, getting caught in a combine, having your nuts bit off by a Laplander. That's the way I want to go."

"Mayor: Armed robbery, arson, sexual assault with a concrete dildo... what the hell's got into you, Frank?"

Naked Gun :D

"Drew Carey: I always get screwed by the system. That's my place in the universe. I'm the system's bitch."

The Drew Carey show also has great lines.

KRev
27-07-2004, 05:53 AM
Freeeeeeeedddoommm! ~ Braveheart

"My name is Maximus... Husband to a murdered wife, father to a murdered son. And I will have my vengence." ~ Gladiator

"Welcome... to the desert... of the real." ~ The Matrix

"May His blood be upon us and our children." ~ The Passion of the Christ (original cut)

Josher
27-07-2004, 06:04 AM
My mom tore out a page from PEOPLE magazine where Keira has a short little article. She has a quote regarding King Arthur and it is really funny. She says "The Celts would've been fighting naked and painted blue, but there was no way I was going to do that. Having a bare midriff and running around killing people was fun. But you don't want to see boobs bumping up and down on a batlefield. It would be distracting. So I thought a little coverage would be helpful." Just thought that was funny and that you should know :) .

KRev
27-07-2004, 06:06 AM
Good one... The US publications censored the boob clause of that line.

Josher
27-07-2004, 06:28 AM
What? What are you talking about, in the movie or the article or what? I am confused.

KRev
27-07-2004, 06:34 AM
Most magazines use the same Keira quotes over and over and over and over and over....

In the American mags, the "boob" part was cut out. That one sentence would've justified my buying all those over priced publications.

Damn it all...

KRev
27-07-2004, 06:42 AM
BACK ON TOPIC:

Fight Club has a sizeable plethora of good one-liners. Among my favorite:

"F**K Martha Stewart! She's just polishing the brass on the Titanic, man. It's all going down!"

"... You're not your f**king khakis."

"Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers abandoned us, what does that say about God?"

Although the last would be more theologically correct if it read: "Our fathers were supposed to be..." But that would render the punchline moot.

Narg
27-07-2004, 08:01 AM
the t1000 terminator from T2 says "Get out" in the helicopter, the look on the pilots face, and the way he says it is awesome.

Kelsey
27-07-2004, 08:02 AM
The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow.
~ Annie

DesignatedJerk
27-07-2004, 08:07 AM
"Bull fights. Bull hockey. Do you like this? The bull is stabbed, prodded, beaten... the
bull is wounded. The bull is tired before the matador ever sets foot in the ring... now,
is that victory? Of course it is. Do you want to know the secret to winning? Creative
sportsmanship... in other words, one has to rig the game."
-Agent Sands (played by Johny Depp in Once Apon A Time In Mexico)

Pygmalion
27-07-2004, 09:55 AM
Black Books:
Manny: I want the weekend off. I want a life.
Bernard: This is life! We suffer and slave and expire. That's it!
Manny: We have needs! Fran wants to learn the piano, I want some time to myself, you want to go out with a girl...
Bernard: Don't make me laugh... bitterly. Fran will fail, you'll toil your life away, and I'll die alone, upside down on the floor of a pub toilet.

[attempting to fill in his tax return form]
Bernard: "What is your mother's maiden name?" What's her first name? I just knew her as "Ma"! That'll have to do.
[writing on the form]
Bernard: 'Ma...........Possibly deceased'.

ChocolateMoose
27-07-2004, 10:59 AM
"Your only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!" - Italian Job (orginal)

And some from Coupling:

"Bottoms are our (womens) natural enemy... They follow us around our entire lives, right behind us, and constantly growing." Sally

"Having a bottom is like living with the enemy. Not only do they spend their lives slowly inflating, they flirt with men while we’re looking the other way." Sally

"Maybe women are completely different when we’re not with them. Maybe they’re not cross all the time." Jeff

Patrick "I like films with lesbians in them because it’s nice to think there are attractive women out there who can’t find a boyfriend."
Steve "Excuse me?"
[Patrick looks blank]
Steve "You have the sexual politics of a viking attack"

hasselbrad
27-07-2004, 12:21 PM
"That's what I like about these high school girls...I get older, they stay the same age."

Dazed and Confused

ryan
27-07-2004, 12:26 PM
Some of my favorite movie lines:

"Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love!" - Woody Allen, Annie Hall

"We all go a little mad sometimes" - Anthony Perkins, Psycho

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist" - Kevin Spacey, The Usual Suspects


I also kinda like this mini speech that Affleck gave to Damon in Good Will Hunting:

"No. No, no, no, no. Fuck you, you don't owe it to yourself man, you owe it to me, cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be 50, and I'll still be doin this shit. And that's all right. That's fine. I mean, you're sittin on a winnin lottery ticket. You're too much of a pussy to cash it in, and that's bullshit. Cause I'd do fuckin anything to have what you got. So would any of these fuckin guys. It'd be an insult to watch if you're still here in 20 years. Hangin around here is a fuckin waste of your time."


