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Richard
25-07-2004, 08:07 PM
Since we all care about each other, share your tips on life. For all you know, your tip may save one of us from a near-death experience.

- Make sure your stove is off before lighting a match.
- When at a restaurant or a place of business, use a bathroom stall when you take a leak.
- When you pay bullies on a timely manner, they tend to leave you alone.

It gets better. Make it better. Put some spunk into it.

duckula
25-07-2004, 08:52 PM
- Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.
- When in doubt, run.

KeirazBabe
25-07-2004, 09:08 PM
- Always carry lipgloss!

acliff
25-07-2004, 09:36 PM
-50% of people have an IQ of less than 100.
-Always carry chewing gum, for those less than fresh moments
-Swiss army knives are your friend.
-Ballpoint pens are useful for all manner of things, including defence against un/armed assailants ala Grosse Point Blank

apoggy
25-07-2004, 09:55 PM
- Come to the KKW BBQ, its gonna be explosive

- IRC is the place to be

- Enjoy yourself, while you still can

duckula
25-07-2004, 10:01 PM
- To thine own self be true.
- More words count less.
- No fight: No blame.
- Accept disgrace willingly. Accept misfortune as the human condition.
- Knowing others is wisdom; Knowing the self is enlightenment.
- Those who know do not talk.
Those who talk do not know.

With thanks to Lao Tzu and Willy S.

Spire
25-07-2004, 10:36 PM
- People are stupid. So don't let them get on your nerves.
- Don't spend the first 1/3 of your life working your ass off so you can spend the next 1/3 of your life slaving away at a job that lets you spend the last 1/3 of your life dying comfortably.
- Try to leave the cops out of as much stuff as possible.

Dyce_Blue
25-07-2004, 10:38 PM
"Your family is one of nature's masterpieces"
"We will not know the worth of the water until the well dry"

c/o Auntie Chang's Chinese Take-Out

Kelsey
25-07-2004, 11:53 PM
Don't let your life wait for other people.

Narg
26-07-2004, 12:17 AM
- work to live, dont live to work.
- have fun.
- dont take life so serious.

Richard
26-07-2004, 01:22 AM
- Make friends with coffee.
- Don't pick on n.e.r.d.s.
- Masterbaution keeps you from sinning.
- Don't stare, occasionly glance.

Spire
26-07-2004, 01:26 AM
- Masterbaution keeps you from sinning.

Only if you don't do it out of lust, which rarely happens. But that's just my opinion, and I'm no saint.

Hazzle
26-07-2004, 01:44 AM
-What Haz says is always right
-Never argue with Haz
-Haz is the coolest...be his friend...buy him presents...and kiss his arse

apoggy
26-07-2004, 01:51 AM
- Haz is always wrong

- Argue with Haz

- Haz is a spam ridden idiot...ignore him...he might go away....kiss his arse, he'll enjoy it, maybe lick too, thats up to you

- I'm an admin, so what I say is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

brownman
26-07-2004, 04:39 AM
Life sucks - get in line.

hasselbrad
26-07-2004, 04:13 PM
"Hot" and "beautiful" are not synonyms in a woman's vocabulary.
The left lane is for passing.
One triple dipped tab of acid is more than enough.
Children repeat everything.

Richard
26-07-2004, 06:33 PM
- Don't stick your hands into the ocean and pick stuff up.
- Water is not your friend, it can kill you.
- No matter what happens, school never gets cancelled.
- Sluts die, virgins live.

Elijahfan
26-07-2004, 06:52 PM
- dont piss off to a teacher, in front of them of course
- if people can make you happy, they can also make you sad
- anyone who always asks for favors and mooches is not your friend, walk away immediately
- pedestrains are potiental road kill
- knives are always helpful
- when in doubt if someone is a threat, just pull out a knife and tell them to give you all their money

jadie
26-07-2004, 06:55 PM
-When you're obsessed with a boy that is obsessed with another girl who is obsessed with a boy that will never like her, either go for it and ask him out, or give up on it.
-You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

Renegade
26-07-2004, 10:06 PM
-Love, or lust, makes you do stupid things. Proceed cautiously.
-Don't talk on a cell phone while in the vicinity of a gas station...well unless you want to risk a chance of causing an electronically-fuelled explosion :)
-FAMILY is important...It's a chance for you say to someone you love "Forget About Me, I Love You"...pathetic, yes I know.

Richard
26-07-2004, 10:14 PM
-FAMILY is important...It's a chance for you say to someone you love "Forget About Me, I Love You"...pathetic, yes I know.

Not really, quite original to me. I think I might use that. :)

- When you vomit in space, it'll end up on your face.
- Never judge a book by it's cover.
- Don't be friends with somebody who doesn't like Pulp Fiction.

I'm running out of good tips.

acliff
26-07-2004, 10:43 PM
I'm running out of good tips.

Q Tips are good tips.

Pinkfairy
26-07-2004, 11:05 PM
-When someone tells you to fuck off, then fuck off.
-Learn to laugh at yourself.
-Don't take ANYTHING seriously.
-''This life is worth living,we say, since it is what we make it''-William James.(I love that quote).

Jacoby
26-07-2004, 11:52 PM
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. - Ernest Hemingway

The only advice I have is....Expect the worst to happen, but don't let your attitude reflect the expected. If you expect the worse you can never be let down, but don't always be gloomy, because people will hate you. Like me, I hate you.

Elijahfan
27-07-2004, 12:00 AM
The only advice I have is....Expect the worst to happen, but don't let your attitude reflect the expected. If you expect the worse you can never be let down, but don't always be gloomy, because people will hate you. Like me, I hate you.

the best advice ever! when i dont study for a test, i keep expecting an F, then i get a C or B and it cheers me all up

KRev
27-07-2004, 07:56 AM
- Believe in science when it can be proved.

Kelsey
27-07-2004, 08:01 AM
* Don't just a book by it's movie.

* The Sun'll Come out Tomorrow :)

hasselbrad
27-07-2004, 12:39 PM
-Some people need killin'.
-Salt your napkin/coaster in a bar, and it won't stick to your glass.
-Nose grease will take the head off a beer.
-Bourbon and Coke is a "candy-assed" drink. (Thanks for that one, Mom!)
-If it keeps on raining...yes, the levee will break.
-Start drinking again to cure a hangover.
-Aim for the nose...it bleeds easy and hurts like hell.
-Always be nice to cops...there's not always a video camera around. (This is especially true in New Orleans. They enjoy beating the hell out of people. Oh...and one more thing, never, ever touch a mounted N.O. cops' horse.)

ChocolateMoose
27-07-2004, 03:45 PM
* Think negativley about everything. That way, if it turns out bad, then thats what you expected. If it turns out well, then thats excellent!

* Life is short and its too precious to waste. Make the most of it, before its too late.

acliff
27-07-2004, 05:32 PM
* Think negativley about everything. That way, if it turns out bad, then thats what you expected. If it turns out well, then thats excellent!

That is the worst tip that I have ever heard. Completely against my optimistic nature.

Richard
28-07-2004, 12:33 AM
- Don't go to a hillbilly state, rather than kill you... they keep you.
- There is no need to yell, be nice.
- No sex is better than sex. Nevermind. Please use a condom.
- Nobody likes a smartass.

Hazzle
28-07-2004, 01:08 AM
- Believe in science when it can be proved.

What about religion which can't be proved? ;)

* Think negativley about everything. That way, if it turns out bad, then thats what you expected. If it turns out well, then thats excellent!


I agree.

That is the worst tip that I have ever heard. Completely against my optimistic nature.

Yes, but here's another tip. Optimism is the path to a depraved life. Just look at Cliff's pathetic existence :p



- Nobody likes a smartass.