Lastly, here's one my favorite monologues from American Beauty:

"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars...and yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined my street...or my grandmother's hands and the way her skin seemed like paper...and the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird...and Janie...and...Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."

frodo1511
27-07-2004, 02:27 PM
Freeeeeeeedddoommm! ~ Braveheart

"My name is Maximus... Husband to a murdered wife, father to a murdered son. And I will have my vengence." ~ Gladiator

"Welcome... to the desert... of the real." ~ The Matrix

"May His blood be upon us and our children." ~ The Passion of the Christ (original cut)


Here's the whole line from Gladiator, KRev:

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Commander of the armies of the North. General of the Felix Legions. Loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Arilius. Father to a murdered son, Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengence, in this life or next."

Josher
27-07-2004, 04:07 PM
"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next." - Macimus from The Gladiator.

And

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you." - Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction

DesignatedJerk
27-07-2004, 04:46 PM
ahh pulp fiction. a favorite of mine. as well as this quote :)

"Well I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch brain I'm "SUPERFLY T.N.T", I'm the "GUNS OF THE NAVARONE". In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker should be on brain detail. We're fuckin' switchin' right now. I'm washin' the windows and you're pickin' up this nigger's skull.

frodo1511
27-07-2004, 05:09 PM
"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next." - Macimus from The Gladiator.


Got it before ya, Josh:)

apoggy
27-07-2004, 05:52 PM
Please refrainfrom spamming Frodo, this is your first warning

Josher
27-07-2004, 09:28 PM
DJ, that line is really funny as is the one wiht the wolf "So pretty please, with sugar on top, clean the fucking car".

hasselbrad
27-07-2004, 09:40 PM
Yea, though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death. I will fear no evil...
...'cause I'm the baddest motherfucker in the valley.

Young Guns

Renegade
27-07-2004, 10:15 PM
Some memorable quotes from Saving Private Ryan:

Private Jackson: "If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere near up to and including one mile of Adolf Hitler, with a clear line of sight sir, pack your bags fellas, war's over. Amen."

Private Caparzo: "Everytime you salute the Captain you make him a target for the Germans. So do us a favor, don't do it. Especially when I'm standing next to him, capice?"

Sergeant Horvath: "I don't know. Part of me thinks the kid's right. He asks what he's done to deserve this. He wants to stay here, fine. Let's leave him and go home. But then another part of me thinks, what if by some miracle we stay, then actually make it out of here. Someday we might look back on this and decide that saving Private Ryan was the one decent thing we were able to pull out of this whole godawful mess. Like you said, Captain, maybe we do that, we all earn the right to go home."

Richard
27-07-2004, 10:53 PM
Apparently, for some reason my last post of this quote mysteriously disappeared. :icon_conf Was that part of the forum downtime? This type of forum malfunction can really piss off a lot of members, I hope it's fixed. DR wrote a lot the last time he visited, he's gonna be pissed. :mad:

Anyways...

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." - Humphrey Bogart (Casablanca)

Though I have never seen Casablanca, this quote gets me. Usually when I think about the perfect woman.

KRev
27-07-2004, 11:49 PM
<Thanks for posting the whole Maximus line. I feel less like a movie trivia nerd. Kudos.>

Oh yeah! Private Jackson's on going prayer while blasting holes in Nazis was quite entertaining.

Love Actually: "It's a self preservation thing..." And the cue cards--great unspoken dialogue. And the monologue to the Portuguese chick. Pimpness to the extreme.

The Hole: I love the way Keira says "Uh huh" when she's... uh... being undressed.

Josher
28-07-2004, 12:04 AM
"Gosh!" - Napoleon Dynamite

Hazzle
28-07-2004, 12:55 AM
Love the quote in my siggy...

frodo1511
28-07-2004, 01:00 AM
This is from Bad Boys II

Captain "What do you guys do, call each other up in the morning? Good Morning Marcus, good morning Mike. How yo doin'? 'Aight. So, how are we going to fuck up the captain's life today? Gee, I don't know, hmmmm.... oh, look. over there, lets kill three fat people and leave them on the street!
Marcus " They were already dead"
Captain " That's not the point, god damnit. Everytime you leave a body on the street, I have to get these forensic guys, and detectives, see, detective shit, and then I have to get these forensic coroners to stick them back in the fucking bags!!! Jesus Christ! You guys are like bloodsucking ticks, sucking the life out of this department! WOOSAI!!!
Marcus "Damn the woosai captain, did you just call me a tick?

Funny shit:)

Richard
28-07-2004, 03:32 AM
From "The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air":

Will: Ah, look at him Uncle Phil, he's depressed.
Uncle Phil: Who Geoffrey? He's not depressed, he's british.

I don't get it. I thought brits were lively.

Dyce_Blue
28-07-2004, 03:44 AM
From "The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air":

Will: Ah, look at him Uncle Phil, he's depressed.
Uncle Phil: Who Geoffrey? He's not depressed, he's british.