Oh? But I'm a smartass (or smartarse, as I prefer) and everyone loves...oh...wait...I see your point :(

My tip:

-Don't piss off Jules Paxton...she'll hurt you...I bear the scars to prove it :icon_redf

alby
28-07-2004, 01:16 AM
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. - Ernest Hemingway

The only advice I have is....Expect the worst to happen, but don't let your attitude reflect the expected. If you expect the worse you can never be let down, but don't always be gloomy, because people will hate you. Like me, I hate you.

LOL. nice.

Don't make a "thumbs up" hand gesture in Iran, especially if you're an American.

KRev
28-07-2004, 02:56 AM
If it does't abide by scientific law, it isn't science.

Dyce_Blue
28-07-2004, 03:06 AM
Never, EVER, use the N-word (If you are not black). Even if you are on a basketball team of all black players and coaches that refer to you as an N-word, you never say it aloud. Trust me.

I don't know how helpful this is to non-Americans.

Richard
28-07-2004, 03:13 AM
Never, EVER, use the N-word (If you are not black). Even if you are on a basketball team of all black players and coaches that refer to you as an N-word, you never say it aloud. Trust me.

I don't know how helpful this is to non-Americans.

I should hope anybody that has a brain knows that, but then again some don't. Let's not start that shit. :icon_err: Commence to the race-free tips, but feel free to poke fun at the hillbillies.

DragonRat
28-07-2004, 10:10 AM
If it does't abide by scientific law, it isn't science.

Don't know if those are words to live by, or advice to curtail the ongoing thrust of evolution in the parochial classroom.

As for advice, I believe in two types of regret: regret of action, and regret of inaction. Most people regret things that they did, and that can haunt them for long periods of time. But I think most people will agree, that it is in regretting those actions that we thought about, but never did, that haunts them for their entire lives. Two words define the melancholy man: "What if?"

If you're going to live life, then make sure you don't regret that which you did not do.

ChocolateMoose
28-07-2004, 10:27 AM
That is the worst tip that I have ever heard. Completely against my optimistic nature.

Well, it works for some and trust me, its a lost easier than thinking positivley about everything, because if you think like that when things go wrong, you can get very disappointed. Expect the worst and you'll be ok.

Nick
28-07-2004, 11:07 AM
Things aren't always what they seem, looks can be deceiving (take my ex-girlfriend for example, looks good but is really a complete bitch.)

Glare
28-07-2004, 11:10 AM
<Tips>
If it's too good to be true, it probably is
Don’t become a model, you will instantly drop 100 IQ and have the personality of a small African rodent.
</tips>

Hazzle
28-07-2004, 04:14 PM
If it does't abide by scientific law, it isn't science.

Ahh...good point...does that mean if the bible contradicts itself (and it does) it's wrong too? Thank you...all I had to say.

Here's one...

If you're weak minded enough to need to place blind faith in some entity you have no reason to believe in, fair enough, if it makes your life easier to live, do it, but have the intelligence to accept it as your own personal decision to wear blinkers, and don't shove them onto everyone else...mmmkay?

KRev
28-07-2004, 09:50 PM
Old Addage: "Don't push your faith on me!"

Can't this apply to atheism and secular humanism?

Or do such people have a license to prejudicial, narrow-minded, anti-religious bigots?

Hazzle
28-07-2004, 10:15 PM
Old Addage: "Don't push your faith on me!"

Can't this apply to atheism and secular humanism?

Or do such people have a license to prejudicial, narrow-minded, anti-religious bigots?

It does...you'll find I respect a LOT of people with strong religious beliefs (see DR for example). It's just you're a prick with it...

I was religious for most of my life, I'm not prejudicial nor narrow minded, as you'll find unlike you I accept everyone has their own beliefs, their own principles and what not...I respect people who have religion...just not those who shove it onto others like yourself...cretins don't get my respect, arsehole.

As for being narrow-minded...haha...given the church's opinion on gay marriages, and mine...that's funny. I'm not anti-religion...I'm anti YOU.

And you can take that to the bank, dipstick. Oh...and if you wish to continue this, do so in PMs as this post I'm replying to had NO life tip in it...thanks :D

Richard
28-07-2004, 10:32 PM
Hazzy, are you drunk? Nevermind. :)

Ah, more daily tips...

- If you're Chuck Norris, violence does solve everything.
- Ageism is an obstacle, look past that and marry an old broad.
- Be cautious. "Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".

(Just like this summer, it's almost August, and I haven't done shit.)

- "No man can hide from his fears, as they are apart of him. They will always know where he is hiding." - Best damn quote ever, about fears at least.

Hazzle
28-07-2004, 10:33 PM
Hazzy, are you drunk? Nevermind. :)

Nahh...I am pissed...but not in that way ;)

Oooh...another tip...don't come and post on KKW when depressed and drunk...trust me...it's NOT good :icon_redf

Hazzle
01-08-2004, 02:04 PM
If you're pestered by people you don't like and who won't leave you alone, remember:
Some people have a large circle of friends while others only have friends that they like.
(I dont make sense)

Awww...if I was bothering you, you just had to say... :icon_mecr

And yes, you do make sense...some people have a lot of friends...others are more selective...although not sure it's true...I have a lot of friends and I'm very selective...then again I fight with most of my friends over their less tolerable traits :p

Or maybe I just THINK I have a large circle of friends.... :icon_conf

And that brings me on to my tip:

Paranoia is good. That way when something bad happens yer prepared :D

alby
03-08-2004, 05:37 AM
If you're ever convicted of cocaine charges, you can always run for the mayoralty of D.C. Just look at Marion Barry. :icon_lol:

SimplyKnightley
27-01-2005, 04:29 AM
- the best way to overcome your fear is to confront it.
- do not burn the bridges behind you. u never know when you might need them again.
- sometimes your parents do know best.
- believe that you can make a difference, no matter how insignificant u think a part u play.
- do not harm others, but know how to protect yourself.

that's all for now.

deviljet88
27-01-2005, 05:00 AM
- When attempting to annoy someone, spamming them on MSN doesn't work. Relates to a fuckletard that's been sending me messages from 11am-5pm.
-When someone's status on MSN is away, generally they aren't on their computers, so kindly fuck off or just leave a message for them when they get back.

SimplyKnightley
27-01-2005, 05:06 AM
- When attempting to annoy someone, spamming them on MSN doesn't work. Relates to a fuckletard that's been sending me messages from 11am-5pm.
-When someone's status on MSN is away, generally they aren't on their computers, so kindly fuck off or just leave a message for them when they get back.


wowee jet, u have a stalker :icon_eplu

Bait
27-01-2005, 05:36 AM
heres a couple tips for highschool students:

*try weed/alcohol at least once...you wont become a junkie or what ever you hear and its a great experience...
-also as long as you dont go to meetings you arent an alcoholic.

*Don't start smoking cigarettes, some of my friends are already trying to quit and they cant...it sucks and its a waste of money.

*cheat all you want, it works for now...and present tense is what we live in so no matter what it will work as long as you dont get caught :P

Zavender
27-01-2005, 08:46 AM
-Trying is the first step towards failure.

-We're born wet, hungry, and naked. Then things get worse.

-Life's a bitch, becareful when she's in heat.

-Never make goals. If you make a goal and fail, you'll be disapointed. Without making them, you'll be pleasently surprised at life.

hasselbrad
27-01-2005, 12:38 PM
-If you drink a lot of coffee to stay awake so you can study for a test while you have a cold, don't take NyQuil when it's time to go to bed.
-Beer before liquor...never sicker, liquor before beer...never fear.
-Mimosas and/or Bloody Marys for breakfast are the best ways to relieve a hangover.
-Most people do not know how to use their rearview mirrors. Remember this in traffic.
-The shortest distance between two points is generally under construction.
-Check for toilet paper before you sit down.
-They call it a sucker bet for a reason.
-When betting on dogs, bet on the one who takes a dump closest to post time, otherwise...
-Fat dog on the inside rail.
-Cops don't like a smartass.