I don't get it. I thought brits were lively.


Will Smith has some of the greatest one-liners in history.

From Men in Black II:
Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones get in car with white driver. Will clicks a button and the driver is sucked into the airbag hole in the steering wheel.

Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones): Does that come standard?
Agent J (Will Smith): Yeah, it came with a black dude, but he kept getting pullled over.

Nick
28-07-2004, 10:45 AM
One of my favorite lines is from Robin Hood: Men in Tights, actually there's lots of funny lines from this movie but I'll try and limit it to just one.
The scene is when they're trying to sneak into the archery contest by dressing as women and Will Scarlet "O'Hara" says to Blinkin, "Blinkin! Fix your boobs; you look like a bleedin' Picasso!"

ChocolateMoose
28-07-2004, 11:29 AM
The scene is when they're trying to sneak into the archery contest by dressing as women and Will Scarlet "O'Hara" says to Blinkin, "Blinkin! Fix your boobs; you look like a bleedin' Picasso!"

Hehehehe, I love that film! :D

Some more quotes from the film:

Robin Hood: Blinkin! What are you doing?
Blinkin: Guessing. I guess no one's coming.

Achoo: Hey, Blinkin!
Blinkin: Did you say "Abe Lincoln"?

Prince John: Save me, save me! Hurt them, hurt them!
Sherrif of Rottingham: Save them, save them, hurt you, hurt you, yes, I've got it!

Hazzle
28-07-2004, 04:17 PM
From "The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air":

Will: Ah, look at him Uncle Phil, he's depressed.
Uncle Phil: Who Geoffrey? He's not depressed, he's british.

I don't get it. I thought brits were lively.

Yes...but he's a Brit living in Bel Air...enough reason to seem depressed methinks ;)

Once you've lived here you'll never want to live anywhere else :p

Dyce_Blue
28-07-2004, 08:43 PM
This is from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Bill and Ted are introducing historical figures to Bill's stepmom while attempting to conceal their true identities.

Ted: uh...Ms. Preston, we would like you to meet some of our...friends.

Bill: Yeah, this is Dave Beeth-oven (Ludwig Von Beethoven), and Maxine of Arc (Joan of Arc), Herman the Kid (Billy the Kid)...

Ted:...Bob Genghis Khan (Genghis Khan), So-crates Johnson (Socrates), Dennis Frood (Siegmund Freud), and umm...uh...Abraham Lincoln.

frodo1511
28-07-2004, 11:10 PM
This is from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Bill and Ted are introducing historical figures to Bill's stepmom while attempting to conceal their true identities.

Ted: uh...Ms. Preston, we would like you to meet some of our...friends.

Bill: Yeah, this is Dave Beeth-oven (Ludwig Von Beethoven), and Maxine of Arc (Joan of Arc), Herman the Kid (Billy the Kid)...

Ted:...Bob Genghis Khan (Genghis Khan), So-crates Johnson (Socrates), Dennis Frood (Siegmund Freud), and umm...uh...Abraham Lincoln.



Love that movie!! but the best line comes from when Bill and Ted meet there "future selves", and the present B&T say "If you are really us, than what number are we thinking of?"
Future B&T say, "69 dudes!!!"

Funniest line in the movie.

hasselbrad
28-07-2004, 11:52 PM
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."
"Have you ever seen a grown man naked?"
"...and Leon's getting laaaaaarger."

Airplane

"Well...It ain't Ozzie and Harriet."
"You give me that baby you warthog from hell."
"You never leave a man behind!"

Raising Arizona

Dyce_Blue
29-07-2004, 02:54 AM
Love that movie!! but the best line comes from when Bill and Ted meet there "future selves", and the present B&T say "If you are really us, than what number are we thinking of?"
Future B&T say, "69 dudes!!!"

Funniest line in the movie.


Yeah, those were the "bad robot us's" as Bill and Ted so eloquently put it.

Dyce_Blue
29-07-2004, 04:51 AM
A couple of names have also become the best one-liners in history.

For instance:

"Murdock.........Murdock, I'm coming for YOU!"
- Sly Stallone in Rambo

"Adrian!!!"
- Sly Stallone in Rocky

OK, I guess Stallone is the only one that did this. Nevermind...

frodo1511
29-07-2004, 04:56 AM
Recently, from I, Robot:
Will Smith: ACHOO!!!
"sorry, I'm alergic to bullshit"

Kelsey
29-07-2004, 05:06 AM
Yes...but he's a Brit living in Bel Air...enough reason to seem depressed methinks ;)

You've clearly never been to Bel Air ;)

ChocolateMoose
29-07-2004, 10:07 AM
Ok, this is more of a scene than a single line, but I love it and I can't divide it up - all the lines are great! The greatness that is POTC:

Murtogg: [spots Jack ] This dock is off limits to civilians.
Jack : I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t know. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately. [tries to continue on his way but is again thwarted] Apparently there’s some sort of high toned and fancy to do up at the fort, eh? How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen such as yourselves did not merit an invitation?
Murtogg: Someone has to make sure this dock stays off limits to civilians.
Jack : It’s a fine goal to be sure but it seems to me that a… [shifts again] a ship like that [points out the Dauntless] makes this one here a bit superfluous, really.
Murtogg: Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough, but there’s no ship as can match the Interceptor for speed.
Jack : I’ve heard of one, supposed to be very fast – nigh un-catchable…the Black Pearl.
Mullroy: Well…there’s no real ship as can match the Interceptor.
Murtogg: The Black Pearl is a real ship.
Mullroy: No, no it’s not.
Murtogg: Yes, it is, I’ve seen it.
Mullroy: You’ve seen it?
Murtogg: Yes.
Mullroy: You haven’t seen it.
Murtogg: Yes, I have.
Mullroy: You’ve seen a ship with black sails, that’s crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?
Murtogg: No.
Mullroy: No.
Murtogg: But I have seen a ship with black sails. [ Jack slips away while they banter]
Mullroy: Oh, and no ship that’s not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails therefore couldn’t possibly be any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you’re saying?
Murtogg: [nods] No.
Mullroy: Like I said, there’s no real ship as can match the Interceptor… [notices Jack at the wheel of the Interceptor]
Murtogg: Hey! You! Get away from there.
Mullroy: You don’t have permission to be aboard there, mate.
Jack : I’m sorry, it’s just - it’s such a pretty boat. Ship.
Murtogg: What’s your name?
Jack : Smith. Or Smithy, if you like.
Mullroy: What’s your purpose in Port Royal , Mr. Smith ?
Murtogg: Yeah. and no lies.
Jack: Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out!
Murtogg: I said no lies!
Mullroy: I think he’s telling the truth.
Murtogg: If he were telling the truth, he wouldn’t have told us.
Jack : Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn’t believe the truth even if he told it to you.

Hehehee :D:D:D:D:D:D

DefyingGravity
29-07-2004, 01:18 PM
Great one, ChocolateMoose.

And, as my other post has ALSO mysteriously disappeared(I thought I was the only one), I'm going to post this again. :D

"Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?"

"Say hello to my little friend."

hasselbrad
29-07-2004, 02:42 PM
"Ted Nugent called...he wants his shirt back."
Danny Ocean

Ocean's Eleven

Object Of Affection
29-07-2004, 04:54 PM
SCarFace (GTA was born here) one of the greatest one liner's i have every heard in a film,

The scene towards the end of the film where tony montano relises that he's mansion is being flooded with gangsters who want him dead.

He has that f*** off machine gun and says "say hello to my little friend" In the beSt aCcent EVER!

:Hail: Al PacinO

Funnyest line i have heard in a film has to be the scene in plains trains and automobiles. Where steve martin gets given keys to a car that isn't in the car lot and it sets off a massive Swearing extravagazA when he gets back to the car rental placE :icon_rofl

hasselbrad
29-07-2004, 05:37 PM
Yes...that tirade in P.T.& A. was classic. I'm also partial to Clark Griswold's tirade in Christmas Vacation.

Richard
29-07-2004, 06:19 PM
"I could dance with you till the cows come home...On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows when you come home." - Groucho Marx (Duck Soup)

Dyce_Blue
29-07-2004, 06:27 PM
Miles (Martin Lawrence) is driving his partner's police car when traffic is slowed by a crappy car moving very slowly. Keep in mind that he isn't a real cop

(over loudspeaker) "Hey, this is the po-lice. Move your busted-ass vehicle. Move, move, move, move, move! This is the LAPD we'll pop one in ya ass. We got guns and shit..."

-Blue Streak
(one of the funniest movies ever)

frodo1511
29-07-2004, 11:30 PM
From Starsky and Hutch:

Starsky: "looks like you punched you'r last ticket, muchaco"
Hutch: "Did you just tough-talk a dead body?"


Oh, and from Spaceballs:

The King of Druidia: "Ok, I'll tell you the combination to the planet's airlock.
The combination is- 1,2,3,4, 5.
Dark Helmat: "1,2,3,4,5? That's the same combo to my suitcase?!"

Hazzle
30-07-2004, 12:34 AM
You've clearly never been to Bel Air ;)

Oh no...I've seen enough to know it's a lovely place to live...but when you're English you know that this country is just the bestest...heck even if we were hit by a nuke we'd still be the bestest...as it's England...and it's the best...nuff said :D

SOOO off topic :(

frodo1511
30-07-2004, 04:38 AM
Oh no...I've seen enough to know it's a lovely place to live...but when you're English you know that this country is just the bestest...heck even if we were hit by a nuke we'd still be the bestest...as it's England...and it's the best...nuff said :D

SOOO off topic :(


I really enjoyed visiting England 7 years ago, can't wait to go back( my friends and I are thinking of going there for our senior trip) Back on topic...

Here's my favorite line from Rush Hour-
"Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!"

Dyce_Blue
30-07-2004, 11:47 PM
Here's my favorite line from Rush Hour-
"Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!"

The mushu line from Rush Hour 2 was good too. If I had the DVD, I would quote it.

frodo1511
31-07-2004, 05:43 AM
The mushu line from Rush Hour 2 was good too. If I had the DVD, I would quote it.


Here you go dyce, because you asked for it

Chris Tucker: "I'm on vacation man and I want some mushu"
Jackie Chan: "Mushu, you hungry?"
Chris: "not mushu, mushu, I want to see some women, man"

Dyce_Blue
31-07-2004, 05:54 AM
Here you go dyce, because you asked for it

Chris Tucker: "I'm on vacation man and I want some mushu"
Jackie Chan: "Mushu, you hungry?"
Chris: "not mushu, mushu, I want to see some women, man"

Yeah, that is the line I was looking for. The tone in Chris Tucker's voice as he says that is hilarious.

If you have seen the outtakes for the movie, then there is one more Tucker line that belongs in the post.

This comes after somebody flies out the window onto the street below.

Carter: Damn...He aint gonna be in Rush Hour 3.

DragonRat
31-07-2004, 09:01 AM
Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father.

If that is not the greatest line of all time, then I don't know what is.

Hazzle
31-07-2004, 10:53 AM
Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father.

If that is not the greatest line of all time, then I don't know what is.

It is actually, in my view, the best of all time...just...ARRR...too good. This is why DR is so highly respected round these parts.

frodo1511
01-08-2004, 08:52 PM
Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father.

If that is not the greatest line of all time, then I don't know what is.


Hey, what about "May the Force be with you"? That was something all the kids in my elementary school said once the special edition's came out on the big screen.
If that's not the best, then it comes in at a close second.

Hazzle
01-08-2004, 11:27 PM
Hey, what about "May the Force be with you"? That was something all the kids in my elementary school said once the special edition's came out on the big screen.
If that's not the best, then it comes in at a close second.

Nahh...it's been so abused it's become cliche now...I actually cringe when I hear it.

Hang on...if memory serves that "Luke I am your father" is one of those infamous misquoted lines...I believe it's "Obi Wan never told you who your father was." and then says something about ruling the galaxy side by side as father and son...but he never ACTUALLY says "Luke, I am your father", if memory serves...but it has been a while since I last saw TESB.

frodo1511
02-08-2004, 01:43 AM
Nahh...it's been so abused it's become cliche now...I actually cringe when I hear it.

Hang on...if memory serves that "Luke I am your father" is one of those infamous misquoted lines...I believe it's "Obi Wan never told you who your father was." and then says something about ruling the galaxy side by side as father and son...but he never ACTUALLY says "Luke, I am your father", if memory serves...but it has been a while since I last saw TESB.


Darth does say "I am your father", I just don't think he said Luke before it. But I agree with the whole overquoted thing. It's been redone in too many movies to think of, and all the middle school kiddies say it all the time. Actually gets irritating hearing it so often. But it was all the rage back in 1980:)

Hazzle
02-08-2004, 09:18 PM
Yeah, something like that...I just recall it being misquoted.

Justin
02-08-2004, 10:13 PM
"We'll make him an offer he can't refuse." - Don Corleone, the Godfather
This one, is definetly the best :)

alby
02-08-2004, 11:44 PM
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brook Shields

Dyce_Blue
03-08-2004, 02:32 AM
"I'm coming, uncle."

or

"I'm a Hong Kong detective."

-Jackie Chan in 90% of his movies

Elijahfan
03-08-2004, 02:51 AM
Star wars is so over quoted. my teacher always said before a test, "good luck, god speed, and may the force be with you"

fight club has some good quotes, but i'd have to say my favorite quotes are from the tv show futurama.

Fry: "What's so wonderful about Leela being normal? The rest of us aren't normal, and that's what makes us great. Like Dr. Zoidberg! He's a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage, and does."
Zoidberg: "Damn right!"
Fry: "And the professor's a senile, amoral crackpot."
Professor: "Ohhhea."
Fry: "Hermes is a rastafarian accountant."
Hermes: "Tally me banana!"
Fry: "Amy's a klutz from Mars!"
Amy: (crash) "s'ploops!"
Professor: "And Fry, you've got that brain thing."
Fry: "I already did! So Leela - do you wanna be like us, or do you wanna be like Adelai...with no severe mental or social problems whatsoever."
Leela: “That’s the dumbest question I ever heard.”

Bender: Well I don't have anything else planned for today, let's get drunk!

Fry: C'mon Bender it's upto you to make your own decisions in life. That's what separates people and robots from animals... and animal robots.

Bender: You were right Fry. From now I'm going to bend what I want, when I want, who I want. I'm UNSTOPPABLE!

Fry: It's the future, my parents, my co-workers, my girlfriend, I'll never see any of them ever again..... YAHOOO!

Robot Cop: If they try to take off, give 'em an ass-full of lazer.

"Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you. And if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch, like a safecracker or a pickpocket."
— God, Futurama

Forget your stupid theme park! I'm gonna make my own! With hookers! And blackjack! In fact, forget the theme park! ----Bender

Like most of life's problems, this one can be solved with bending. ---Bender

Yes! Which is why we'll market it as "New Slurm"! Then when everyone hates it, we'll bring back "Slurm Classic," and make billions! Bwwhahahahahahaaaa. ----Slurm Queen

Bender: "Look, I'm driving with my ass..."
Fry: "That's the best thing I've EVER seen!"

"It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for the winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?"- Fry

FRY: While other people were out living their lives, i wasted my life watching tv, in hopes some day it would help me save the world, plus I'd lose my workman's comp.

Michelle: "Fry, is it really you?"
Fry: "I don't know. Is it really you?"
Michelle: "What do you mean you don't know? Are you you or not?"
Fry: "Who wants to know?"

Bender: Bite my shiny, metal ass!

Leela: Being rich has nothing to do with getting a date.
Amy: Oh, so it's just a coincidence that Zoidberg's dirt poor and desperately lonely?
Leela: For your information, it's because he's hideous.
"If we can hit the bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards... Checkmate. Now like all great plans my strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it. On my command, all ships will line up and file directly into the alien death cannons, clogging them with wreckage."
-Zapp Branigan

Just thinking you're a robot doesn't make you a robot. I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. These fancy clothes do.
---Dr. Zoidberg

Leela: You know, Zapp, someone ought to teach you a lesson.
Zapp: If it's a lesson in love, watch out. I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kiff?
Kiff: Sex-lexia.

Fry: Are you people satisfied? This gentle visitor is dying and we'll never even know why he came.
500 ft Bender: I'll tell you why with my final breath. I came here with a simple dream. A dream of killing all humans and this is how it must end? Who's the real seven-billion-ton robot monster here? Not I, not I.
Fry: Good night, sweet prince.

Fry: Wait a second! I know that monkey, his name is Donkey.
Professor: Monkeys aren’t donkeys, quit messing with my head!

Bender: Kids, meet the jerk-bags I work with.
Kids: Hello jerk-bags!

Kid: Can we have Bender Burgers again?
Bender: No, the cat shelter’s on to me.

Bender: Daddy’s tired, lets just have another dog pile on Fry.

Bender: What do we say when someone gives you something?
Kid: Bout time!
Bender: That’s my boy.

Professor: Oh a lesson in history from “I’m my own grandpa.”

Professor: Screw history!

Fry: Bender, what was it like lying in that hole for a thousand years?
Bender: I was enjoying it until you guys showed up.

Bender: Way to suck it!

Zapp: Don’t be such a chicken, Kiff. Teenagers all smoke and they seem pretty on the ball.

Fry: Wait… I’m having one of those things, yeah no, a headache with pictures.
Leela: An idea?
Fry: mhum…


sorry it's long...

Pinkfairy
03-08-2004, 06:01 AM
"Welcome to the O.C. bitch"-Luke to Ryan

"My name is Buck, and I'm here to fuck" Kill Bill Vol.1

alby
03-08-2004, 06:07 AM
"Bastard son of Barney! Die! Die, stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubbie! Die, you Muppet from hell! Die, you foam motherfucker!" - Robin Williams, Death to Shmoochy

:icon_lol:

Dyce_Blue
03-08-2004, 07:23 AM
These are some lines from TV...

From the Simpsons:
Bart: Dad, are you licking toads again?
Homer: I'm not...not licking toads.


From King of the Hill:
Hank: You may take one stuffed animal
Bobby: Yaaay!
Hank: (shakes head) Not the pink bunny.

From Family Matters
Urkel: Did I do that?


THE WORST LINES EVER

From a live TV press conference directly after Kansas lost the NCAA basketball championship to Syracuse in 2003
Reporter: So Dean, are you going to coach at North Carolina next year?
Kansas Coach Dean Smith: I don't wanna fucking talk about that!
(Dean Smith is now the coach of North Carolina)

From a live halftime interview on ESPN during a Rockets vs. Lakers regular season game
Jim Gray: Steve, do you have anything to say about the first half?
Rockets guard Steve Francis:This is bullshit!
(Steve Francis was traded at the end of that season)

=200

frodo1511
03-08-2004, 05:28 PM
From Dodgeball:
Cotton- "It appears that Peter LeFleur is going to play sudden-death dodgeball, while blindfolded"
Pepper- "Yeah, he will not be able to see very good, Cotton"

Richard
03-08-2004, 05:56 PM
"Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance." ~ Samuel Johnson

"Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve." ~ Dr. Napoleon Hill

"No man can hide from his fears, as they are apart of him. They will always know where he is hiding."

DefyingGravity
03-08-2004, 07:40 PM
(Lukewarm Beige and Mindy the Narcissistic Cheerleader Witch are about to duel with their pointy wooden swords)
Lukewarm Beige: I'm gonna defeat you, Mindy!! YOU KILLED MY FATHER!!!
Mindy: No, Luke....
(long pause)
Mindy: ....Warm. I AM your father.
Lukewarm Beige: No, no....
(Lukewarm Beige falls to her knees, screaming)
Lukewarm Beige: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

~Lukewarm Beige and the Seven Mildly Deformed Little People

Renegade
03-08-2004, 11:31 PM
Frodo, you just reminded me of quotes from the funniest movie this summer-Dodgeball

White Goodman: You should quit now.
Peter La Fleur: I think I'll take my chances in the tournament.
White Goodman: Yeah, you will take your chances!
Peter La Fleur: That's what I just said...
White Goodman: That's what I'm saying to you!
Peter La Fleur: Okay, I'm not sure where you're trying to go with this...
White Goodman: Well, I'm not sure where you're going with this!
Peter La Fleur: All right?...
White Goodman: Touché.

Patches: If you dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!
Patches: If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball!

Patches:Remember the five D's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!

alby
04-08-2004, 04:24 AM
"I've never really killed anyone before. I mean I've dropped bombs on Baghdad, but never face to face. I don't know what the big deal is, I really don't." - Christian Slater, Broken Arrow

Nick
04-08-2004, 04:51 AM
One of the funniest scenes ever is from Monty Python and the Holy Grail when Galahad goes to the Castle Anthrax and is rescued by Launcelot. It's so funny that I couldn't pick just one line. Of course those of you who haven't seen the movie may not get the joke because it's much funnier to watch it rather than read the script, in which case I urge you to go rent the movie immediately.

LAUNCELOT:
Come on!
GIRLS:
Sir Galahad!
GALAHAD:
No. Look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!
DINGO:
Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!
GIRLS:
Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!
LAUNCELOT:
No, Sir Galahad. Come on!
GALAHAD:
No! Really! Honestly, I can cope. I can handle this lot easily.
DINGO:
Oh, yes. Let him handle us easily.
GIRLS:
Yes. Let him handle us easily.
LAUNCELOT:
No. Quick! Quick!
GALAHAD:
Please! I can defeat them! There's only a hundred-and-fifty of them!
DINGO:
Yes! Yes, he will beat us easily! We haven't a chance.
GIRLS:
We haven't a chance. He will beat us easily...
[boom]
DINGO:
Oh, shit.

LAUNCELOT:
We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
GALAHAD:
I don't think I was.
LAUNCELOT:
Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
GALAHAD:
Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
LAUNCELOT:
No, it's too perilous.
GALAHAD:
Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
LAUNCELOT:
No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
GALAHAD:
Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
LAUNCELOT:
No. It's unhealthy.
GALAHAD:
I bet you're gay.
LAUNCELOT:
No, I'm not.

ryan
04-08-2004, 10:25 AM
"I've never really killed anyone before. I mean I've dropped bombs on Baghdad, but never face to face. I don't know what the big deal is, I really don't." - Christian Slater, Broken Arrow
Travolta said that, not Slater.

frodo1511
04-08-2004, 02:34 PM
Frodo, you just reminded me of quotes from the funniest movie this summer-Dodgeball

White Goodman: You should quit now.
Peter La Fleur: I think I'll take my chances in the tournament.
White Goodman: Yeah, you will take your chances!
Peter La Fleur: That's what I just said...
White Goodman: That's what I'm saying to you!
Peter La Fleur: Okay, I'm not sure where you're trying to go with this...
White Goodman: Well, I'm not sure where you're going with this!
Peter La Fleur: All right?...
White Goodman: Touché.

Patches: If you dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!
Patches: If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball!

Patches:Remember the five D's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!


I know, I LOVE that movie:

White: "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. Nobody!"

Patches: "C'mon, you all look like a couple of retards trying to hump a doorknob!"

Patches: "Do you think it's necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but it's sterile, and I like the taste of it!


Oh, and Nick, here's another one from the Holy Grail:

The Bridge-watcher(?): "What is your name?"
Arthur: "I am Arthur, king of the Britans"
Watcher: "What is your quest?"
Arthur: "To find the Holy Grail"
Watcher: "What is the airspeed of an unlaiden swallow?"
Arthur: "African or European?"
Watcher: "Uh, I don't know." (Falls off the bridge, into lava)

Nick
05-08-2004, 06:19 AM
Thanks frodo I almost forgot about the bridge watcher scene, that's one of the best scenes in the movie aside from the "burn the witch scene." I actually haven't seen the movie in a while, maybe I'll go rent it again to refresh my memory, or better yet maybe I'll buy the DVD!

alby
05-08-2004, 06:46 AM
From Casablanca

Major Strasser (Conrad Veidt): What is your nationality?
Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart): I'm a drunkard.
Captain Louis Renault (Claude Rains): That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. - Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction

DragonRat
05-08-2004, 10:30 AM
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. - Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction

'Tis Ezekiel 25:17, or at least the last two sentences.

Another great quote that is misquoted to have been said by Keyser Soze (Verbal Kint) in The Usual Suspects comes from Baudelaire: "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." Actually, Baudelaire stated that, "The devil's cleverest ruse is to make men believe that he does not exist."

frodo1511
05-08-2004, 03:22 PM
Thanks frodo I almost forgot about the bridge watcher scene, that's one of the best scenes in the movie aside from the "burn the witch scene." I actually haven't seen the movie in a while, maybe I'll go rent it again to refresh my memory, or better yet maybe I'll buy the DVD!


I also like the scene in the beginning of the movie, with the guy and the wheelbarrel yelling out "Bring out your dead", and one person tries to give away someone NOT dead. It's hilarious.

Oh, here's one from the newest movie in the King Arthur legend. Uh, King Arthur:

Bors: I could never piss straight. It kinda reminds me of a babies' arm trying to hold an apple."
I laugh everytime I hear that line:)

Dyce_Blue
05-08-2004, 03:39 PM
From Napoleon Dynamite

"Lafawnduh is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know she's my soulmate. Don't worry Napolean, there's a chick out there for you. Peace out." - Kip

Liam
05-08-2004, 06:29 PM
John Travolta, Pulp Fiction.

"Oh man, I just shot Marvin in the face."

Kelsey
06-08-2004, 01:02 AM
what's the beginning of the line in Varsity Blues...

...sex and football, s'all there is.

Amy Smart says it....

Richard
06-08-2004, 01:26 AM
I personally think this is the best short speech I've ever heard in a horror film.

"I met him, fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding of even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year-old child, with this blind, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes... the DEVIL'S eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply... EVIL."

alby
07-08-2004, 04:19 AM
We are like the ninja of stoner movies.

They have carmelized onions, which is the key to their power.

John Cho, discussing Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle and White Castle hamburgers on Late Night with Conan O'Brien

'Tis Ezekiel 25:17, or at least the last two sentences.

The quote is correct, I think. I left out the Ezekiel part for no reason in particular. I think the quote is preceded by "There's a passage I got memorized, seems appropriate for this occassion: Ezekiel 25:17." As for the Broken Arrow quote, I thought Slater said it, but I'm not sure.

"We'll make him an offer he can't refuse." - Don Corleone, the Godfather

Don Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando) says, "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse." Don Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) says, "I'll make him an offer he can't refuse."

frodo1511
07-08-2004, 05:29 AM
Since I just saw I, Robot again last evening:

"You are the dumbest dumb-person I have ever met!"

DragonRat
07-08-2004, 10:25 AM
From Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

"They named it San Di-ah-go. I believe it's German for 'a whale's vagina'." (Will Ferrell)

"I am not a child. I am a MAN. I invented the wheel, and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal." (Will Ferrell)

"Well yeah, did you get your clothes at...the toilet store?" (Steve Carell)

Brian: "Some of its pieces are made out of real panther."
Ron: "Really, that is a incredibly pungent scent."
Brian: "They say that, 60% of the time, it works EVERYTIME."
Ron: "That makes no sense."

Brick: "Ms. Corningstone, you are invited to the pants party."
Veronica: "What?"
Brick: "The pants party."
Veronica: "Did Brian put you up to this?"
Brick: "No."
Veronica: "Wait, are you saying, there's a party in your pants, and that I'm invited."
Brick: "Yes."
Veronica: "No, Brick."
Brick: "Fair enough. Bill, would you like to go to a party in my pants?"
Bill: "No, Brick."
Brick: "Alright. Let's get going!"
(Runs off around the corner and crashes into something)
Brick: "I'm alright!"

Honestly, there are so many stupidly funny quotes from that movie.

frodo1511
07-08-2004, 03:28 PM
Speaking of Anchorman, here's the most-quoted line from the movie:

"I love Scotch. Scotchy, scotch scotch!"

Elijahfan
07-08-2004, 03:57 PM
i just watched Croupier this week, and i loved the little speech clive owen gives:

"The world breaks everyone and afterwards many are strong at the broken places, but those that will not break, it kills. It kills the very good, and the very gentle, and the very brave. In partially if you are none of these, you can be sure it will kill you too. But there will be no specially hurry."

frodo1511
07-08-2004, 04:21 PM
i just watched Croupier this week, and i loved the little speech clive owen gives:

"The world breaks everyone and afterwards many are strong at the broken places, but those that will not break, it kills. It kills the very good, and the very gentle, and the very brave. In partially if you are none of these, you can be sure it will kill you too. But there will be no specially hurry."

I did enjoy Clive Owen's performance in The Bourne Identity, even if he only had about 5 lines of dialogue. But, I guess when your the worlds best assasin, you don't have to talk that much, eh?